


Charming is Calling

by Kat2006



Category: Sons of Anarchy
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-08-04
Packaged: 2020-02-26 12:03:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 69,291
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18716695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kat2006/pseuds/Kat2006
Summary: Lucy Trager had planned on breezing back into Charming for 2 days to simply tell her dad about her recent visit from the ATF but after ten years of silence she really should remember that once you have called Charming home that trying to leave it all behind you again is never really an option.This is an AU story which roughly starts in season 1 but won't always follow the timeline or events of the show.Disclaimer I own nothing but my ideas and my O/C's. the rest belongs to the wonderfully talented Mr Sutter.





	1. Chapter 1

I knew that I needed to calm down as I pulled into the Teller Morrow lot, but my blood was boiling. I had seen my father once in the last decade and that was only because I had been in hospital and they called him, that reunion had not gone well to say the least. So now six months later it came as a shock that some ATF bitch had showed up to at my garage talking all kinds of bullshit about my dad and the Sons, but the bitch crossed the line when she started bringing up my son and child services. After I had shut the bitch down I knew that even after all these years I had to go back to Charming and see my dad. 

Taking a deep breath I turned off the car and opened the door. I looked around and realised that even though it had been a decade nothing much had changed around the lot. I had barely walked ten steps when I saw my father walking towards me with a surprised look on his face at seeing me. He sped up his steps til he was standing in front of me, he made to hug me but I held up my hand and took a step back before I spat ‘wanna explain to me why some ATF cunt has been sniffing around me and my son Tig, talking all kinds of shit about my relationship with you and all this?’ 

‘What the fuck you talking about Luce, why don’t we go into the club house and talk and catch up?’

‘I’m not really in the catching up mood dad, I just drove straight from the airport after a six hour flight from Boston, I just want to know why the hell I’m being dragged into whatever the fuck is going on after not seeing any of you in a fucking decade?’ I knew I was shouting by the end and drawing attention but I really didn't give a fuck at this point. I quickly cast my eyes towards the garage and I could see Jax, Opie, Gemma and Chibs looking at me with matching shocked expressions but again I couldn’t seem to make myself care.

‘Luce please why don’t we go get a beer and you can tell me exactly what happened ok?’

‘Fine, but I’m gonna need something a lot fucking stronger than a beer dad. I’m here for one night then I’m getting the hell outta this place, got it.’ 

He just nodded at me and we both walked towards the club house but I knew within minutes the others would follow them. Even after all these years I knew nothing happened around here in private. As I walked in I stopped dead in my tracks and looked around at the room where I had spent most of my time growing up and I couldn’t help but smile at the fact that it hadn’t changed at all. I knew my dad was looking at me but I held myself poker straight determined not to let any emotion other than anger show on my face. I walked towards the bar and told the man behind it I wanted a whiskey straight, he looked between me and Tig and opened his mouth but before he could utter a word Tig said ‘unless the next words outta your mouth are yes ma'am Juice I will make you eat your teeth’ he growled as he reached over the bar and grabbed a beer. Juice looked stunned before turning quickly and pouring four fingers of whiskey into a clean glass and gently putting it in front of me before daring to glance at Tig and walking quickly out of the club house but before the door could close behind him the others walked in just as I thought. Whilst I hadn’t let my dad hug me I didn’t really have much of a chance to stop Opie as he picked me up and swung me like I was five all over again.

‘Fucks sake Opie put me down you fucking overgrown child!’ I shouted as he finally put me back on my feet.

‘What I missed ya?’ he simply said before grabbing a beer. Jax was next pulling me into his arms and whispering to me that he had missed me too. I honestly didn’t think that coming back here after all these years would evoke such a strong reaction from me but I could feel my eyes moisten as I was suddenly pulled out of Jax's arms and into Chibs. He didn’t say anything just held me before kissing my hair and then walking back towards the dorms. I turned and looked at Gemma who simply raised an eyebrow at me and I almost threw myself at Gemma and clung to her. I knew that if I didn’t release Gemma that I was going to lose the control I had over my emotions so I pulled back walked over to the bar and downed the drink that had been poured for me, Opie just raised an eyebrow at me before pouring more into my glass.

‘Right, someone want to tell me why I got a visit from the ATF two days ago?’ I asked as I went to sit on the couch that was next to the pool table. Everyone looked at each before Gemma said ‘Lucy the others should be back within the hour so why don’t we wait until then to talk about everything.’

‘Fine, but I want the truth Gemma, she threatened my kid when she was spouting her bullshit.’

‘I know Luce’ Gemma replied as they all came and sat down, Chibs walked back out from the dorms and grabbed a beer before joining us.

I didn’t really know what to say to any of them, it had been so long since I had been around any of them apart from my dad who came to see me briefly after the accident. 

After a few minutes of strained silence it was Jax who asked ‘so you kept the kid then’ and I couldn’t help but smirk as Gemma, Opie and Tig all groaned in unison as Chibs slapped him on the back of the head.

‘Yeah I did, he turned ten last week and believe me Alex keeps me on my toes’. I hadn’t realised what I had said til Tig spat his beer all over Jax who was sitting opposite him, after he had finished choking he looked at me and I could see he had tears in his eyes and I honestly didn’t know whether it was from choking or the fact that despite everything that had happened when I told him that I was pregnant I had still named him after him. He suddenly stood up and walked straight out of the club house slamming the door so hard that I could see the hole in the wall from across the room. 

‘Oh shit’ I said downing my drink again and standing up to follow him outside when Gemma touched my hand ‘Maybe you should give him a minute Luce?’

‘Nah, Gemma, this is ten years in the making, I think its time we had this out once and for all’. She just nodded at me and I knew that there would likely follow to watch and keep an eye out for us. We were far too similar for this to turn out anything other than a screaming match.

I walked out of the club house and saw my dad sitting on top of one of the picnic tables with his head in one hand and a smoke in the other, I stopped a few feet from him and simply stood there looking at him not really knowing how to start this. When he came to the hospital months ago we had ended up arguing which resulted in him being escorted out by security and me refusing to see him again so I was shocked when his head shot up and he looked at me with tears in his eyes.

‘Dad’ I started but he cut me off before I could say more.

‘No Lucy let me just say this ok, I am so sorry for how I reacted when you told me you where pregnant, I said some really shitty things to you. Christ it was the first time I had ever hit you. I am just so fucking sorry about everything and then I find out that you did it all alone after you left here. After everything you have been through. FUCK!’

‘Jesus dad, I was never scared of you even when you slapped me it was all the shit you said about mom that made me stop in my tracks. I questioned everything we had been through when you started spewing all that shit about me being a whore just like her.’ I knew my voice was steadily getting louder as I paced in front of him but I knew that the only way for us to ever be able to move forward was to have it out and scream at each like we did when I was a teenager. 

 

‘Fuck dad I was already through with my second year of college and you dismissed everything I had done because I made one mistake, after all the times I forgave you for fucking up with me when I was a kid and you treated me like I was a fucking crow eater. Then you had the nerve to say I was fucking uncle Koz and that he had knocked me up. Jesus Christ I love him like I love you, we fucking moved in with him when I came to live here. He helped raise me cause you certainly had no fucking clue what to do with a daughter, and then you treat him like shit for the next decade cause he called you out on your shit!’ I screamed at him and at the mention of Koz his head snapped to me. ‘Yeah I’m still in touch with uncle Koz and we speak every few weeks even when he couldn’t take your shit anymore and transferred charters, he came to Boston last week for Alex’s birthday and I swear to god you give him anymore shit for it and I will fucking kill you. He is the only one who ever tried to reach out to me. You all just fucking let me go, do you have any idea how fucking scared I was at nineteen, pregnant and being disowned by the one person who was meant to love me unconditionally. I told the father that I was pregnant and he simply gave me money and told me to deal with it. I never told you who it was cause I didn’t want to cause a rift between you and a brother. So fuck you and your sorry. Alex is the best thing that ever happened to me and whilst it wasn’t the best time or under the best circumstances my life revolves around that boy. Want to know why I named him after you dad because even after you treated me the way you did you were still my fucking hero. You took on a four year girl who you didn’t even know existed and changed your whole world around to try and give me a better life'. I hadn’t realised that the others had pulled up and were sitting on their bikes staring at me with shocked looks on their faces til I felt a hand on my shoulder and was turned around to come face to face with uncle Koz and seeing him there willing to stand by me once again I burst into tears and threw my arms around him. I felt him pick me up and start to walk before a door slammed and he sat down still with me in his arms like he used to when I was a kid. He never said a word just held me tight and let me cry against him.

 

Tig slumped back down on the bench and held his head in his hands as the others got off their bikes and came out of the doorway of the club house, it was Gemma who came to sit beside him and simply put her hand on his knee as he silently cried. He never meant to say all the things he did all those years ago but he had been so damn angry when she told him, she was the one thing in his life he always thought he had done right by and her getting pregnant at nineteen hadn’t been part of the plan. He had reacted out of anger never thinking that she was simply scared and all she needed was her dad to comfort her and make everything better. Someone, he wasn’t sure who passed a joint in front of his face which he took without even looking up. After taking a few hits he raised his head, looked between his brothers and was on his feet instantly when he heard Happy say ‘I honestly thought she had an abortion’

‘What the fuck did you just say?’ he screamed as Jax, Opie and Chibs held him back.

‘Shit brother I am sorry, it was one night and when she told me I gave her the money to deal with it, it wasn’t til I came back here months later that I found out what happened and that she had took off. I swear I didn’t’

‘Jesus Christ Hap.’ Clay muttered as Tig was still struggling to get free from the arms that where holding him back. At this point Clay was standing directly in front of Tig and put hands on his shoulders ‘Tig I know you’re pissed off as am I but you can’t kill him, he is still your brother but we settle this like anything else that happens in the family that cant be settled around the table, we take it to the ring brother.’

Tig felt himself deflate somewhat knowing Clay was right and he couldn’t shoot his brother in the head as much as he wanted to. ‘Yeah ok your right we take it to the ring but I can’t be held responsible if I kill him in there but at least I wont shoot him.’ At this the others let him go and he took off his kutte and laid it on the bench before taking his shirt and rings off and walking over to the ring. Clay then turned to Happy and said ‘he deserves to get a few good punches in before you fight back brother’, all Happy did was nod once and put his rings and kutte next to Tig’s and walked over to the ring with the others following him knowing that a few of them were gonna have to step in eventually and pull them apart. 

 

Gemma watched them walk towards the ring before turning on her heel and walking back into the club house to grab the bottle of whiskey, a glass and a joint from her bag. She then walked towards the office to see Lucy and Kozik. She had always known they were close but she didn’t really understand the depth of their bond til she saw him practically jump off his bike before he had turned the engine off to get to Lucy. Even though she was pissed he had never told anyone that he was still in regular contact with her she understood why, when Lucy left Tig was a wreck and refused to speak her name for years and that is why she hadn’t tried to contact her. Clay had warned her that it was between the two of them and that she had to stay out of it. 

She quietly opened the door to see Kozik sitting on the sofa in the corner of her office with Lucy curled up asleep on his lap like she used to when she was little and she couldn’t help the smile that came over her face as she gently shut the door closed, sat in her office chair and turned it to face the two of them. After opening the bottle of whiskey and taking a hit straight from the bottle she passed it over to him silently. After he had a drink he handed it back to her and said ‘I take it from the shouting I just heard that Tig finally knows it wasn’t me.’

‘Yeah, Happy just owned up and they are about to go into the ring cause Clay wouldn’t let him shoot Hap in the head’. All he did was nod as Gemma lit up the joint and took a big draw ‘how long after she left did she contact you Koz?’

‘About two weeks, she went straight to Boston cause her friend Matt from school had moved their for a job, I already knew she was pregnant cause she told me before anyone else. I went up there a few weeks later to go to the hospital with her and she finally told me who the dad was but made me swear to never tell anyone or where she was, so I didn’t. The minute he was born even if she hadn’t told me it would have been obvious, the kid is the mini version of Hap Gem. The only thing he got from her is one blue eye.’

‘Really?’ Gemma asked.

‘Yeah, he has that thing where his eyes are different colours, one nearly black like Hap and one bright blue like her’s and the asshole outside.’ He said carefully reaching into the inside pocket of his kutte and pulling out a photo and handing it to Gemma.

‘Fuck, he really does look like Hap, doesn’t he. His eyes are beautiful though’ she said looking at the picture, it was taken last week when he gone to Boston for Alex’s birthday.

‘It’s called Heterochromia Iridium’ I said as I lifted my head off Kozik’s chest and stood up before taking seat beside him ‘it’s a rare condition. When he was born both eyes were blue but by the time he was a few moths old only one went dark.’ Gemma just nodded at me and handed the picture back to Koz, he put it back in his pocket and stood up ‘You gonna be ok here with Gemma while I go see your old man and Happy fighting it out in the ring?’

I looked at him horrified that they were fighting but I knew it had to happen for them both to be able to get past it so I just nodded and he walked out the door leaving us both in awkward silence before I looked at Gemma and said ‘Come on then Gem I know you have something to say so you might as spit it out whilst its just us two but first pass me that bottle.’

Gemma just smirked at me as she passed the bottle ‘well I can honestly say that for the first time in years I am not quite sure what to say baby. Part of me wants to choke the shit outta you for walking away and leaving us all, cause even after the blow out we are still your family and the other part of me wants to hug you cause you did what you always do and put family first. It’s why you never told anyone here who the dad was and why you walked away, cause you put your son first as any good mother should. After all these years I can’t believe that Piney was right, he always said that the two of you should just fuck and get it out of your system, that’s why you two were always insulting each other whenever he rolled into town. Wait til the old bastard hears about this.’

I couldn’t help but laugh cause Gemma was right about Piney, he really will have a field day with the news when he finds out. I was taking a drink straight from the bottle when Gemma spoke causing me to nearly choke ‘now that the cat is out of the bag what are the chances of me meeting that gorgeous son of yours?’

Once I had stopped coughing I managed to speak ‘Gem as much as love you all and I do, it all depends on how Happy is gonna be about it cause there is no way in hell I am subjecting Alex to meeting someone who is going to break his heart, he knows all about you all though. The pictures I had in my apartment here are up in the house we have in Boston and when he was old enough to ask and understand I told him the truth that we are all family but sometime families argue over shit and don’t speak to each other again. He loves his uncle Koz more than anyone will ever know, he has been one of the few constant people in his life from the day he was born, his middle name is Herman much to Koz’s horror when I told him’ I sniggered and took another drink before passing it to Gemma.

‘He knows about us all?’ she asked in amazement.

‘Of course, just because I moved away and we didn’t speak for a decade doesn’t mean I still don’t love you all even the asshole who is currently kicking Hap’s ass. You were all the one constant I had in my life for fifteen years Gemma, that doesn’t go away just because I put my boy first.’

‘Yeah I know what you mean, but I am telling you now that even if Happy doesn’t want to know Alex you can bet your ass that I will get on a plane and fly to Boston to meet him cause now that I know I have another grand baby out there I have ten years to make up for.’

Neither one of them had heard the door open so both jumped when Clay said ‘how much is that going to cost me Gemma?’ They both just looked at him then each other before busting out in laughter. After closing the door he took a seat next to me, wrapped one arm around my shoulders and pulled me to him as he planted a kiss on my hair. After a few minutes he said ‘I hear you had a run in with the cunt from ATF sweetie.’

‘Yeah I did, turned up at the garage I own and started asking loads of questions about SAMCRO but after I told her that I knew fuck all she tried to get to me through Alex, hence I'm here uncle Clay. The minute that bitch threatened my son I knew that as much as I didn’t want to, I had to come home and let you know, she only knew about me cause dad came to see me when I had my accident. But she is a sly one I’m telling you that bitch is ruthless. Matt had to physically take the wrench outta my hand when she brought up Alex cause I was seconds away from bashing her skull in with it.’

 

‘Thanks sweetie, I know is wasn’t easy for you to come here after everything that happened all those years ago and what you said to Tig when he flew to Boston, but this proves that even though you refused to see him when he came to the hospital the minute you thought that we were in trouble you didn’t hesitate to jump and a plane. Now before you say it was for the kid only we both know that even if the gash hadn’t mentioned him you would still be sitting here. Despite everything we are still your family sweetheart’ he didn’t give me a chance to respond before he dropped a kiss on my head and walked out the door.

I was still looking at the door when Gemma spoke ‘Did you forget just how well he can read people?’

‘Obviously’ I laughed ‘come on Gemma, lets get this over with before I change my mind’ I said getting up and walking towards the door. They both made their way over to the picnic benches where Chibs was busy stitching up a wicked looking cut on Happy’s cheek and the kid that had poured me my first drink was handing my dad bags of ice for his knuckles. Kozik came and stood beside me as I watched them both get patched up, once Chibs had finished the stitches Happy stood and walked straight up to me glaring at me before growling ‘we need to have a chat’.

My back went poker straight and the anger that I had came bubbling to the surface ‘listen here Lowman, remember that I am not some damn crow eater you are talking to, I gave you the option ten years ago and you made your opinion crystal fucking clear, so don’t you fucking dare take out the shit between you and my dad out on me cause believe me I will get in that damn car and go straight back to Boston. Now do you want to talk about this like fucking adults or not?’ He was still glaring at me but just nodded and walked into the club house. I followed him knowing that he would be going to his dorm but I made a detour to the bar to grab us both a couple of beers, knowing I wasn’t going to get through this with another drink but as I hadn’t eaten since this morning I knew more whiskey wasn’t the best idea. He was sitting on the end of his bed with his forehead in both palms as I shut the bedroom door and walked over to the small desk in the corner and turned the chair around to face him.

‘I brought you a beer’ I said after we had sat in silence for a few minutes.

‘Thanks’ was all I got as he looked up at me finally before getting up and started pacing before sitting back on his bed.

‘Before you say anything Hap I want you to know that I don’t expect anything from you, if I hadn’t had the run in with agent cunt we both know I would never have come back here. I have been doing just fine by myself for the last decade and I don’t see that changing’ I said and the next words out of his mouth stopped me in my tracks.

‘Can I meet my son Lucy?’

I was literally speechless, I had expected him to scream and shout at me, berate me for not doing what he pretty much ordered me to do ten years ago. After a few minutes of me looking at him like I had seen a ghost he spoke again ‘Jesus Lucy say something, Kozik showed me the picture of him, I am sorry about how I handled it ten years ago but please let me meet him.’

I mentally shook myself before speaking ‘yeah you can but I am warning you Hap this has to happen on my terms, I will not have you meeting him only to decide you don’t actually want a kid, cause I swear to god I will gut you if you hurt my baby. I am staying til tomorrow so you need to have a good long think about it, you can let me know then and we can arrange it if it’s still something you want. Are we clear?’

He smirked at me before replying ‘ok mama bear, I ain’t gonna hurt your cub but you’re right I will think about it ok.’

I stood up and stood over him ‘Hap he knows who you are cause I have pictures of you all in the house but he hasn’t asked about you in years, so even if you still want to tomorrow I need to talk to him about it too ok?’

‘Yeah I get that Lucy.’

‘I will leave you the beer as I feel ya gonna need it but I gotta go talk to my dad some more before I go back to my hotel’ I said as I walked out the dorm and quietly shut the door behind me.

I waked back out to the bar area and everyone but my dad and Kozik were sitting around talking but all went silent as I walked in ‘what?’ I asked.

‘Do we need to go remove the body?’ Clay asked with a straight face.

‘What the fuck are you all talking about?’ I asked puzzled.

It was Opie who said ‘you do realise that we have never seen anyone talk to him like that when he has the murder look on his face right?’

After I finished laughing at their expressions I said ‘what you all fail to realise that I have been dealing with that exact look for the last ten years but its usually about teeth brushing and homework.’

‘Holy shit there are two of them now’ Clay muttered causing me to start laughing again.

‘Gemma want to see some pictures of Alex when he was little and gave the same look, its hilarious on a eight month old.’

‘Oh hell yeah I do.’

‘Just let me get my laptop outta the car then’ I said walking towards the door.

‘Just give the prospect your keys and he will get your bags, there is already a dorm set up for you’ Clay said giving me the look he used to when I was a bratty teenager and was about to argue with him. I simply nodded and went and sat opposite both him and Gemma next to Jax.

The prospect had just handed me my back pack and was taking my duffel to my dorm when I saw Bobby walk out of the kitchen. He stood there with an apron on and pot holders on his hands when he said ‘erm Lucy, since I am making you food how about you come here and hug me’ I just smiled at him as I walked over and threw my arms around him as he squeezed me back.

As I was pulling my laptop outta my bag I asked where my dad and Koz were and Jax informed me that they had gone for a ride together but had both said that they would be back soon. I knew that as pissed as my dad was about Koz not mentioning it he also knew I was serious about what I had said too. 

I quickly found my file with all the photos on, handed my laptop to Gemma as Jax got up to sit on the arm of the sofa. Opie walked to stand next to Jax and they started looking through them.

After about thirty minutes Bobby started to come out of the kitchen carrying platters of food and it wasn’t til I got a whiff of the food that I realised just how hungry I was, but just as I was about get to up and help I heard the Skype app on my laptop ring. Gemma handed me my laptop back and when I answered it Alex face appeared on the screen grinning at me.

‘Hi baby, how was school?’ I asked knowing that by the clock on my laptop it was just after two pm here so it was just after five there and Matt had picked him up, then taken him to his kickboxing class.

‘It was good mom, but kick boxing was awesome, plus Matt said we can have something super unhealthy for dinner cause he is in charge and you cant say shit about it.’ he cackled causing the four people opposite me to burst out laughing as well as me.

‘Sounds like uncle Matt. Hey baby speaking of uncles, how would you like to see some more?’

‘Are they there mom?’ he asked as his eyes lit up with excitement as I nodded and turned the laptop around then put it on the table before standing up and walking to sit on the arm next to Clay.

‘Hey baby I would like you to meet..’ was all I managed before Alex started talking over me.

‘You’re Clay, you’re Gemma, you’re Jax and you’re Opie’ he said pointing to them causing us all to laugh. ‘My mom was right Opie you’re really tall. Is it true that when you were little you used to roll around in manure and that’s why your so fucking massive?’

All five of us lost it then even though Opie was trying to glare at me through his laughter.

‘Mom is my granddad there?’ he asked biting his bottom lip. I was not sure how to reply when Clay spoke ‘sorry little man he and your uncle Koz had to do a job for me but should be back soon. How about you go eat your unhealthy shit and your mom can call you later when the both of them get back. How does that sound?’

‘That would be awesome uncle Clay thanks. Right Mom I’m gonna go eat my weight it crap but I will call back in a few hours, love ya.’ Before I could even reply he had hung up.

‘Well I gotta say Luce for all he looks like Hap he definitely talks more.’ Opie said walking towards the bar before asking ‘who wants a beer?’ as Bobby came once again out of the kitchen putting another platter of food down and declaring that we could dig in as he was finished.

We were all still sitting around laughing and eating when Tig and Koz walked into the club house laughing at something. Koz headed straight for the food but Tig came over to me and asked if we could go outside and talk some more. We were sitting facing each other at the same bench he was sitting on earlier when I started to speak ‘dad listen, I know we need to talk more about everything but can we try and do it without screaming at each this time?’

‘Yeah baby I think that is a good idea cause after twenty five minutes in the ring earlier with Hap my head is killing me.’ he smirked at me ‘I want you to know Lucy just how fucking sorry I am about all the shit I said to you all those years ago. I know I keep saying it but Christ I really am. I know I’m an asshole but I really want you back in my life, Alex too.’

‘Yeah I agree and I’m sorry too dad.’

‘You have nothing to be sorry about, this is all on me. I get why you took off the way you did but next time I’m that much of a dick try and talk to me cause I'm damned if I’m gonna lose anymore time with you ok?’

I couldn’t help the tears that ran down my face as he quickly stood up and pulled me to him, giving me the comfort that I had so desperately missed these last ten years. We simply stood there hugging but parted when the club house doors opened and Chibs told dad that Clay had called for church in five minutes. Once he went inside to join the others Gemma came out with a plate of food for me and sat opposite me on the bench.

‘So tell me’ she asked ‘is there anyone special Lucy? Kozik mentioned uncle Matt again. Are you his old lady?’

‘Not at all Gemma, we met in college even though he was a few years ahead of me. When I decided to leave Charming I called him and asked him if I could crash with him for a few days. Well, a few days turned into years and he helped me so much in the beginning. I managed to transfer to a college up there but deferred the first semester of my third year to look after Alex. We lived together til I graduated and by that point I had already managed to save some money from the custom bike business I had started. So, I bought a house and within a year we had opened the garage together with him concentrating on the car side of it and me the bikes. Who knew growing up in a garage would come in so handy?’ I couldn’t help but smirk at her.

‘I always knew you were too smart to be just a grease monkey, but I’m so proud of everything you have done. Now back to the main reason I wanted to talk without all them listening’ she said gesturing to the club house behind her. ‘What did Happy say?’

‘Well he wants to meet Alex but I told him to really think about it before I leave tomorrow cause I will not have him playing with his emotions. Alex knows that he is his dad but that he has never seen him since I left when I was pregnant. Although he is smart and mature for his age I didn’t tell him about the money he gave me to get an abortion. He doesn’t ever need to know about that. I simply told him that me and dad argued and I felt it was best that I moved away to start again with just him and me.’

‘Yeah that is something he doesn’t need to know, how did ya talk with Tig go, have both realised you are both far to stubborn?’

‘Pretty much Gemma, I have been angry for so long but I didn’t realise just how much I have missed you all til I arrived today.’ 

‘I can understand that sweetheart, but hopefully now that you and Tig have talked we can start to be a family again. When does summer vacation start for Alex?’

‘Two weeks, but Gemma I am not making any promises til I have talked to him about it, as much as I want him to meet you all he has to be ok with everything, especially Happy’

‘I get that’ she said just as Tig and the other’s came out of the club house and sat around us on the remaining bench’s. Happy sat the furthest away from me and never said anything but I could feel his eyes on me when I was talking to the others.

About an hour later I felt my phone vibrate in my pocket and pulled it out to see I had a message from Alex asking if I could Skype him again and would Tig be there too. I passed my phone to Tig who after reading it stood up and said we could go into his dorm room and do it from there.

I put my laptop on the small table in the corner and sat on the chair whilst Tig went into the bathroom and came out with a small stool then sat down bedside me but a little off to my left as I opened the app.

It only rang once before Alex’s face appeared on the screen. ‘Hi mom, I am so full, I ate a whole pizza to myself’ I could see him rubbing his tummy as he laughed.

‘I bet you are sweetie, are you in bed?’ I asked

‘Yeah uncle Matt is just sorting out the brood before they come in here to sleep.’

‘Well I have someone here who would like to say hello to you if you are awake enough’ I asked as he straight up in bed and grinned at me. I moved the laptop a little so he could see Tig sitting there.

‘Hey, you’re Tig, my granddad, I’m Alex.’

‘Hey, yeah I am.’

‘Mom said that I could call you Tig but to use Grandad when you are trying to impress the ladies so that you look creepy’ he said causing me and Tig to laugh.

‘Hey sweetie' I said getting his attention, ‘I’m just gonna be outside whilst you talk to Tig here but when it’s time for bed he will bring the laptop to me so we can say goodnight. That ok with you?’

‘Yeah mom’ he said as he looked at Tig and rolled his eyes. 

As I closed the dorm room behind me I noticed Happy standing there ‘hey Hap you ok?’

‘Not really sure to be honest Luce. My whole life just changed.’

‘I get that but remember what I said earlier, you have to be sure. I won’t hold it against you if you decide against it. I mean you went ten years not knowing about him’

‘Yeah but I know now and the way I handled things when you told me was really shitty.’

‘You can’t live with regret Hap, trust me I know. When I go home to Boston tomorrow I will talk to him about it. He knew that when I came here today that it was Tig I was coming to talk to. Koz told me that you were here but I never mentioned that to him as I didn’t know how you were going to react about it from being angry, so I didn’t want to get his hopes up,’

‘Yeah I can understand that. I have a personal cell that I use for my mom but I will give you the number before you leave so you can get in contact with me after you talk to him.’

‘Sounds like a plan Hap. I’m not sure about you but after a day like today and with me being child free for the night I am going to get myself a drink.’

He smirked at me walked back to his dorm and went inside. After getting myself a drink I went outside to sit with the others. After a few minutes Tig came outside carrying my laptop. When it was on the table everyone crowded round me so there could see Alex again.

It was Chibs who said ‘Jesus is that a fucking wolf behind you’ causing Alex to snort out a laugh

‘No’ I said ‘that’s Buster and he is a English Mastiff we rescued two years ago, Alex turn your tablet round and show them the rest of your brood.’ He did slowly as he was still laughing about Chib’s comment. Now they could see the two pit bulls and a Great Dane we had all lying in a pile at the bottom of his bed.

‘Christ how big is his fucking bed?’ Opie asked.

I laughed this time and Alex said ‘Mom got me a new king size when we rescued Darcy cause she is still only a puppy and hasn’t finished growing yet.’

‘Right baby, its time for you to have your reading hour. What book have you decided on now?’

‘I haven’t decided yet but I think I am gonna start one of the ones uncle Koz bought me’ he said looking at said uncle and grinning.

‘Ok, well you have a good night and I will be there tomorrow night ok? Love you.’

‘I love you too mom, night everyone.’

After a chorus of goodnights from everyone I turned to Kozik. ‘Should I even ask how many books you loaded onto that kindle you gave him.’

‘I have no idea what your talking about.’ Was all he said as he turned and walked into the clubhouse. We sat around talking for a few more hours but by nine when Gemma and Clay said that they were heading home I decided that I needed so sleep after the day I’d had. So, after giving everyone hugs and Gemma promising me that she would be here earlier in the morning to help make breakfast with Bobby. I crawled into bed after showering still not sure how I felt about being back in Charming after all these years.

TIG  
After Lucy had decided to call it a night I went back into my dorm room after grabbing a bottle of Jack from the bar. I sat myself on the end of my bed with the bottle between my feet as I simply stared at the wall in front of me. I knew I fucked up ten years ago screaming at her the way I did especially slapping her but I was honest when he told her that she was the best thing I had ever done with my life, I loved my other daughters I really did but I had never bonded with them like I did with Lucy. It had been a shock when I was told that I had a four year daughter I knew nothing about and that if I wasn’t willing to take her that she would go into the system for the next fourteen years. I did it without hesitation even though I didn’t have a clue how to raise a kid never mind a girl. Kozik had immediately said that we could move into his house with him as it was bigger than my shitty one bedroom apartment. He really was my best friend with us both patching over together to the mother charter at the same time from Tacoma. After I had met Colleen and got her pregnant with the twins we had tried for a year to be a family, even with the two of us moving into her house just before the twins were born, but that lasted about eleven months before she decided that she couldn’t deal with the club and the life of being an old lady. She took off during the night leaving just me and Lucy again when she was nine years old. Lucy had never really liked Colleen and had loved her little sisters however, she was over the moon after we had moved back in with Kozik again telling me that it was great to have her real family back together under one roof.

Seeing her again today had very nearly taken me off my feet as she stepped out of the car ranting about the ATF gash. I had seen her once in ten years when the hospital had rang me to say that she had been in an serious car crash and that it didn’t look good for her. Without a thought I had booked the first flight out I could to Boston. Once I reached the hospital I was told that she had come out of the coma herself and that it was likely that she would make a full recovery. I watched her sleep for twelve hours and met her friend Matt before she opened her eyes and looked directly at me. It seemed to take her a few minutes to realise who she was actually looking at before she told me clearly to get the fuck out of her room and go back to Charming before closing her eyes again. Matt suggested that I get a hotel room that was across from the hospital and come back tomorrow and try and talk to her again. I simply nodded my head and walked out of the room. Still in complete shock that I was seeing her again after a decade. The next day when I went back into her hospital room was when I was pretty sure that I would never see my daughter again after having to be physically remove from her room by security.

 

Flashback 

When he walked down the hall towards her room and stopped at the door he could see she was awake properly this time and sitting up in bed before he walked in.

He walked in and she simply looked at him for a few seconds before saying ‘what the hell Tig? I thought you would back in Charming and be balls deep in some skank by now, I told you yesterday that I didn’t want you here!’ 

‘Jesus Christ Lucy I got a call not forty eight hours ago saying that you might not live through the night of course I would be here’.

She simply scoffed and rolled her eyes before clutching a hand to her bandaged head. ‘Really dad is that all it takes for you to want to see me again, well fuck you. I have been perfectly fine these last ten years without you so please do us both a favour and go home to your real family. I don’t want you here’

He couldn’t help the rage that over came him at being scared out of his mind that he would never get to apologise to her for all the shit he said ten years ago. ‘FUCKING HELL LUCY I MADE A MISTAKE, DOESN’T MEAN THAT I DON’T LOVE YOU WE ARE FUCKING FAMILY, OF COURSE I CAME WHEN THEY CALLED, THEY SAID THAT YOU MIGHT NOT MAKE IT THROUGH THE FUCKING NIGHT. JESUS CHRIST!’

‘Really Tig family? Abandoning me ten years ago pretty much cut all fucking ties on us being a family. I got the message real quick that they were all your family and not mine. I was just the responsibility that got passed around it whilst I was living in Charming. I have a family here now that doesn’t include you or anyone from there so please just leave.’

A nurse came into the room at this point glaring at Tig before demanding to know what the hell was going on. Neither of them said anything to busy glaring at each other ‘sir I think it would be best for you to leave, she needs to rest and you screaming at her is not conductive with that.’ When he spun back and turned his glare on her she visibly shrunk and took a step back before saying she was calling security and all but scuttled back out of the room.

‘Please Tig my head is killing me, just go home I don’t want you here and you made it perfectly clear all those years ago what you really thought about me. I have made an amazing life for myself here and I think its best if we both just get back to pretending that we don’t know each other anymore.’

What killed him the most about what she said was the fact that she didn’t scream at him like she used to, she wouldn’t even look at him, simply stared at the wall over his shoulder and it was said in such a flat emotionless voice that he picked up the thing nearest to him which happened to be a vase full of flowers and threw it against the wall to his right as four guards came into the room and wrestled him out of it as she continued to look at the wall.

 

I was brought back out of thinking of her looking so broken lying in a hospital bed by someone knocking on my door. I never moved just shouted what and wasn’t surprised when it opened and I saw Koz walk in shut the door behind him and come and sit next to my feet of the floor. Neither of us said a word for a good ten minutes just passed the bottle back and forth between us. When Koz had demanded earlier that we go for a ride and we pulled into a clearing ten minutes outside of Charming, Koz had simply sat on his bike as I had got off mine and paced and smoked for thirty minutes before practically pulling him off his bike to give him a hug and saying “thank you brother’ before getting back on my bike. Even after ten years of not talking and throwing insults at each other whenever our paths crossed Koz still knew when I needed to get away from everything for a while to get my head on straight.

It was me who spoke first ‘I meant what I said earlier, thank you.’

‘I didn’t do it for you but you’re welcome. When she left and you were still convinced it was me who knocked her up, she called about two weeks later. She told me where she was but made me promise not to tell not just you but anybody here. I asked Clay for a few days and he agreed cause he was sick of the tension between us. After I got to Boston and saw just what state she was in I knew then that I was going to ask Lee to be patched back into Tacoma to be there for them both but not to have to explain when I was leaving a few times a year. Lee knew that it was something to do with the whole situation but never asked about it even after all these years, would simply state that the family we had was the most important thing. Got to be honest though it still pisses me off that you would think it was me above anyone else. I have always loved her like a daughter, she is probably as close to one as I am ever going to get you asshole’ he finished with a laugh.

‘Should have known that if she was going to contact anyone from here it would have been you. I’m just glad she wasn’t alone, I know she had Matt but I mean someone from here. Shit I have missed so much. I’m such an asshole’ I said pulling a joint from inside my kutte and lighting it.

‘She never said anything after the first few months but I know she missed you, especially when Alex got a little older and started doing stuff that reminded her of you. For all he looks like Hap and is so much like him in a lot of ways he’s like the pair of you both too, especially when it comes to defending and protecting her. Wait til you meet him properly dude and I know you will. The kid is awesome and he is so much like her when she was his age. Remember when she punched that kid who was giving the younger kids shit, he did the exact same thing a few months ago but it was even worse cause he gets the same look on his face as Hap does. His face goes completely blank and he clenches his jaw the same way. Its really freaky when the kid is barely over five feet tall’ he said causing them to both laugh.

‘Right, I’m going to bed cause I have to leave to go back Tacoma in the morning, after I yell at Luce for not calling me about the gash turning up at the garage to give her shit that is’ Koz said as he got up and left the dorm for his own.

I finished my joint and decided to do the same and I simply pulled off my kutte and my boots and fell backwards onto my bed still fully clothed.


	2. chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I should have put this in the first chapter but I am jut going to put it here, I am have dyslexia so any spelling and grammar mistakes are all mine, word can only do so much. i have no beta so it's all me so i apologise in advance. i will hopefully be posting once a week maybe more if I really get into it.

I really wasn’t surprised when I woke up at three am the next morning, with the time difference it didn’t shock me. So after a shower I decided that I may as well get up. I went to sit outside on the benches and enjoy the heat of California even at this early hour. I hadn’t been sitting very long when I heard the door behind me open. ‘Mind if I sit?’ I heard Happy rasp as he came and sat opposite me without waiting for me to answer him. He pulled out a pack of smokes from his sweats and offered me one, which I took even though it had been years since I had smoked but I knew I was gonna need the nicotine in my system if he wanted to talk. ‘So I spoke to my mom about everything’ he said after lighting his smoke and mine.

‘Oh yeah, how did that go?’

‘Well after she finished cursing me out in such rapid Spanish that I missed every other word, she helped me see things from your point of view. By the way she wants to know if she can have your number so she can call you too’ he smirked at me when I groaned.

‘Well I always did get on well with her whenever she came to see you when you were here. Did it help Hap talking to her?’

‘Yeah it did. She has always been good at talking me off the ledge. I meant what I said earlier or yesterday I really do want to meet him.’

‘Well he will be on summer break soon so I will talk to him tonight and explain that instead of our usual trip that maybe we could come here for a few weeks, but it really does depend on how he feels. I won’t push him into something he isn’t ready for.’

‘Yeah I get that, I just want to meet him. I know that I ain’t gonna be a dad to him straight away, or at all really, something else my mom helped me see.’

‘You don’t have to be Hap, simply be his friend. He knows who you all are, I never hid it from him. He knows Tig came to see me when I had the accident but just that we argued and he came home. He is so much like you though, he never stops looking around and picks up on things that people don’t say just by looking at them.’

‘Will you tell me about him?’

‘Sure Hap, what do you want to know?’

‘Koz showed me the pictures he has in his Kutte.’

‘The birthday ones?’ I asked and he nodded. ‘He has always been there for us both and like I told Tig I won’t apologise for it. He has always been my rock since I was four years old and I was pretty much dumped on Tig right over there.’ I said pointing to the rolling doors of the garage behind us.

‘I didn’t mean it like that Lucy.’

‘Sorry.’ I said looking down at the bench before looking back up at him. ‘When I got to Boston I was a mess but after a few weeks I contacted Koz and told him where I was. He said he would be up soon to see me after he promised not to tell anyone where I was. He came to the hospital with me and was there within two days of Alex being born. Sorry that isn’t what you asked. Alex is amazing Hap and I know all mothers think that about their kids but its true. He is really smart and is super protective of those he cares about. He can be really quiet which he got from you cause we both know it wasn’t from me.’ I looked at him then and we both smirked ‘but once he knows and trusts someone he talks a mile a minute. He loves to read and has been helping me in the garage since he was six and can pretty much tell you what is wrong with a bike just by listening to the engine. He loves to draw and loves animals but especially dogs, which is why he currently has four curled up in bed with him. He is not really into sports but loves his kick boxing, he has been doing it since he was five and is a purple belt.’

‘Wow, he sounds like a great kid’ Happy said as he lit another cigarette, he looked deep in thought as he stared out into the darkness of the lot.

‘He really is Hap. Well since I am up and it is already after four am I am gonna go and start breakfast. I have to leave here about ten thirty to get to the airport for my flight home and I don’t eat on planes.’ I said getting up and making my way back into the clubhouse.

By seven thirty when Gemma walked into the kitchen I already had four dozen muffins made, two platters of pancakes, three massive baskets of breakfast rolls made and was currently frying enough bacon to give us all heart disease. ‘Jesus Christ Lucy, how long have you been up?’ she asked leaning against the counter with the coffee I had just handed her.

‘Since three cause of the time difference and started cooking about four after my chat with Happy.’ I said pulling the first load of bacon out of the pan and transferring it to the tray to go into the warming oven. ‘We both know that I have always loved to cook thanks to you and Bobby, plus my dad and Kozik could set the kitchen on fire without even cooking in it.’

‘Yeah that’s true, need me to do anything?’ she asked.

‘Could you crack those four dozen eggs into a bowl ready for scrambling? Once all the bacon is done I will start that and you can round everyone up.’

‘Sure sweetheart, I have to ask though, how did it go with tall dark and growly?’ She said as she started to crack the eggs.

‘It went fine, we talked more about Alex and that he still wants to meet him. He talked to his mom and says that it helped. I told him that I will talk to Alex tonight and see if he wants to come here on summer break instead of us taking our usual trip but it all depends on him. We usually go somewhere just the two of us for two or three weeks depending on how busy the garage is. This year I have already cleared three full weeks but we hadn’t decided where we wanted to go yet so coming here is still an option.’

‘That would be great Luce’ she said stopping whisking to fully turn to look at me.

‘Yeah Gem I think your right but like I said I have to talk to him. I am not going to force it if he’s is not ready. It is going to be a massive thing for him, not just meeting all of you but his dad as well.’

‘Yeah I get that sweetheart’ she said pulling me into a sideways hug before telling me she was gonna go start knocking on doors and waking the ones that slept here last night.

Thirty minutes later the clubhouse was full of all the people I had missed over the last ten and a half years. I found myself sitting between Tig and Kozik and couldn’t help but smile as I looked around the table at Clay, Gemma, Jax, Opie, Bobby, Happy, Pinie, Chibs and Juice. When Pinie had arrived he came straight over to me and pulled me into a hug and whispered to me ‘I always knew it would happen eventually, glad to have you back Loulou.’ He was the only one to ever call me that from the first day I arrived and I couldn’t help but give him an extra squeeze when he said it again after all these years. We sat around and talked for over an hour as we ploughed our way through all the food I had cooked before I realised that I would have to leave here. It would be a lot harder than I ever felt it would be. I had fully expected when I turned up yesterday that I would speak to Tig, tell him exactly what had happened as well as what I thought about him after over ten years of silence between us, then I would cry myself to sleep in some shitty motel before going home to my son and never step foot again in Charming. Part of me really hoped that Alex would want to come here in a few weeks to finally meet the extended family he had missed out on cause it felt really good to be back here, but like I had explained I wouldn’t push him if he wasn’t ready. We would do this at Alex’s pace no matter how much I missed this. Kozik had said that he would ride with me to the airport before making his way back to Tacoma and he had told me straight that if something like the ATF coming around again didn’t at least mean I rang him he was gonna kill me. I just smirked and hugged him knowing just how full of shit he was. 

Gemma told me to leave the clearing up as the crow eaters would do it when they arrived later in the day so I made my way to the dorm I had slept in last night to grab my bags. I was just zipping up my laptop when I heard someone knock on the frame and turned to see Happy leaning in the doorway. ‘Here Lucy, this is my personal cell, maybe you could ring me later and let me know what Alex thinks about coming here. It doesn’t about the time difference’ he said handing me a piece of paper with his number on it as well as his mom’s.

‘Thanks Happy’ I said taking the paper and pulling my cell out to put it in straight away and as I sat on the bed called him so he would have my number as well. ‘I am gonna talk to Alex first and see what he thinks about everything before I even think about ringing your mom Hap. I know that sounds like I am putting it off but I have to put him first and if he doesn’t want to come here yet everyone is just going to have to deal with it.’

He pushed off the doorway and did something I never thought he would do with our history. He came and sat beside me after pushing the door closed and pulled me to him with an arm around my shoulder, I couldn’t help but lean into him, ‘Lucy I completely understand as does my mom. She said last night that a sign of a good mother is someone who puts there kid’s needs above anything else, which from what you have told me you have always done. So don’t worry about it and if anyone of them gives you shit ring me and I will sort it out from this end ok?’ he said giving my shoulder another squeeze before getting back up and walking towards the door but before he could reach for the handle I spoke. ‘Hey Hap?’ He turned to look back at me. ‘Thanks and I think that is the longest sentence I have ever heard you say to me without you calling me a bitch in all the years I have known you.’ I smirked at him. He simply smirked back and walked out of the door. I finished making sure I hadn’t left anything and made my way back out to the main club house to find it empty. I walked outside to see Gemma and Clay waiting for me but before I could ask where the others had gone I noticed that the others were all leaning against there bikes, my dad started to make his way towards me. ‘Hey sweetheart we thought we would give you an escort to the airport.’

‘Really Dad, I will be fine. Kozik is gonna ride with me it really isn’t necessary.’

‘Don’t care, it’s happening’ was all he said as he made his way back to his bike.

I turned back to Gemma and Clay with a look as if it say really but they just both smirked at me before Clay spoke. ‘Lucy just let him do this for you. He missed out these last ten years plus Hap said he was riding regardless if anyone else was and it’s a quiet day so the others decided to join them. Tig isn’t the only one that missed you.’ He pulled me into a hug before making his way to his bike leaving me with Gemma.

‘Did you really expect anything else baby?’ she asked a slight smirk still on her face.

‘I should have figured huh?’

‘Pretty much, now listen I want a call when you get home and one tomorrow after you have spoke to Alex, we will take it from there ok?’

‘Yeah ok Gem, thanks for everything. It was you I was dreading seeing the most.’ I admitted honestly with a matching smirk as she pulled me into a hug and whispered that she loved me before stepping back. I could only nod at her as I made my way over to my rental car, putting my bags into the back seat and heard Clay say that him and Jax would take the front with Tig and Happy either side, the rest taking the back. I couldn’t help but shake my head, I had been fine these last ten years and one night back here and suddenly I needed an armed escort back to the airport.

The two hour ride back toward the airport went a lot quicker than yesterday but that might have had something to do with my dad being right by my side pretty much the whole way there. When I pulled the car back into the rental place at the airport I saw that all of them had parked in the usual line causing people to stop and stare. Discreet was something that they could never be called, causing me to laugh at the young kid behind the counter as I handed my rental keys back over. He stuttered his way through giving me a receipt not taking his eyes of the line of bikers looking at him through the window. As I made my way outside and walked towards them all I was pulled into a hug first by Jax then Opie, the others followed before I made my way to uncle Kozik who grabbed my hand and pulled me further away so the others couldn’t hear us. ‘You sure your alright sweetheart?’ he asked looking into my eyes.

‘I’m fine Koz, I promise.’

‘So I am guessing that it wasn’t what you where expecting when you landed yesterday then huh?’

‘Not at all but I honestly have missed them all, even tall dark and grumpy.’ I laughed as he did.

‘Well I expect a text when you land cause I will still be riding but I will call you tomorrow to check in properly. Remember what I said about calling me if anything else like this happens again ok?’ he said pulling me into his arms and squeezing me.

‘I will and thanks for everything uncle Koz.’ he just nodded at me and we made our way back to the others as he nodded to Tig and climbed back onto his bike. My dad just pulled me to him and said into my hair that he wanted a call when I landed and that he loved me, but didn’t release me straight away. I could felt my eyes fill up but refused to cry so pushed him back after I told him that I loved him too and I wouldn’t forget to call. Happy was the only one left but given our history I simply stood in front of him. Neither of us made to hug each other, it just wasn’t us so I simply told him I would call when I had spoken to Alex and let him know. I got a nod in response but I could see his jaw ticking as he ground his teeth together before he turned back to his bike and got on. I turned before going through the doors of the airport to see them all still sitting there on the bikes so I simply waved once and made my way to the check in, knowing that if I looked back again at my dad I was going to start crying like a fool and I couldn’t let myself do that with them watching me.

Somehow I managed to keep a lid on my emotions until we were in the air but looking out the window as we took off from California it seemed to get to me more than seeing them all again, so when the sweet old lady who was sitting next to me simply opened her purse and handed me a tissue caused the tears to come quicker and bless her she just squeezed my hand and let me cry silently for the next thirty minutes. When the stewardess came round asking if either of us needed a drink I insisted on buying us both a strong drink not caring that it was only two in the afternoon. When we where both handed our drinks, me a double whisky and her a glass of white wine she asked if I was ok and I ended up telling her what had gone down over the last few days, leaving out the visit from the AFT just saying that I felt it was time to go home and see my dad to try and reconnect after a little over a decade. We ended up talking and sharing a few more drinks for the remainder of the flight and she told me about her boys and how after a falling out she hadn’t spoken to her oldest son for close to fifteen years but had reconnected like I had a few years back and that it was all water under the bridge now. Once we landed she hugged me after we got off the plane and wished me luck with my family as we parted ways. I got my bags and went to stand in line for a taxi home, desperate to see my baby even if it had only been a few days. In the cab I texted them all in a mass message saying that I had landed and that I was in a cab on my way back home.

Thirty five minutes later saw the cab pull up to my house, as I paid and was getting out the door opened and Alex ran down the path to hug me before pulling me into the house to greet Matt as well as the dogs. Matt said that he was going to go home and let me catch up with Alex but would talk to me tomorrow at the garage, but the way he looked at me I knew that tomorrow he wanted to know everything that had happened when I was in Charming, so I just nodded my head at him and hugged him before he left us. We walked into the kitchen and I told Alex I would order us some Chinese food for supper but he needed to shower first and then we could sit and talk about everything. He grumbled but stood and made his way upstairs as I ordered our food and then made my way upstairs with my bag to have a shower to get rid of the plane smell I hated so much.

An hour later saw us both sitting on the floor in our sweats resting our back against the sofa as we ate our food ‘so little man I know you have questions.’ I said as I put my container and chop sticks on the table in front of us and turned to look at him. He did the same and we looked at each other before he asked ‘was Happy there mom?’

‘Yeah he was baby and I told him all about you. He would really like to meet you, they all would.’

‘Really, he wants to meet me?’ he said not bothering to mention the others but his eyes lit up at the knowledge.

‘Yeah Alex he does, I mean he was shocked when he found out but we talked a lot about you and he really does.’

‘That would be so cool mom, plus meeting the others too but he’s my dad.’

‘Yes he is,’

‘Tig said last night that he wants to meet me too when you left us to talk’ he said.

‘How do you feel about that cause I told them all that we had to take it at your pace and that if you felt like it was too much, calls and Skype sessions would have to do for now.’

‘I think I really like the idea but maybe could uncle Koz be there when I do?’ he asked as he bit his bottom lip looking unsure for the first time since we started talking. I pulled him to me and wrapped my arm around him and kissed his hair. ‘Baby I am sure he would, you know how much he loves you. I was thinking that instead of our usual three week vacation we could go to Charming for it and you could meet them all then if you feel your ready for it.’

He pulled out from under my arm to look at me again with a massive smile on his face ‘mom I think that is an awesome idea. Could we really?’ he asked. I just nodded as he launched himself at me and threw his arms around my neck hugging me. We sat like that for nearly an hour til I realised that his breathing had evened out and he had fallen asleep on me like he used to when he was little. I managed to pick him up and carry him upstairs to his bed and then back downstairs to sort out the trash and the dogs so they could sleep in his room knowing that when that was done I would ring Happy and let him know. It was nearly eleven pm here so I knew it was still early there but hopefully the usual Friday night party hadn’t gotten too out of control yet.

 

Happy

After seeing Lucy make it safely into the airport we all got on our bikes but I told Clay that if he didn’t need me for anything I was gonna go to Bakersfield and spend the weekend with ma. He told me that I could take the weekend and he would only ring me if it was an emergency. I made the turning about an hour later and made my way to talk to the one person I could always tell exactly how I was feeling, plus Kozik had given me a few of the pictures of Alex he had in his kutte that I knew ma would love to see. As I pulled my bike up into the drive I was grateful that my aunt’s car wasn’t there, even though ma had been in remission for the last few years my aunt still called nearly everyday to check in much to ma’s displeasure. She hated being coddled even when she had cancer. I had just turned off my bike when I saw her walk onto the porch and smile at me. I got off my bike and made my way towards her. I didn’t say anything just pulled her to me to hug her. We made our way into the house going straight into the kitchen, it had always been our place to sit and talk about shit. She went to the fridge and pulled out two beers handing me one as she sat down opposite me and opened her’s smirking at me. ‘So want to tell me more about my grandson?’ she asked as she took a pull from her beer and I pulled out the pictures from my kutte and handed them over to her.

She looked at them for a few minutes and when she looked at me I could see tears in her eyes even though she was smiling at me. ‘Well he certainly is your son Hap. He is beautiful especially his eyes.’

‘Yeah I know, its a little freaky how much he looks like me ma.’

‘How you feeling about everything today baby?’

I couldn’t help the grin at her calling me that even now at nearly forty years old, if my brothers heard it I would never hear the end of it. ‘I am not really sure ma, I mean for fucks sake I have a ten year old son I never knew existed til yesterday. I am still not sure how the hell I am meant to get my head around it but I still want to met him.’ I said as I drained my beer and got up to get another one but ended up pacing the length of ma’s kitchen. ‘He might not even want to meet me, he has gone ten years without meant now suddenly he has this whole extended family. Lucy said that he knows all about us but just fuck!’ I stopped pacing to grip the counter and let my head drop.

I felt my ma’s hand on my back as she guided me back to the chair I had been sitting on. She went to the cupboard above the stove and got a bottle down then two glasses and came back over to the table. ‘Hap like I said last night on the phone Lucy did what she thought was right when she left, especially after you told me how you reacted to the news she was pregnant. She put her child first above her own happiness and that is a great sign of an amazing mother. She has always told him about you all from what you said so why wouldn’t he want to meet you all but especially you. You are his dad but it isn’t going to happen over night. All you can do is get to know him and be his friend. It will happen but it isn’t going to be immediately. These things take time but you are going to have more patience than you ever had before.’ she said pouring us both a large glass of whiskey and pushed one over to me as I pulled out my smokes and lit one.

‘Lucy said the same thing to me, I know you’re both right, it’s just a lot to take in. She said she would call when she got home, after she spoke to him about everything. Even mentioned that when school ends in a few weeks that instead of going on some random vacation they always take that maybe the both of them would come and spend a few weeks in Charming instead but in depends on Alex.’

‘She sounds like a smart woman Hap’ she smirked at me again.

‘Yeah like someone else I know’ I couldn’t help but smirk back.

‘I went out this morning and bought some steaks, you can grill them later for us.’

‘How did you know I would be here ma?’ I asked.

‘Because as much as you hate it my boy, I really do know you best and I knew that before it was dark and you were able to get away you would come home to talk to me.’ She said as she got up to get me an ashtray.

A few hours later saw us both sitting on the back porch after eating the steaks, we were still drinking the whiskey. Ma pulled out a joint for us to share as we sat and watched the sun starting to set not needing to talk. She knew that even at my age and everything I had done and was capable of doing I needed the peace and quiet that I only ever got when I turned up here. We were still sitting in silence together when I heard my cell phone ring in my jeans pocket, but it wasn’t my prepay it was the one I used for ma and Lucy was the only other person with the number.

‘Hey Lucy’ I said as I answered and my ma nodded at me and made her way back inside leaving me to talk in private.

‘Hey Hap, hope I am not interrupting the Friday night party.’

‘No I’m not in Charming. I came to see ma.’

‘Sorry I can call you tomorrow’ she said

‘No it’s fine, just needed someone to talk about everything with and that’s her.’

‘Oh, well if your sure you have time to talk Hap.’

‘I am, how was your flight, you get home ok?’

‘Yeah it was fine. Listen I spoke to Alex when I got home about everything and he is really excited to meet you. He wants to come to Charming for our vacation if that is still something you want.’

‘Really? Yeah, I mean I am still not sure how to be someone’s dad but like you and ma said I have to be his friend first right.’

‘Exactly Hap, I mean don’t expect him to call you dad at first, he has always called you Happy but he knows you are his dad.’

‘I can understand that, when are you thinking of coming down then?’ I asked wanting to change the subject. I still couldn’t get my head around the fact that I was actually some kid’s father.

‘Well, he finishes school in two weeks and I have the first three weeks off, so I was thinking we could catch a flight out on the Saturday and take it from there. I will need to sort somewhere out to stay cause there is no way in hell he is sleeping in those dorms.’ she laughed down the phone and I couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped at the horror I could hear in her tone.

‘You could stay at my house.’ I offered without even thinking about it.

‘What?’

‘Listen, I have a three bedroomed house in Charming. You could both stay there and I will move into the dorms for however long you’re here for.’

‘Shit Happy, I can’t kick you outta your house, I can just rent us a room at the motel on the outskirts of town.’

‘Like hell you will Lucy’ I couldn’t help but bark down the phone then realised how it sounded so I tried to soften my voice before speaking again. ‘Sorry, but seriously it isn’t a problem, I spend most nights at the dorms anyway. Plus you know it will be clean and tidy for you both.’

‘Yeah I remember that the only thing we ever seemed to agree on was how OCD we both were about stuff even back then.’

‘Exactly so please just think about it ok, I know Tig will offer his place but well even though he’s your dad he’s still Tig.’ I said causing her to laugh for over a minute down the phone making me smile.

Once she had calmed down she spoke again. ‘I will think about it and mention it to Alex in the morning. Right now I am tired so I am gonna go but I will ring you in a few days if that is ok with you?’

‘It’s fine Lucy and thanks for ringing me please think about my offer too.’

‘I will Hap, goodnight.’

‘Goodnight Lucy’ I said as I hung up and put my phone on the table. I picked up my glass and drained it as my ma walked back out and took her seat again and put another bottle of whisky between us.

‘So what did she say?’

‘She said Alex wants to meet me and that they will come to Charming for a few weeks when he finishes school’ I said as I poured myself more whisky. 

‘Well that’s a good thing Hap. I mean from what you told me about her and from what I remember when I met her she is just as strong headed as you so it obviously means the boy is too, so if he didn’t want to meet you I don’t think she would have forced him.’

‘I know ma, it’s me that may not be ready. I mean what the hell am I meant to say to him if he asks where the hell I have been for the last ten years.’

‘Well you said last night that when he asked before that Lucy told him the truth about you not knowing so just that. There is no point letting yourself all worked up for the next few weeks and stewing in your own negative thoughts. I know that is what you are likely do it despite what I say but please try. Kids pick up on these things a lot better than adults do, especially if he is as bad as you were when you were a kid. I could always tell when you didn’t believe me when I said I hadn’t had a bad day.’

‘Yeah I remember that. I will try but I can’t make any promises ma.’

‘That’s all you can do son. Right I am going to bed so you lock up whenever you’re finished ok?’

‘Ok ma goodnight’ I said as she kissed my cheek and went back inside leaving me to think on everything.

 

Lucy

I woke up the next day without my alarm even going off again, but with it being a Saturday I let Alex sleep in a little later knowing that we didn’t have to be at the garage til eleven, so I made myself a coffee and sat outside on the back deck thinking about the last few days. I thought about Happy’s offer to stay in his house when we visited Charming. When I told him over the phone that I would have to talk Alex it wasn’t exactly the truth, I mean I would, but it was more about how I would feel staying there. For years we argued and fought whenever we came into contact with each other. Constantly throwing insults at each other. The one time we never did was when we had one night together that resulted in me being pregnant and leaving Charming for a little over ten years. I really wasn’t sure how to get my head around the change between us even if we hadn’t seen each other in so long. I guess we had both changed over the years. I had always been opinionated and was known for not taking anyone’s shit. I mean for Christ sake I was not only Alex Trager’s daughter but from the age of four I was raised by a group of bikers who swore like sailors and had taught me to stand up for myself and never back down from a challenge, that was without Gemma instilling in me that one day I would be an old lady and despite what the men said it was us that where that where the backbone of the club. I really didn’t think he expected me to tell him straight when he asked about meeting Alex but I had meant every word. As much as I didn’t want to I guess I would have to talk about it with him when we next spoke otherwise we would be likely sleeping at the clubhouse cause Happy was right, I was not subjecting my son to the kinky shit Tig no doubt had lying around his house, I had seen enough of that shit when I was a teenager. I decided that whilst Alex was still asleep to get my laptop as well as another coffee and see about booking the flights for going back. The next hour saw me booking two flights out but I decided to wait to book the return flights as I didn’t know if we would be spending the whole three weeks there or not, then making breakfast before going to wake up Alex so we could both eat.

Just before eleven saw us waking into the garage with Alex running off to see a few of the guys who were working today and me going into the office to talk to Matt about everything that had happened in Charming. Over the next thirty minutes and a coffee saw me telling him everything that occurred. He got up to refill our cups as he asked ‘so you’re going back there in a few weeks then?’

‘Yeah, I talked to little man last night and he really wants to go and meet Happy.’

‘I’m glad, I mean I know you were dreading it the other morning before you went to the airport but see I was right it all worked out didn’t it’ he said smugly as he turned back round and handed me my cup.

‘Yeah smartass you were right. Happy now?’

He laughed as we walked out of the office and towards the garage. ‘I am Lucy more than you know. I told you after Tig left a few months ago that it was time you talked to him about everything. I could tell over the years that you had not only missed your dad but the lot of them. It will be good for you to have them back in your life and it will be amazing for Alex to get to know the rest of his extended family.’

‘I know it will but that doesn’t stop me from being nervous about it.’

‘Of course you’re nervous but from how you told me it went you have nothing to worry about, I would offer to come with you but this place would grid to a halt if we both left.’ he said as we walked over to our bays which were next to each.

‘Yeah you’re right, plus Alex asked if Koz could come so I text him last night, I haven’t heard anything back yet but thanks Matt really for offering’ I said as I started working on the bike that some dick had managed to fuck by riding it full speed the day he bought it having never been on a bike before.

When I took a break about three I checked to see where Alex was and couldn’t help but get my phone to snap a picture of him and Hank as they were both face first in an engine. I called his name before I took it and captured him looking up at me grinning with smudges of grease on both cheeks and his forehead. I made my way back to the office to grab a water and noticed I had a few messages on my cell so sat down to read them as I took a long drink. The first one was from Koz saying that he would talk to Lee and get back to me but that it shouldn’t be a problem for at least the first week as he was going back down to Charming mid week anyway so a few days shouldn’t make a difference and that he would call me later. So I didn’t bother replying knowing he would ring me tonight. The next was from Gemma asking me how my chat with Alex had gone and I suddenly remembered I meant to call her last night but forgot so I quickly hit reply and told her that we were ago for coming to Charming and that I would ring her on Monday and tell her the plan. The last one was from Happy which I hadn’t expected after talking to him just last night but opened it anyway. He asked that would there be a chance that I could email some pictures of Alex to his mom when I had the chance and he attached her email address too. I hit reply again and said I would send her some either tonight or tomorrow, I included the one I had just took in the garage and that I would call or text him when I had sent them. As I got up to walk back out to the garage Alex came into the office with his backpack and told me he was going to have his lunch, I just chuckled at him and nodded. 

At six thirty that evening we walked back into the house both of us carrying bags from the grocery store and whilst I started unpacking the food, Alex took the dogs out back to play with them. They had a dog door that the brood used during the day but he always took them outside when it was nice to play with them when I made dinner on an evening. Over dinner we talked about this and that but nothing of importance til I was sitting a bowl of ice cream in front of him for his dessert whilst I had a beer. ‘So I text your uncle Koz last night and he will be in Charming during the time we are there, he is going to speak to his boss about coming down a few days early but he might not be with us for the full time’ I said as he was shovelling ice cream into his mouth like it was going to be taken away at any second.

After he swallowed he said ‘that’s great mom. I really do want to meet them but is it wrong to want uncle Koz there with us?’

‘Not at all baby, it has be overwhelming for you, even though you have always known about them it’s a lot to take in and I for one am pleased he will be there too. Apart from uncle Matt he is my best friend.’

‘Where are we going to stay when we get to Charming mom?’

‘Well that’s another thing I wanted to talk about with you. Happy has said that we can stay at his house and that he will stay at the club house. How do you feel about that?’

‘He doesn’t mind us staying there does he?’ he asked as he finished his bowl of ice cream.

‘Trust me Alex, Happy is not the type of man to say something he doesn’t mean but I am going to talk to him about it when I speak to him next. He sent me a message today and his mom wants to see some more pictures of you. Uncle Kozik gave him some of the ones he carries in his kutte and he is staying with his mom this weekend and showed them to her. I was thinking of sending them some of the ones I have from when you were a baby’ I laughed as he groaned and stood up to take his bowl to the sink.

‘Mom really, that’s like so embarrassing.’

‘Well it’s either I send them to them or I take all the albums in my suitcase then everyone will see them.’

‘Fine but please not the naked ones from bath times please.’ he begged.

‘I make no promises now go shower and I will sort out this lot’ I said gesturing to the kitchen and feeding the dogs. He huffed as he walked out to go upstairs to his room.

By nine that night saw me sitting with my laptop at the kitchen table while Alex was upstairs playing something online and talking to his friends as I opened a new email and got the address from the message Happy had sent me earlier. I decided to attach a few pictures from every year of his life so far including the ones from every one of his birthdays too. I hit send after I had wrote a small note about them as well as giving her my landline number and the best times to catch me in the house with the time difference. I texted Happy to tell him I had sent them because I wasn’t in the mood to speak to him again so soon, but vowed to myself that I would ring him during the week and talk about where we would be staying when we got to Charming.

Just as I was settling down on the sofa with another beer to see if there was anything to watch my phone chimed with a message and I opened it to see it was from Koz telling me that he couldn’t talk but it was all sorted for him to come to Charming for at least the first week and that he would meet us at the airport on the Saturday, all I had to do was text him the flight details and that he would ring me in the next few days. I simply replied for him to be careful and that we both loved him.

Over the next week things pretty much went back to normal for us with me going to the garage everyday and Alex going to school and getting dropped off there in the afternoons. The only thing that differed was the messages a few times a day from Charming. I still hadn’t managed to speak to Happy again yet but I promised I would do it by the weekend. I had spoken to Gemma on Monday and she was just as shocked as I was when I told her what Happy had offered but also agreed that he wouldn’t have said it if he didn’t mean it, so that helped me realise that maybe we should stay at his place but I wouldn’t make up my mind until I had spoke to Happy about it. On Friday Alex had a sleepover planned at his best friend Aj’s house so after I dropped him off I went to the store to buy myself some wine so I could have a relaxing bath in peace. I was just about to get in the bath when I heard the door bell start to ring so as I grumbled under my breath and put my robe on I made my way downstairs telling the dogs to go outside. Which they did and looked through the peephole to see my dad and Happy standing on the porch. I swung open the front door. ‘What the fuck are you two doing here? You both look like shit too.’ I said as I pulled the door open wider and gestured them both inside. Tig just grinned at me as he walked past and dropped a kiss on my head as he went and Happy just shook his head and shrugged his shoulders at me as he walked past. They followed me into the kitchen and I pulled out three beers out of the fridge and turned to see them sitting at my table. ‘Seriously is everything ok?’ I asked as I passed them the beer.

‘Luce everything is fine’ Tig said taking a long pull from the bottle. ‘We had some business to take care of in New York and thought we would stop in on the way back to Charming.’ Happy scoffed at this which caused Tig to laugh. ‘Well I did and dragged Hap here with me as we are not meant to travel back alone. Where is Alex?’ he asked as he looked around my kitchen.

‘At a sleepover with his friend. I take it you guys are gonna want to crash here tonight?’ I asked still in shock that they had turned up on my door step but I could tell that it was not Happy’s idea and that he was only here because he would never let my dad ride alone.

‘Yes’ Tig said as Happy said ‘no.’

‘Well I tell you what I am going to put some clothes on then order some food so while I am upstairs the pair of you make up your mind. I have a spare room with two beds in it so there is enough room. At least stay and eat with me.’ I said as I walked out of the room to put some sweats on so I wasn’t practically naked in front of them both. As I walked upstairs I knew that if the both of them decided to stay I would ring Alex and ask him if he wanted to come home because he would not be impressed if I didn’t at least give him the option. I walked back downstairs in sweats and a vest top and I could hear them arguing about something but trying not to shout. I didn’t stop just waked back into the kitchen and went to the fridge to get more beers. ‘Right if you are staying I will ring Alex and ask him if he wants to come home because he will be annoyed with me if I don’t. So tell me you have both stopped bickering about it and have made up your minds.’ I said smirking at them both and got two matching smirks back.

‘We are staying Lucy if you really don’t mind, I tried telling him.’ Happy said gesturing at Tig ‘that you wanted to take it slow but with you coming to Charming next week and with us both being close he said that he was coming whether I followed him or not.’

‘Well as much as I hate to agree with Tig’ I said not even looking away from Happy ‘it might actually be better for him to meet you both on his turf rather than in Charming and plus your right he would have turned up here with or without you. So let me ring Alex and see what he wants to do ok?’

‘You both realise that I am still sitting here right?’ Tig huffed but when we both turned to look at him he was grinning at me knowing he had won and people wondered why I was as stubborn as I was. I got up and grabbed my cell off the counter and rang Alex, he answered on the third ring. ‘Hey mom, you ok?’ he asked before I could say anything.

‘I’m fine baby don’t worry but after I dropped you off I had two very unexpected visitors and wondered if you wanted to come and meet them?’

‘Erm well who is it?’ he asked sounding nervous as I never normally rang him when he was at a sleepover with AJ.

‘Tig and Happy are here baby, they had some business in New York and decided to stop by to meet you.’

‘Oh wow mom can I come home?’ he asked and I knew he was excited by the way his voice pitched high. I could tell that he was already packing his stuff back into his bag.

‘Of course, let me talk to Kelly real quick while you finish packing your stuff up so she knows what is going on ok.’

‘Ok mom, see you.’ I heard him run done the stairs and shout for Kelly.

After a brief chat with Kelly explaining why Alex wanted to come she said she would see me soon. I had met Kelly in one of my pregnancy classes and we hit it off immediately. She was a few years older than me but we were both single mothers and had been close friends ever since.

‘Right’ I said looking back at them both ‘I am going to pick Alex up, there is a pizza take out menu on the fridge, me and Alex like a pepperoni and sausage pizza and some chicken strips. Order whatever else you want and there is cash in the jar by the sink to pay for it if it gets here before I get back.’ which got me two eye rolls from them. ‘I will be back in about thirty minutes but before I go let me introduce you to the dogs so they know you both aren’t a threat’ I said and made my way to the back door.


	3. chapter 3

When I pulled into Kelly’s driveway about fifteen minutes later Alex was already waiting outside on the porch steps with AJ at his side and Kelly was leaning on the door frame watching them with a smile on her face. Before I could even cut off the engine Alex was off the step and running towards the car, but I still got out and made him go back and thank Kelly properly. I walked up the steps getting a hug from AJ before I had a brief word with Kelly. Once we were back in the car with Alex sitting next to me in the front, he couldn’t seem to keep still he was so excited. ‘You ok with this baby?’

‘Yeah mom, I am a little nervous but excited more. Did you know that they would be coming?’ he asked me.

‘I had no clue Alex but this is typical Tig, once he gets an idea in his head that’s it’ I laughed ‘with them both being in New York they both decided to come’ I lied a little.

‘Well I think it’s cool that I get to meet them a week early.’

‘Yeah me too’ I said as we pulled into our driveway got out and made our way up to the front door. As we walked in I went towards the kitchen but stopped at the doorway and waited while Alex put his bag on the hook. He walked up to me and with my hand on his shoulder we both walked in. Tig and Happy both stood up and Alex had no fear as he walked up to Tig first, stuck out his hand and said ‘Hi Tig, I’m Alex’ and looked at him waiting for him to shake his hand. Tig looked amused as he shook his hand and I couldn’t help feeling proud that my ten year old had no clue that he was in the presence of two of the most dangerous men I had ever met, all he knew was that this was his grandfather and father. Alex made his way to Happy but this time when he stuck his hand out he said ‘Hi Happy, I’m Alex Herman Lowman’. Happy shook his hand but he briefly looked at me when Alex had told him his full name. ‘Hi Alex’ Happy said as the three of them sat down and I went to the fridge to get us all a drink, asking Tig if he had ordered the food as door bell went again for the second time tonight but before I was able to put the drinks down to get it Tig was out of his seat and walking towards the door. At my suggestion we all went into the sitting room and after we all had food on our plates Alex started talking. ‘So are you both mechanics like mom?’ he asked looking up from his pizza.

‘We are, in fact I taught your mom everything she knows’ Tig grinned at him.

‘That’s not what uncle Koz says, he says that it was him’ Alex said causing me to laugh as Tig huffed.

‘One thing you need to learn kid is that your uncle Koz is full of shit.’

‘He said that you would say that too, cause you have been in denial all these years’ which caused all three of us to laugh as Alex looked between us.

‘I am gonna kick his ass next time I see him.’ Tig muttered which made Alex snort. 

‘So Alex’ Happy said speaking for the first time since we sat down to eat, ‘ya ma tells me that you’re good at fixing bikes too.’

‘Yeah, I like helping out on the weekend, especially when an asshole wrecks his bike cause he doesn’t have a clue how to ride it, last weekend mom had to do just that. She told him too when he came to pick it back up the other day after school’. 

‘Yeah that sounds like your mom’ he said as Tig sorted and put more pizza on his plate ‘she always was a smartass.’

‘She told me you used to insult each other all the time too cause you are both too stubborn’ he said bluntly.

‘I got to say kid you come by that honesty from the both of them’ Tig said pointing at me and Happy but never stopped looking at Alex.

We were quiet for a few minutes while we all finished eating but Tig stood up and asked if he could go out the back to smoke. We both got up and I walked with him into the kitchen, where I got him an ashtray and followed him out to the chairs that were on the porch and we both sat down, he pulled out his smokes and offered me one as he lit his own. ‘You doing ok kid?’ he asked me as I lit mine.

‘Yeah dad I’m fine, I know why you did it too’ I said but he kept his face blank. ‘Don’t look at me like that either, you may always seem to be reckless and it may have been ten years Tig but don’t forget just how well I know you and your ways to plot shit.’

He smirked at me whilst he blew smoke rings. ‘Shit yeah I forgot, but he would have been a mess by next weekend and when we got the call to come to New York I thought it would be better to do it this way without having the audience.’

‘I get that dad, so thanks.’

‘Think that the two of them are ok in there?’ he asked nodding to the back door.

From the angle of my chair I could see straight through the kitchen and into the sitting room. I could see the pair of them sitting at opposite ends of the sofa facing each other and talking. ‘Yeah dad they are both fine. Alex was really excited when I picked him up, poor Hap is probably going have to get used to the constant questioning though cause that kids mind never stops and normally he asks whatever is in his head.’

‘Just like you used to be, that’s why from the age of six you were constantly in the garage with me it was easier just to show you what I was doing as I was doing it rather than having to stop every two minutes to explain it’ he said causing us both to laugh.

Happy

The weekend that I spent with ma did exactly what I hoped and helped me think everything through. After looking through the pictures Lucy had sent on the Saturday with ma I got a call from Clay asking me to come back to Charming as he had a job for me so I packed up early and headed back. Once in church he informed us all that the New York chapter was in serious shit with the NYPD and that someone had ratted about the guns they ran and my services were needed ASAP. I should have known the minute Tig said he was going with me that he was plotting something, especially when he pulled the bullshit about missing us working together. I was too focused and was already planning the ride as it would be at least two days and that was if we really pushed it, which by what Clay had said we would need to, to try and figure out what was going on in his twisted mind. I was grateful I had already been to see ma so I could concentrate on the job and not about the kid. Within the hour we had worked out the best route and were on the road after Clay told us he wanted regular updates. Monday lunch time saw us pulling into the New York club house both of us looking like shit and feeling even worse after the long ride. We had a quick church with just Phil the president and Snake his VP bringing us up to date on what was going on and we had a quick shower after Tig had spoke to Clay. Then we went to the warehouse and started talking to the others. As much as I hated to suspect a brother it was obvious that someone was talking, with the information that a contact of Phil’s in the police had told him. Within three days we had found the rat who happened to be a recently patched brother and we dealt with him. Phil had assured us that he would dispose of the body and he would never be found, so neither Tig or I questioned him. After a party to celebrate back at the clubhouse on the Thursday I was ready to head back to Charming but when I woke up around noon on the Friday I found Tig sitting at the bar grinning at me which was never a good sign. After the prospect handed me a coffee he spoke. ‘So brother I spoke to Clay and he agreed that we could take a few more days and have a little side trip.’

‘What?’ I all but snarled at him feeling hungover and the coffee had yet to kick in.

‘Well with us being so close I have decided to go visit my kid and grandkid.’ he said without even looking at me.

‘No Tig’ was all I could manage.

‘Yes Hap, I have cleared it with Clay and I am leaving soon and you know we can’t split up it ain’t safe brother’ he said finally looking at me with a shit eating grin plastered on his face.

‘You’re a dick’ was all I said as I picked up my coffee and walked back to the dorm I had been sleeping in since I arrived to have a shower and pack my shit cause it looked like we were going to Boston cause he knew I would never let him ride alone. Two in the afternoon saw us saying bye to our brothers and back on the road for the roughly four hour ride to Boston, with me still thinking that this was a bad idea and Lucy was likely to kill us both for just showing up on her doorstep without any warning, but at least I could be honest with her and blame this whole thing on Tig.

We pulled up to a nice looking house with a porch swing outside and a nice vintage black dodge in the driveway. Tig had told me that Juice had text him the address so we knew we were in the right place. We both parked our bikes and made our way up the path to the front door. Tig rang the bell looking at me with a grin that I scowled at cause I still didn’t think this was a good idea. Even though Lucy was shocked to see us standing there as she only had robe on she invited us in giving us a beer and explained that Alex was at a sleepover. Once she came back downstairs dressed in sweats she informed us that if we had decided to stay the night she would ring the kid and give him the option as to whether he wanted to come home and meet us. When she got off the phone and told us that he in fact want to come home, she introduced us to the dogs which were beautiful looking animals. An English Mastiff called Buster, two brindle coloured pit bulls called Bella and Nemo and a great Dane puppy called Darcy. She left us in the kitchen with instructions to order some food and that there was money to pay for it on the counter, which I just rolled my eyes at as she walked out the door. Tig got up and pulled the menu off the fridge as well as getting us another beer each as I stood up and walked into the sitting room to get a closer look at the pictures I had seen hanging there when we first came in. On the walls that were not covered in shelves there were literally pictures everywhere and included ones of all of us over the years as well as ones of her, Alex, Koz and her friend who I guessed was Matt. It was like looking at a time line of Alex’s life from the day he as born to the present and included a copy of the one Koz had given me in Charming that was from a few weeks ago at his tenth birthday. I was so busy studying them I didn’t hear Tig walk in til he was right beside me but I managed to hide my flinch as he started studying them the same way I had. ‘It really is uncanny just how much he looks like you Hap’ he said but all I could do was nod and try to swallow the unexpected lump that had lodged itself in my throat. We were both sitting back at the table fifteen minutes later when we heard the front door open and Lucy appeared in the kitchen doorway, but waited til Alex walked in and stood beside her as she put her hand on his shoulder. I couldn’t stop looking at him as he glanced between me and Tig before walking over to Tig first and then me and introducing himself. At hearing his full name for the first time made the lump in my throat return but I swallowed it down after looking at Lucy briefly and shook his hand as we sat at the kitchen table. I had never expected him to have my surname nor did i expect the way it made me feel. Shit I had a son and he was sitting in front of me. I was saved from thinking more about it when the door bell rang and Tig got up to answer it. We talked a little as we ate our food but when Tig asked if he could smoke out back and Lucy got up to join him was when Alex really started talking to me. He left the floor after putting his plate on the coffee table and sat opposite me on the sofa and turned to me. ‘Mom told me that you don’t talk much but I have so many questions about you’ he said looking nervous.

‘She is right, I normally don’t but I will answer as many questions as I can Alex and to be honest I have quite a few myself’ I said and I could practically feel him release the tension. 

‘I like your tattoos’ he burst out, his cheeks went red and I couldn’t help but smirk at him. 

‘Thanks, I started when I was young and never really stopped, your Mom told me you like to draw? I designed most of them myself.’

‘I do love to draw and Mom said I get it from you cause she can barely manage a stick figure. Want to come see my sketch pads, they are in my room?’ he asked and when I nodded at him his whole face lit up as he got up from the sofa and gestured for me to follow him.

Once we made it upstairs I followed him into his room, he sat on his bed and I took the chair by his desk as he opened a draw and pulled a pad out but I could see at least another dozen in there. ‘Here, but don’t expect much remember that I am only ten’ he smirked as he handed it to me. I wasn’t expecting the sarcasm and couldn’t stop the laugh that burst out as I took it from him. As I flicked through the pages I was impressed, he really was talented especially at drawing bikes and cars. They was also an amazing one of Lucy and Koz sitting in what looked like a park and when I turned it around and asked him about it he said ‘I drew that one when uncle Koz came for my birthday a few weeks ago, we went to the park for a picnic and they didn’t know I was doing it.’

‘Alex these are really good.’

‘Thanks, do you draw?’

‘Yeah whenever I have the time and I love to read as well just like you and your mom.’

‘Oh I love reading, I just started a new one last night. I’m reading The Hobbit and mom said that when I finish it we can have a movie marathon like we did when I read The Lord of The Rings books.’

‘I read those years ago and really enjoyed them too’ I said which made him smile at me.

We spent the next hour in his room just the two of us and talked he even managed to talk me into playing so game on his computer. It isn’t my thing and he thought it was hilarious that he kept beating me and that I kept swearing every time he did.

 

Lucy

When me and Tig walked back into the house after smoking a few more we found the room empty but I could hear talking from upstairs, so I simply started cleaning up from the pizzas and Tig joined me in the kitchen as I loaded the dishwasher. An hour later I left Tig asleep in the chair in the sitting room where we had been talking and made my way upstairs. I found Alex and Happy in his room playing something on his Xbox and as I lent against the door frame I couldn’t help but smile at the two of them. They both had they backs to me but Alex kept laughing and Happy muttering curses every time Alex killed him. I didn’t want to interrupt them, even though I suspected Happy knew I was watching so I made my way back downstairs after checking the guest room had everything they would need. It was the room Koz slept in whenever he came to stay plus it had an extra single bed in it as well as the double so at least they wouldn’t have to share. When I got back downstairs Tig was still asleep on the chair so I kicked his leg and he sprang up like I fired a gun causing me to laugh at his startled expression as he looked around the room confused for a few seconds before he glared at me. I was still laughing as I walked into the kitchen and grabbed us a couple of beers and handed him one as I sat on the sofa.

‘What are they up to up there’ Tig asked gesturing upstairs with his bottle.

‘Alex is kicking Hap’s ass on some video game and laughing like a loon everything Happy swears’ I said with a grin.

‘Just wait til he gets to Charming and he can play with Juice, he loves all those shooting games. Personally I have always preferred the real thing’ he said causing me to snort beer out.

‘Probably, talking of Charming dad anything happening I should know about before we get there?’

‘Nope, Lucy trust me everything will be fine. The club has finally settled into a good routine with everything. Gemma is planning a big get together at their house on the Sunday and she mentioned ringing Hap’s mom and seeing if she wanted to come down for it too.’

‘Actually dad that sounds like a great idea and I do trust you.’

‘Hap said that he offered you to stay at house place. You gonna?’

‘I was going to ring him and talk to him about it some more but I will get round to it either tonight or tomorrow but I am thinking that we probably will end up staying there. Koz is coming down too as Alex asked for him to be there too. But I think it will be a lot easier with him having met the two of you already.’

‘Yeah Koz rang me and told me he was coming down and I get that having him there will be easier for Alex and you’ he said standing up ‘any chance I can take a shower.’

‘Sure dad, go get your stuff and I will show you where you will be sleeping’ I said as he nodded and walked out the front door.

When he came back carrying a small bag he followed me up the stairs and showed him where he would be sleeping and where the bathroom was. As I walked past Alex’s bedroom I noticed that it was quiet and popped my head around the door to see Alex asleep on his bed and Happy just sitting on the chair watching him but he looked at me as he saw the door open ‘How long has to be out?’ I asked as I walked further into the room and pulled his shoes off, luckily he had sweats on so he could just sleep in them instead of me trying to wrestle jeans off him. ‘About ten minutes, he literally lent against me and was out’ he said still looking at Alex.

‘Yeah he does that’ I laughed ‘Always has since he was a baby’.

‘He’s amazing Lucy’ he said finally looking at me and standing so we both made our way out of the room and back downstairs. I told him to get himself a beer if he wanted and that Tig was taking a shower and that he was more than welcome to one as he nodded at me and walked into the kitchen to grab a beer. When he came back into the room and sat down on the chair opposite me I started talking ‘Hap about your offer for us to stay at your place when we come to Charming.’

‘Yeah what about it’ he said taking a drink of beer and looking at me.

‘I feel kinda guilty for kicking you out of your own house. I mean I am not gonna get an angry girlfriend or old lady screaming at me right?’

‘Firstly, I don’t have either of those things so you don’t need to worry about that and secondly I wouldn’t have offered if I didn’t mean it so no need for you to feel guilty. I meant what I said I spend most of my time at the club house anyway so it is no drama there.’

‘Ok well the answer is yes we will stay at your place so thanks Hap’ he just nodded at me as he finished his beer and asked if he could take a shower as Tig walked back down the stairs in a pair of sweats as Happy stood and made his way outside to his bike. Once I showed him the same thing I had my dad I came back downstairs and sorted the dogs out and all four of them made they way upstairs and all clambered onto Alex’s bed, but I decided that with two extra people in the house to leave the door open a little in case the extra noise disturbed them and I didn’t want them waking Alex up during the night. 

When I came back down the stairs Tig was once again sitting on the back porch smoking so I went outside to join him after grabbing us both another beer. ‘So we are going to stay at Hap’s place when we visit’ I simply said as I sat down next to him.

‘That’s good Luce, want me to bring my truck to the airport so it saves you renting a car again, I never changed the insurance so you will be covered.’

‘Shit dad that would be great but why after so long didn’t you change it?’ I asked looking at him but he continued to look out into the yard.

‘Probably cause I was always hopeful you would come back eventually’ he said still not looking at me and I honestly didn’t know how to reply to that so we sat in silence til Happy walked out about ten minutes later and joined us but not speaking either. After about thirty minutes of comfortable silence I got up and told them I was going to bed and that they were welcome to help themselves to anything in the fridge and that they could decide themselves who was sleeping in the double bed and who was getting the short straw for the single and that I would check the front door was locked but could either one of them remember to lock up the back whenever the last one came back inside. I gave Tig a kiss on the cheek before I went inside but just patted Hap’s shoulder as I walked past him and made my way upstairs to have a quick shower before bed cause I never did get my relaxing bath after all. 

I didn’t sleep well that night but I wasn’t sure whether it was because Tig and Happy where asleep down the hall or the fact that in just a little over a week I would be taking Alex to Charming to meet everyone and as much as I had missed them all over the years it had only hit home just how much when I went back a few weeks ago. Either way saw me sitting outside at four thirty in the morning smoking the ones either my dad or Happy had left on the corner of the counter by the back door and drinking coffee just staring out into my yard thinking about how everything had changed for both me and Alex so very quickly. Alex seemed to be taking it all in his stride especially meeting them both yesterday. I nearly shit when I felt a hand on my shoulder and luckily I wasn’t holding my cup when I jumped and turned to see my dad standing beside me in the early morning light ‘You ok Luce?’ he asked taking a seat next to me and lighting up a smoke.

‘Yeah dad I’m just thinking about everything.’

‘You always did get insomnia when you were worried about things. Remember your finals in high school, me and Koz thought we where gonna have to sedate you to knock your ass out the way you paced the floor for hours during the night. So please tell me what ya thinking about, you never know I might just be able to help.’

‘I’m just thinking about us coming to Charming. I know that it was fine when it was just me but I’m thinking about Alex, I know he will be fine and that everyone will accept him I mean Christ they accepted me all those years ago straight off the bat when I was dumped on you but it has just been the two of us for so long. I know I have Matt, Koz and Kelly as well as the guys from the garage but it is still just the two of us and I am terrified that he will feel that I have purposely kept him away from so many people and I know I am making no sense cause I can hear the crazy when I say it out loud but I am freaking myself out’ I said in a rush knowing that I sounded like a crazy person and that my dad probably didn’t understand half of what I had just rambled about, but I couldn’t help it and I could feel my breathing start to become shallow the more I thought about it all. I wasn’t aware Tig had moved til I felt him put his hands on my face and realised that I had my eyes screwed shut. ‘Luce look at me baby and try too slow your breathing, listen everything is going to be fine I promise. Everyone will love him like they do you. You have raised an amazing kid and unlike me who needed help with everything you have done all this by yourself and I know you had help especially from Koz and Matt, but the rest is all on you baby and everyone who meets him will know that and love you all the more for what an amazing job you have done with him.’ he said resting his forehead against mine as I felt tears run down my cheeks as slid off my seat and wrapped my arms around his neck hugging the shit out of him and whispering ‘I love you dad.’

‘I love you too Lucy’ was all he say as we both sat on the cold porch hugging each other like we used to do when I was a kid about Alex age. No matter how many years had passed my dad had always been one of the very few people how could make me calm and safe with a few words. 

After we both got up I went to make us both a coffee as my dad lit his smoke and as I was getting another cup from the cupboard I heard someone coming down the stairs and knew that it was Happy as I didn’t hear the pounding of the four dogs as I would have if it had been Alex coming down. I got another cup out but just left his cup empty as I had I know idea how he took his coffee, I gestured to the pot as he came into the kitchen but he simply grunted at me as he made it black and walked straight out the back door obviously to smoke and drink it. I remember when I lived in Charming still that whenever I was in the clubhouse early that none of them apart from Bobby would ever say much til they had a few cups in them, whilst I usually helped Bobby bake and keep the coffee pots filled especially after one of they infamous parties. I smiled as I remembered that as I made my way outside to hand my dad his cup and retake my seat and took another smoke from my dads pack as I sat down.

Within the hour we had gone through two pots of coffee and both of them looked more human so I asked what time they had to head off today and surprisingly it was Hap who said ‘Well probably about lunch time as it won’t be the hard ride it was to get to New York.’

‘’So you both will have time to come to breakfast this morning with us then?’ I asked still looking at Happy.

‘Yeah where do you normally go for breakfast?’

‘There is a park about a fifteen minute walk from here, we normally walk there with the dogs then when it is nice get breakfast at this amazing food truck and sit in the park and eat it whilst the dogs run around like lunatics in the dog area.’

It was my dad who spoke up next ‘Yeah Lucy that sounds like a good plan’ and I could see Happy nodding in agreement from my left. 

A few hours later saw the four of us along with the four dogs walking towards the park we came to normally every Saturday whenever I had the weekend off from the garage. We all held a leash each which made it easier than normal as I usually had the three big ones and Alex with Darcy’s. It took us a little longer to get there than usual as Alex and Happy where walking in front of us and Alex chatting the whole time pointing out different things to Happy around the neighbourhood.

As Tig walked next to me a little further back I said ‘I can’t believe the way the two of them clicked, especially with how much Alex has been talking to him. I really didn’t expect him to open up to Hap the way he did straight away.’

‘Yeah I know what you mean, it’s the way Hap looks at him, I really can’t describe it I have honestly never seen him look at anyone the way he looks at Alex in all the years I have known him. It is like complete and utter amazement’

‘Yeah I get what your saying cause Alex is looking right back at him the same way. I have a feeling those two are gonna be thick as thieves by the time we leave Charming.’

‘Oh yeah, I already saw them this morning swapping numbers when you got dressed Luce, I hope to god he has a good plan on that cell of his’ he laughed just as we entered the park and I was grateful that he did as he loved to text with his friends from school even though he spoke to them all day at school then when he played online with them on an evening.

We walked around the whole park which took about an hour before we made our way to the food trucks that were parked in the usual spot next to the large pond and after we all got far too much food we carried the bags over to the benches next to the gated dog park and let the dogs run while we ate. I sat down with Alex next to me and Tig opposite me and I couldn’t help smirking at Tig as Alex seemed to be unable to start eating his food as he was too busy telling Happy about what was planned for the last week of school. Happy was eating but nodded and grunted in all the right places never taking his eyes off Alex giving him undivided attention which Alex seemed to be revelling in. Even though it had been Tig’s idea to come here and meet him it was all Alex could do to pull himself away from Hap to answer anything Tig asked, he wasn’t doing it to be rude I knew he was in just absolute awe with Happy, but I knew that once we got to Charming he was going to have to try and spend time with everyone but they would all understand especially after they all saw the two of them together for the first time. 

Once we had finished eating and got rid of our rubbish it took us another ten minutes to wrangle the dogs all over to the gate so we could put the four of them back on their leashes and we made our way back walking the same way we had there, me and Tig behind and Alex and Happy a little further in front both of them talking. We made it back and after I had put the dogs back in the yard both Tig and Happy made their way upstairs to pack what little belongings that they brought in the night before. I could tell by looking at Alex as he sat on the sofa that he didn’t want them to leave and that he would be upset after they had gone so I went and sat beside him and put my arm around his shoulders giving him a one armed hug as he put his head on my shoulder but neither of us said anything. I knew that after the pair had left is when we would talk about it all. We heard the boots on the stairs and when I stood up and turned they both looked at me holding the small bags but Tig took Hap’s off him and gestured with his head that I should follow him outside while he put them on the bikes giving Happy and Alex a few more minutes alone before they had to leave to get back on the road.

‘Alex gonna be ok when we leave Luce?’ he asked as he closed the last saddlebag on his bike. ‘I didn’t really think it would be this hard for either of them, I am sorry if this was a bad idea.’

‘I wasn’t a bad idea dad, yeah Alex is gonna be a little sad that he only got to spend a few hours with you both but it is only a week til we will be in Charming. You heard him this morning, he is really excited for all the fun things the school has planned for the last week especially as he is going into middle school so they have an extra special trip planned for Thursday that none of them will know about til Wednesday. I loved that you did this for them both even though the pair of them have pretty much ignored you since they got together last night.’

‘I was expecting that to be honest, I remember how you were after you had lived with me and Koz for a week. As much as you loved everyone else it was always either of us that you wanted to be with and you were only four and hadn’t spent your life knowing that I was out they somewhere, and I don’t mean that how it sounded Lucy so please don’t take it that way.’

‘I know what you meant dad and despite the reputation you may have for being an asshole most of the time, I love that you are always looking to make things easier for me. I love you dad and I am sorry that we missed so much time with us both being too stubborn to make the first move’ I said as I hugged him and he didn’t say anything back but as he hugged me back. I heard him sniff but pulled back as we heard the front door open and Alex and Happy laughing together about something as they made their way down the steps towards us and the bikes.

As we stood in the drive and watched the two bikes turn and leave the street. I put my hand on Alex’s shoulder and guided him back up towards the house, he went and sat in the same spot he had been just before. I made my way into the kitchen to get us both a drink and went to sit beside him again. ‘You doing ok buddy?’ I asked as I put both bottles on the table.

‘Yeah mom I’m fine, I really like him. He is so cool and he was telling me all about his tattoos on his arms and the one on his head’

‘Oh yeah what did he say about them’ I said thanking god that he didn’t know about the smiley faces on his abdomen otherwise I would need to get one of my own after I killed Hap.

‘He said he started before he should have and that his mom was so angry with him when he walked in at fifteen with his first one, he even said that he can do tattoos and that when I am older he will show me how to do them to if I wanted to but I had to talk to you about it.’

‘Well when your older we will talk about it then ok?’

‘Cool mom thanks, he gave me his number and said I can call or text him whenever I wanted to but that I should check with you first and sometimes he is busy with work so he might not always answer but that he will always ring me back as soon as he can.’

‘As long as it is ok with Happy for you to ring him then you don’t need to ask me Alex, he is your dad and you can talk to him whenever you like but he is right that sometimes he will be busy. You know like at times in the garage when I can’t take a call cause I am elbow deep in an engine.’ I said making it sound like Happy worked in an equally busy garage and not always out on club business. My ten year old did not need to know about any of the other stuff his dad and granddad did just yet. 

Ten minutes later Alex said he was going upstairs to play some video game with his friends and I made my way into the kitchen to make a list for the store when we went later that day knowing I had a lot to do over the next week to get us both ready to go to Charming.


	4. chapter 4

Exactly a week later saw us both up at five am much to Alex’s displeasure at being woken up at such an hour on a Saturday, but once I reminded him as he ate some toast that in just a few hours he would be seeing Happy again he sharp stopped and all but ate his last slice without chewing to go upstairs to brush his teeth and put his clothes on. I had everything packed and our suitcases and backpacks were already by the front door. Our taxi was booked for six ready for our nine am flight to California. Matt had come the night before to collect the dogs as they would be staying with him for the three weeks we would be gone. I followed Alex upstairs to get ready and then check everything was off, even though Matt had said he would pop over a few times a week too check on everything for me. 

Once we got to the airport Alex’s excitment really started to kick in especially when they called for our flight. He and Happy had spoken nearly every night since Hap had gotten home on the Monday and had texted as well. I had finally managed to speak to Hap’s mom as well and we had a great chat about everything. She was very excited to meet Alex at Gemma’s tomorrow for the bbq she was doing for us all. I had also spoken to Hap last night and it was agreed that he would drive Tig’s truck to the airport to pick us up as Alex was dying to see him again and even though Happy would never admit it he was as well. Koz was already in Charming having arrived yesterday and text me to say he would be riding to the airport with Happy but I already expected them all to turn up just like when they had ridden with me a few weeks before. 

Once we where in the air I convinced Alex to either play on his DS or read a book on his Kindle cause as much as I loved the kid if he didn’t stop his fidgeting I was likely to try and throw myself of this plane. He finally decided to read and soon was engrossed, so I decided to start the book I had packed in my bag. We were both so engrossed that before we knew it we were landing and the Alex fidgeting started all over again, but this time I didn’t let it bother me as we were soon departing the plane and making our way over to collect our luggage. When I spoke to Hap he agreed it would be easier if we just met him outside rather than him trying to park at the airport so when we stepped outside it didn’t surprise me that there was a long line of bikes parked in front of the rental place just like last time and I couldn’t help but smile at the way Alex turned to look at me and his eyes got wide seeing them all. It was Tig and Koz who made their way towards us and took both cases that I was pulling behind me off me, but the pair only got a brief greeting from Alex as he spotted Happy leaning against the side of the truck and luckily he was on the right side of the side walk cause he didn’t move his eyes off him. He didn’t even acknowledge all the bikes or riders which surprised me a little, but what surprised me more was the way he threw his arms around Happy’s middle and hugged him and the way Happy closed his eyes and hugged him back, neither of them seeing nor caring that the rest of the group of, lets be fair hardened criminal bikers who would all willingly do dangerous and illegal things on a daily basis, all stopped and stared with their mouths open in shock. Including Tig who had seen first hand last weekend just how quickly they had taken to each other, causing me to smirk as I looked away from the two of them and looked instead at the line of bikers with matching expressions on their faces. I couldn’t resist whipping out my phone and quickly taking a few photos of them as well as taking one of Alex and Hap but that was just to show Gemma and Maris, Hap’s mom. Once they had pulled apart but Alex still had his back to everyone and was looking up at Hap as he scowled at the others who were still staring at him, he simply glared at them and gave them the finger as he turned to look at me and nodded. Tig and Koz finally managed to pull themselves out of their stupor and start to pull the cases towards the truck and put them in the back. Alex finally turned and saw the others looking at him and he went down the row introducing himself to them and shaking hands just like he had last weekend with Tig and Happy. I walked over to Happy and put my backpack in the truck and just lent back on the truck next to him watching Alex hold court with them all.

Once we were in the truck on our way to Charming Alex started telling Happy all about the field trip he had went to on Thursday to the Franklin Park Zoo, even though I had heard him on the phone on Thursday night telling him but the weird thing was Happy didn’t seem to mind him telling him it all again. He simply kept driving but kept glancing in Alex direction every now and then. Alex didn’t seem to notice that we had an escort with all the bikes around us. Soon we drove past the welcome to Charming sign and that finally got his attention and he kept looking about as we drove through the town towards TM. Happy had told me that he had left his bike there and we could leave for his place whenever I was ready but we both knew that if Gemma didn’t meet Alex soon they would be absolute hell to pay for us all. 

When we pulled up I could see Gemma standing next to Tara who was holding Abel in her arms as well as Donna who had two small kids one either side of her and Piney at the end. Nobody moved as the bikes all parked in formation and Happy pulled the truck into a space opposite the club house. The three of us got out and Gemma made a beeline straight for Alex and came to a stop in front of him as he smiled up at her and said ‘Hi Gemma’ and stuck his hand out, after she shook it she started walking with him towards the club house as the others all followed but I was rooted to the spot watching them all interact with Alex who didn’t seemed fazed by all the new people. As I lent against the passenger side of the truck Happy walked around but instead of speaking simply handed me the already lit smoke as he lent against the truck too. After finishing the smoke I looked at him ‘Thanks Happy.’

‘You ok Lucy, you looked a little green for a second.’

‘Yeah I’m ok, was nervous as I didn’t know how he was going to react but I really shouldn’t have been. He is loving the attention from all his aunts and uncles’ I said as I pushed off the truck and made my way towards the club house.

Hap was right behind me as we both walked into the club house to see Alex sitting at the bar with a drink in front of him and talking to everyone around him, that is until he sees us walk in and then I hear him excuse himself and get down from his stool and makes a beeline straight for Hap who is now standing next to me. ‘Happy can you show me your bike please?’ he asked looking up at him. Happy just nodded and the pair walked back out of the club house as I made my way over to the bar and sat on the stool Alex had just vacated and was grateful when my dad who was standing behind the bar handed me a beer without me even asking. ‘Those two are going to be thick as thieves aren’t they’ Gemma said coming to sit next to me.

‘Oh yeah, should have seen the two of them at the airport’ I said pulling my phone out and showing her the picture I had snapped when neither of them where paying any attention to anyone but each other.

‘Hap has been different this week’ she said handing me my phone back. ‘Still doesn’t say much and his expressions haven’t changed but I can tell he seems lighter somehow. Tig told us about how they just clicked when the two of them met last weekend.’

‘Yeah pretty much, they have been talking every night this week I think. He is all Alex talks about’ I said as the others came and we all started just general chit chat for the next hour til Happy and Alex walked back into the club house and Alex said he was starving. We decided that we would make our way over to Hap’s house and then we would go to the store and pick up some groceries.

Happy

When we all pulled up to the airport parking where we had when we had dropped Lucy off a few weeks ago. I could finally admit to myself that I was nervous, not that I showed it but I was tense and soon started my third smoke in the last ten minutes when we finally saw the pair of them walking out of the automatic doors. Once they crossed the road and Alex saw me as Tig and Koz made their way over to help her with the cases Alex looked up at me and grinned. He didn’t look at anyone else and when he got to me threw his arms around me and hugged me without hesitation and I didn’t even think about it, it was automatic that my arms went around him as I closed my eyes and hugged him back. Even after only meeting him a week ago I knew I loved this kid. Despite what others thought of me I had always liked kids I just thought I would never have any of my own. I was around them a lot more when I was in Tacoma as most of my brothers they had old lady’s and at least one kid. I liked that they never censored themselves and the blunt way they often spoke about things. Alex was the same at only ten but he also had a wicked sense of humour which I admit that he got from his mom and grandfather. He was sharp as a tack and so sarcastic that he had made me laugh every time we spoke on the phone this week. When he stepped back from me I noticed the others staring at me like they had never seen me before which made me scowl as I gave them all the finger. Once we were in the truck he told me again all about his trip to the zoo and all the things he had seen but it didn’t bother me hearing it all again. I liked listening to his view on things. When we pulled into TM he didn’t hesitate to introduce himself to everyone he hadn’t already met and walked into the club house with Gemma without a backwards glance at either me or Lucy, already knowing that he would be safe with them. When I looked over the hood at Lucy she looked like she was going to puke so I made my way over to her and handed her my lit smoke and checked she was ok before we followed the others into the club house. Alex walked over and asked to see my bike so we walked outside and for the next hour we both sat on the ground of the lot going over all the specs of my bike and all the modifications I had made before he announced that he was starving, so we made our way back inside where Lucy said she would go over to my place now before going to the groceries store for food. Little did she know that over the last week I had been asking Alex about his favourite foods and had sent the prospect out yesterday to fill the fridge for them but I would wait to tell her that when we got to mine.

Lucy

It didn’t take us more than ten minutes to drive to Happy’s house once we had managed to escape TM. We followed him in my dad’s truck and we both parked outside a nice one story house that looked very well kept but I expected nothing less from him. He walked to the truck after placing his helmet on his bike and grabbed both the cases from the back as we got out and we followed him to the front door which unsurprisingly wasn’t locked, but really in Charming who would be stupid enough to break into not only a Sons house but the scariest one of them all.

The house was nicely decorated and was spotlessly clean which I knew it would be and he carried our bags down a short corridor where the bedrooms were. I followed him and he placed my case onto a large bed which I guessed was his room. ‘I changed the sheets on both beds this morning and cleared some room in the closet for you. In Alex’s room it has a walk in and a chest of drawers too.’ 

‘Thanks Hap, this is a great house ‘ I said smiling at him but he just nodded at me, walked into the room opposite mine and put Alex’s case on the bed before walking back to where Alex was. I decided that unpacking could wait til I had been and gotten us some food in but when I walked into the kitchen I saw Happy and Alex standing in front of the fridge talking about how Hap had got all his favourites.

‘Happy you didn’t need to buy us food, I planned to go to the store.’ I said unable to hide my shock that he had done that for us.

‘It was no problem, plus I sent the prospect for them’ he said sounding defensive.

‘Well at least let me give you some money.’ I said going back to grab my purse where I had hung it up when we first got here. I didn’t hear him follow me but jumped when he whispered behind me sounding angry. ‘I don’t want your fucking money Lucy.’ I turned and could see his jaw ticking which was a sure sign I had pissed him off.

‘Happy’ was all I managed to say before he started talking over me which in turn pissed me off.

‘No listen I am serious I don’t want any money for the fucking food. Please just let me do this. When we were talking he started asking what food I liked and wanted to know if we liked any of the same things so I knew some of the stuff to buy so he would feel at home here’ he said looking sheepish like he was embarrassed that he wanted Alex to be comfortable in his home, which instantly deflated my anger so I simply nodded my head and put my wallet away.

When I walked back into the kitchen Happy was sitting opposite Alex who was drinking a coke while Hap had a beer in front of him plus another one in front of an empty seat so I took that one. ‘Mom, Happy bought all my favourite food, isn’t that cool’ he said grinning at me and I couldn’t help but grin back at the way he said it, like it meant the world to him that his dad had remembered them talking about it even if it was just a few days ago.

We decided to have an early dinner once I had unpacked everything, with us not eating since breakfast and the time difference. I had left the pair of them going through the books Happy had on the shelves either side of the giant TV that was on the wall when I unpacked and when I came back they were talking still but this time about why the books were nearly always better than the films. I just shook my head as I walked into the kitchen to start cooking. Within the hour I had made a massive pan of chicken curry as well as sides for it and shouted them both through to eat.

‘That was amazing’ Happy said pushing his seat back a little so he could stretch his legs out.

‘Thanks, its always been a favourite of Alex’s’ I said as we both looked at him and he was still munching away through his second helping.

‘Where does he put it?’ Happy asked sounding amused at the amount of food his son could eat.

‘No idea but I am dreading him when he is a teenager, I may have to remortgage my house just to fill him’ I laughed.

‘Yeah my ma said the same about me. So I was thinking about tomorrow, my aunt and ma are driving down and I know Gemma will want you there early to help so I was wondering if Alex could spent the day with me before going to Gemma’s?’ he said.

‘Can I please mom?’ Alex said before I could even open my mouth.

‘Sure baby’ was all I said as I stood up to start and clear the table now that Alex had finally finished eating, sending them both away so I could do it myself. Happy left a few hours later after Alex had a shower and decided he wanted to go and read in bed for a little while but said he would be back first thing to pick up Alex and go out for breakfast just the two of them. After making sure everything was locked I followed Alex’s lead and decided to have an early night myself. I slept surprising well that night but I had to admit that Happy’s bed was so comfortable I might try and take it with me when we go back to Boston. I was making coffee a little after eight the next morning when I was surprised by a knock on the front door, I was shocked to look through the peep hole and see Happy standing on his own door step. ‘Why are you knocking on your own front door’ I said in way of a greeting when I opened the door.

‘Didn’t want to just walk in when ya staying here is all’ he said walking in and going straight to the coffee pot on the counter.

‘It’s your house Hap, you shouldn’t have to knock. Next time just come in please otherwise I am gonna feel like we have kicked you out ok?’

‘Fair enough’ was all he said as he sat down at the table with his cup.

‘Alex isn’t up yet but let me have my first cup in peace then I will go wake him up or you can, I don’t have to be at Gemma’s til twelve. What are your plans before the bbq?’ I asked taking my first sip of coffee.

‘I thought we could go get some breakfast at the diner, then maybe go to the garage and just hang out. I mentioned yesterday when we were looking at my bike that I bought a old one to fix up and he seemed excited at helping. Also I bought him a helmet so he can ride with me. He told me that he has done it before with Koz.’

‘Yeah he loves to ride but please promise me you will be careful with him on the back Hap.’

‘Of course I will Luce’ he said giving me a look to say it was a given and I was being an over bearing mom again but I couldn’t help it. It’s not like I didn’t trust him with Alex but Koz had been there since before he had even been born so I automatically trusted him with Alex even on his bike. I knew that it was going to take me awhile to get used to this whole co parenting thing after being on my own for so long and before long we would both need to sit down and talk about everything but with it being my first full day in Charming and the get together later I knew that today was not that day, so I simply nodded my head at him and told him to go wake Alex up.

The pair left an hour later and I couldn’t help but demand I take a photo of the two of them on Happy’s bike but under duress from them. The way they both looked at me with matching scowl made me laugh and I managed to snap more than one with my cell before they drove off towards the diner on Main Street. I still felt a little weird being alone in Hap’s house so after a shower I decided to go to the store and grab somethings for the sides I was going to make early to take to Gemma’s. So after a quick call to Gemma to ask what sides she wanted me to make I made my way to the store in my dad’s truck. It felt weird driving it again, this was the truck I learnt to drive in well before I was able to legally drive. When I pulled in I was thankful that there wasn’t many cars in the lot with it still being relatively early on a Sunday morning, so I grabbed a cart and made my way inside praying I didn’t bump into many of the nosy ladies that I used to hate when I lived here. Luck was obviously not on my side as I only managed to get down two aisle’s before I heard my name being called and turned to see Lisa, a girl who was a year ahead of me in school and a crow eater the minute she turned eighteen walking towards me looking like she was about to take the stage the amount of make up she had plastered to her face. ‘Oh my Lucy Trager, what are you doing back here?’ she asked in the same nasally voice I remembered.

‘Visiting my dad for a few weeks, how are you Lisa?’ I said through gritted teeth.

‘Oh he never said anything the other day when I was talking to him’ she said and I barely managed to supress my shudder at her version of what talking to my dad really meant.

‘Yeah well from what I remember when you and my dad got together talking was the least you were expected to do’. The sarcasm in my tone going straight over her head as she just giggled at me making me roll my eyes so hard I am surprised I couldn’t see my spinal column.

‘I heard you left cause you where knocked up’ she said bluntly.

‘You heard right Lisa, Alex is with me but spending the day with his dad’ I said finding it pointless to try and hide it what with this being Charming and all it would take is for someone in the diner to see Alex and Happy together and know he was his son and it to be around Charming by this time tomorrow.

‘So I have to ask’ she attempted to whisper but failed miserably ‘Who is the baby daddy?’

‘If you hurry and go to the diner when you’re finished and you will see for yourself, now I have to get going but it was good seeing you Lisa’ I blatantly lied with a smirk as I continued down the aisle but not surprised when I turned and looked that she had abandoned her basket was already out of the aisle, no doubt speeding to get to the diner to see for herself which caused me to snigger to myself the whole way around the store and even as I was driving back.

I had just put my bags on the counter in the kitchen when my cell started ringing and pulled it out of my back pocket to see it was Koz calling me. ‘Hey Koz’ I said as I started unpacking the bags.

‘Hey Luce, just wanted check in and make sure your ok” he said and I couldn’t help but snigger remembering what I had just done.

‘Oh Koz I am more than ok’

‘’Should I even question why you are sniggering. What did you do?’ he asked as I was full on laughing and couldn’t speak. ‘Never mind I will be there soon and you can tell me face to face’ he said as he hung up. Within ten minutes the front door opened and Koz and my dad walked in both with matching grins which caused me to start laughing all over again so I simply pointed to the coffee I had made and sat at the table and once they were both sitting I told them causing them both to start laughing too. ‘You do realise that Happy is gonna kill you right?’ Tig asked as Koz was still sniggering.

‘Oh brother, he will see the funny side especially if Alex is sarcastic like we both suspect’ Koz said pointing between me and him. 

‘Really?’ Tig asked not sounding convinced.

‘Oh yeah dad, he may seem polite but trust me that kid has a wicked sharp tongue when needed. He asked one of the interns who made a mistake when I was in hospital which McDonalds he got his happy meals from cause he was convinced that was where his MD came from not medical school.’

‘Are you shitting me?’

‘Nope and he said it with such a typical blank Happy look on his face that we thought the poor kid was gonna start crying cause of a ten year old’ I said causing him to laugh as he swallowed more coffee which in turn made him start choking.

Thirty minutes later they both left telling me that I would see them later at Gemma’s and they were going back to the club house to see both Happy and Alex. So I started making my sides as well as put the few bottles of wine I had bought in the fridge so they would be chilled when I took them over to Gemma’s in a few hours.

When I knocked on Gemma’s door a few hours later she kissed my cheek and took some of the containers out of my hands and we both walked into the kitchen which was surprisingly empty. ‘You’re early as always’ she said to me as she put the containers on the counter and walked over to the fridge as I unpacked the bags I had brought. She turned to see what else I had brought as she grabbed things to go in the fridge. ‘I was done early so I thought I could come and help and if it was needed. We could to this instead’ I said picking up a bottle of white wine and grinned at her.

‘Well pretty much everything else is done, I just have to put the last of the steaks into marinade then we can go out back with a glass and chat before the madness starts.’

‘Sounds good Gemma, need me to do anything?’ I asked but she just shook her head and pointed to a chair as she pulled a platter of steaks outta the fridge. We were sitting in the backyard a little later when we heard the unmistakable sounds of at least a few bikes pulling up outside but neither of us moved to get up knowing that whoever it was would either just walk in the front door or walk around the side of the house and see us siting there before going in the back door. We heard the laughter before they walked around the corner and saw Clay, Tig and Jax walk towards us.

‘What did he say’ I asked knowing that Alex was likely the cause of they laughter.

‘Jax who stopped laughing first simply shook his head and said ‘it would be funnier coming from Hap’ and that he and Alex would be here soon as the three of them walked over to the cooler and got a beer each before sitting down with us. Clay had just lit the grill when we heard more bikes pull up and within minutes they all walked around the house with Alex and Hap in the front and the others trailing behind them. I knew that Hap’s mom and aunt would be here soon and I was a little nervous about it but worrying about it wasn’t going to help so plastered a smile on my face as Alex came bounding over to me and started telling me all about his day so far. He was excited for the other kids to get here so that they could all play in the pool in Gemma’s yard and I promised him again that I had remembered his shorts as I had made him wear jeans with him being on the back of Hap’s bike this morning when he left. We both walked into Gemma’s with me directing him towards the bathroom after I had pulled his shorts out of his bag as well as the towel I had brought him. When I was walking back towards the doors I heard Happy call for me from the kitchen where I found him leaning against the counter with a beer ‘Did you think it was funny telling that skank that I was in the diner?’ he growled.

‘Yeah I did actually and stop pretending that your mad, Jax already told me that Alex said something to her so just tell me’ I managed to say without sniggering at him.

‘We were sitting just the two of us when she burst in and made a beeline straight for us, sat down next to me and looked between us before she started talking to Alex like he was an baby which he didn’t really like’ he said but stopped when I started laughing but I made a motion with my hand for him to keep talking. ‘When he didn’t answer any of the questions she fired at him and she asked me if he was special. That was when he spoke asking her if she had any manners because people normally wait to be asked to join when they are obviously having a private conversation, to which she shushed him and continued talking to me. He then politely interrupted her and asked if sarcasm was like a giraffe’s fart to her. When she looked at him but never said anything he said you know it goes straight over your head. At this point I laughed and sprayed her with the coffee I had just taken a drink of which caused her to scream and storm outta the diner without a backwards glance.’ By the time he finished telling me the story I was holding onto the counter so I wouldn’t fall as I was laughing so hard not only at the story but the look on Happy’s face when he was telling me, it was part wonder at what his ten year old had said and part shock that it had come out his mouth at all. He was grinning at me by the time I had calmed down and just then Alex came back out of the bathroom and walked over to me as I wiped my eyes, grateful I had put waterproof mascara on this morning. Alex looked between us as he handed me his clothes and told us he was going outside to see if the other kids had arrived yet. 

Before I could say anything else the front door bell rang and I knew that it must be his mom and aunt cause even the old ladies would have just walked in. Gemma came through the doors and gave me a nod as she made her way to answer it and I looked at Hap as he made his way towards where Gemma had gone and walked outside to greet Alex so he could meet them both. When we walked back inside they were all just walking into the dining room. We all stopped with the massive dining room table between us and Happy moved over so he was standing beside Alex and put his hand on his shoulder. I looked over at Maris and saw she had tears running down her face and that she couldn’t take her eyes of Alex. Alex walked over to her and simply hugged her not even bothering to introduce himself like he had the others, he was such a caring kid and hated seeing anyone upset. She didn’t stop crying but threw her arms around him and hugged him back. After a few minutes she pulled back a little and sat in the nearest chair to her and pulled him back into a hug which he returned. His aunt walked up to me and stuck her hand out. ‘Hello you must be Lucy, I’m Lydia Happy’s aunt.’

‘Lucy nice to meet you’ I said as I shook her hand and looked back over at them and could see them talking quietly to each other before Maris stood up and they made it over to us where Alex introduced himself to Lydia but unlike with Maris shook her hand and didn’t hug her. Gemma had somehow managed to slip out without any of us noticing but came back in carrying my wine glass and after handing it to me asked the others if they would like a drink. Before we could all walk outside Maris touched my arm and asked if she could talk to me in private for a few minutes, I simply nodded and guided her into Gemma’s living room and shut the door behind us as we both took a seat on the sofa. 

She took hold of my hand ‘Lucy I just want to thank you for allowing me to meet my beautiful grandson. Happy told me all about his reaction when you told him and I am just thankful that you decided to keep that very sweet boy out there.’

‘You’re welcome Maris but like I said when we spoke that it was never an option to do anything but keep him, he is the best thing in my life I am just sorry it took so long for you to meet him.’

 

‘We are here now and that is all that matters’ she said giving my hand a squeeze before releasing it and standing up ‘Come on lets get out there before my son starts pacing around wondering what we are talking about in here’ she said as we both made our way out the door and into the back yard to join the others.


	5. Chapter 5

The first week in Charming flew by and to be honest I hardly saw Alex, he had become Happy’s shadow whenever he wasn’t doing something for the club. I spent my days with Gemma, Koz and my dad. I had went out to lunch on the Tuesday with Donna and Tara and to say it didn’t go very well was an understatement, well things with me and Donna were great but I couldn’t help but feel judged from the minute Tara had walked in and joined us both in a booth. She questioned me why on earth I would come back here after managing to leave it all behind me and especially why the hell would I allow Alex to be part of this world. After I told her straight that I had only come to visit and in fact it was her who had come back to actually live and then to top it off not only did she got back involved with the club when she didn’t need to but to raise someone else’s child in the same environment, which caused her to just look stunned and Donna to smirk at me as I excused myself and made my way back to TM suddenly not hungry. When I pulled back into the lot I was thankful I didn’t see Hap or Alex and bypassed the ones that were sitting on the picnic benches having their lunch, walked straight into the club house and grabbed two beers and sat on one of the couches in the corner. I wasn’t alone a minute before Koz and Tig walked in and came towards me and sat down. ‘What’s up Lucy?’ Tig asked as I drained my first beer and started on my second one.

‘Nothing I just wasn’t hungry all of a sudden and needed a beer’ I said as the pair of them looked at me then at one another. ‘Seriously guys I am fine, I am gonna finish this beer then go back to Hap’s to start dinner’. Neither of them looked remotely like they believed a word that had come out of my mouth but I didn’t really want what had happened to be blown out of proportion and plus I had said everything I had wanted to say on the matter to Tara in the diner, so I finished my second beer, got up and walked out. I looked for Alex and Hap again but when I checked to line of bikes his wasn’t there so I guessed that the two of them had gone somewhere for lunch, so I made my way to the truck and went back to Hap’s.

On Friday it shocked the shit outta me when Hap brought Alex back after being at the garage all day each of them carrying a bag from the store. He said he wasn’t going back to the club house for the usual party and that him and Alex had decided that the three of us needed a film night just us and that the pizza should be delivered soon. They both went to shower and came back in sweats just as the pizza was delivered so we sat for the next few hours watching films and eating our way through the junk food that they had picked up. I wasn’t really paying attention to the second movie and decided to go sit out back and have a smoke, I had even started buying my own now. I grabbed a beer and made my way to sit on the chairs Hap had on the covered porch. I was only out here about twenty minutes when Happy joined me after Alex had done his usual trick and crashed against him. ‘You ok Lucy?’ he asked as he pulled out his own smokes and lighting one.

‘Yeah I’m fine Hap, just couldn’t get into the second movie is all’.

‘So it had nothing to do with your run in with Tara the other day?’he said and my head snapped towards him.

‘How do you know about that, I text Donna and asked her not to say anything.’

‘She didn’t but Tara must have said something to Jax cause today he asked me if you had said anything to me’.

‘It really wasn’t a big deal, she tried to act like a judgemental bitch and I shocked the shit outta her when I put her in here place.’

‘Yeah Jax mentioned that too and he ain’t very happy with her. I think he was gonna ask your dad and Koz next but since neither of them have started banging on the door yet I take it as a no so far.’

‘Jesus Christ it wasn’t that big off a thing, she tried to climb on her high horse and I just happened to make it buck and she landed on her ass. I don’t need anyone fighting my battles for me which is why I didn’t say anything.’

‘I know you don’t, I remembered that much from when you lived here but personally I think she is jealous.’

‘Of what exactly?’ I asked as I looked at him not getting what he was trying to say.

‘When she came back it was because her ex was stalking her and she was terrified, especially cause he was a fed. She was working when Abel was born and helped save his life that’s how she got back in with Jax. Lets just say the fed won’t be a problem anymore.’ He said looking directly at me and I knew what he wasn’t saying. ‘You come back into town because you were worried about your family, you had no other motive for it and even when we found out about Alex you never expected or wanted anything from us Lucy. I mean you stood there that day and told me that if we couldn’t talk about it like adults that you would simply get back in your car and drive straight back out of Charming. Do you really think that the way it happened wasn’t the talk of the old ladies for weeks after? You were always a strong and stubborn person but do you not realise just how strong you are. You have raised our amazing son for the last ten years by yourself never once asking any of us for anything and then you are willing to let us all back in your life after the way we treated you just so we can get to know him. Trust me when I say she is jealous of the person you have showed us all you really are.’ he said and got up and walked straight back into the house.

I sat there stunned at what he had just said to me, I mean I knew we had gotten a lot closer since he found out about Alex and we had managed to spend time together without it turning into a insult throwing fight like it used to years ago but I never suspected that he thought anything like that about me. I was still lost in thought when he came back out ten minutes later carrying a bottle of whisky and two glasses. After he put them on the table he informed me that he had carried Alex and put him to bed. He poured us both a glass but we didn’t talk for a long while, we both just sat and enjoyed the quiet in the warm California night.

When I woke up the next day I was not surprised to see Happy still asleep and snoring on the sofa. We had managed to drink the whole bottle between us and to say I was felling a little delicate was an understatement as I stumbled my way into the kitchen and started the coffee machine. It hadn’t even brewed when I heard a bike pull up into Happy’s drive way so I went and opened the front door and stood on the porch so the bell wouldn’t wake up either of them. Jax was just hanging his helmet on his lights when he noticed me standing there and he grinned when he got a proper look at me as he walked up the porch steps ‘Morning darling.’

‘Bite me Teller, it’s too early for this shit and I haven’t had coffee yet. Come in but keep it down Alex is still in bed and Happy is still knocked out in a whisky coma on the sofa.’ His grin got bigger as he followed me into the house and we both walked into the kitchen. After I had poured us both a cup handing him the canister of sugar remembering that it pretty much always drank it in equal parts I made my way out the back to smoke.

He soon joined me ‘so you and Hap had your own party I see’ he said eyeing the empty whisky bottle that was still sitting on the table.

‘If by own party you mean watched films with our son til he fell asleep and then drank a whole bottle between us til he collapsed on the sofa and I managed to somehow crawl into bed then yeah’ I said as I took my first sip of coffee.

‘I didn’t mean offense Luce. Its still a little weird to see you to actually get along even after all these years.’

‘We have both grown up Jax, plus we kinda have something important in common now. It wouldn’t do any good if all Alex saw was us screaming and throwing insults at each other.’

‘Yeah I get that but whatever the reason I am glad you came back. I missed my partner in crime’ he grinned at me again causing me to grin back at him. We had been very close when we were younger. It was me and Opie who had finally managed to get him sober after Tara had left him heartbroken all those years ago.

‘I wanted to apologise for what Tara said to you the other day.’

‘Jax you are not the one that needs to apologise to me so please don’t. She is an adult and is allowed to think anyway she wants about me and the choices I have made but I will not have her looking down at me for them especially when it concerns my son. I can admit now that I probably over reacted with what I said back to her but at the time the bitch deserved it. Let’s be thankful that in the last ten years I have gotten a lot better at holding the infamous Trager temper in check and I didn’t break her face on the table top.’

‘Yeah I think we are all grateful for that. She wanted to come and apologise herself but did admit that you scare the shit outta her’ he said making me smirk at him but I managed not to tell him that she should be.

‘Jax we are probably never gonna be close. Christ we never were ten years ago but I am quite capable of being an adult and keeping my mouth shut, can you say the same about her?’ 

‘Yeah I can, I told her yesterday when she finally admitted what had happened at lunch that she didn’t have to like you nor you her but she damn well had to respect you, whether she likes it or not you have ties to two members of the club and you deserve it for walking away to stop any conflict between brothers.’

‘Thanks Jax but really it wasn’t necessary. I wasn’t going to say anything about it, I swore Donna to secrecy too. I am not here to cause any drama with anyone’ I said as I got up to get us both more coffee. 

Alex came stumbling out the door about twenty minutes later looking like he literally just fell out of bed and I was thankful that the coffee had started kicking in as well as the pain killers I had took when I first got up. ‘Morning baby’ I said as Jax laughed as Alex continued to look around.

‘Morning mom, why is Happy asleep on the sofa?’ he asked as he scratched his bare chest.

‘We had a little too much to drink so he couldn’t drive back to the club house last night.’

‘Ok, I need juice’ he said as he walked back into the kitchen.

‘That was like looking at a mini hung over version of Hap’ Jax laughed and I couldn’t help but join in as we both heard a raspy fuck off from the door way and turned to see both Hap and Alex standing there both with the same look on their faces but luckily Hap still had his shirt on. Neither Jax or Hap were scheduled to work in the garage today and the way Jax had said that there was no other business to take of, which I knew that with Alex standing next to Hap still that he meant the club, we decided to go out for breakfast. Alex was suddenly looking wide awake at the mention of going on Haps bike and ran to get changed as we all finished our coffee. I went upstairs first to get changed and Hap went after me.

In the week since we had arrived the news that Happy had a kid had obviously spread through the town as when we walked into the diner me and Jax behind Hap and Alex the whole place went silence as they all looked at us. It took Happy growling what to make everyone suddenly interested with their plates and jobs as we walked back to a corner booth that was empty. We were looking at the menus when three cups appeared in front of us and I looked up from where I was sitting next to Jax to see a older waitress standing holding a coffee pot. ‘Coffee for the grown ups?’ she asked with a genuine smile on her face. We all nodded and Alex asked for a apple juice. When she came back we all ordered and Alex ordered the exact same as Happy but both him and Jax had realised over the last week just how much he could eat so didn’t question it.

Just before our food came Tig, Chibs Bobby and Juice stumbled in all looking very green around the gills. Alex saw them first and took great pleasure in standing on his seat next to Hap and bellowing ‘GRANDAD’ at the top of his voice causing everyone to turn and look at him before turning to look at Tig who just grinned and laughed as the four of them made their way over to us. Alex didn’t call Tig granddad often but took what I said before seriously about trying to embarrass him, but Tig revelled in it every time Alex said it not giving a shit who heard much to my chagrin. Our waitress never said anything when a table was pulled over to the end of our booth and the four very hungover Sons all ordered coffee and big breakfasts too soak up some of the alcohol in their systems. Alex was talking a mile a minute to them and wasn’t fazed at all about simply getting grunts and nods in return until everyone had eaten and we all had more caffeine in our systems.

Jax suggested that we all go back to the club house and Alex agreed before either me and Happy could say anything, so after the bill was paid we made our way outside with Alex going straight to Hap’s bike as I made my way to the truck. Before I could climb in I heard my name being called and turned to see David Hale walking towards me. I had never had a problem with him even though he hated Opie and Jax when we were all younger. I noticed that none of them got on their bikes when they saw who had shouted for me, but I just waved my hands at them and them knowing I could take care of myself especially with David, mounted the bikes but no engines started.

‘Hi Lucy, I heard you were back in town’ he said when he walked up to me.

‘Hi David, yeah been back week, just came to visit my dad’ I said gesturing to them all lined up behind him.

‘God he really does look like his dad’ he said when he turned and saw Alex sitting on the bike Happy wasn’t but they both had scowls on they faces and their arms crossed looking directly at us.

‘Oh yeah, no denying that. So how have you been?’ I asked as I noticed the deputy Chief badge on his chest.

‘Oh you know, not much changes in Charming’ he said not hiding the disgust in his tone and I knew he meant the Sons but refused to get into it again with him. It had been over ten years and I didn’t want the same argument with someone I had always considered a friend. ‘How long are you in town for, maybe we could grab a coffees sometime?’

‘Sure David, I am here for another two weeks before we head back to Boston but the same rules apply as before ok?’ I said hoping he remembered what I always used to say, we could be friends and he could feel anyway he liked about the Sons but they were my family and I wouldn’t listen to anyone who bad mouthed them to me.

He nodded ‘Yeah Lucy I remember and I won’t but I would like to catch up with a friend.’

‘Well Alex goes with Happy most days to the garage so I am about, how about we meet on Monday and have lunch. Say here about twelve thirty?’ I said.

‘Sure Lucy, I will see you then’ he said giving me a brief hug before walking into the diner. 

I didn’t even need to look up to know that they would all be looking at me probably glaring, but I had never apologised for being friends with David Hale and I never would. He helped me years ago when he had just joined Charming PD and as I made him promise he never told a soul about happened to me. I climbed in the truck and waited for them to start their bikes then followed them to TM. When we pulled in I saw Gemma’s car and after I saw Hap and Alex walk into the club house I got out, but walked to the office first praying she would be there so I could put off being quizzed by at least Tig and Jax about what David had wanted to talk to me about. Thankfully she was in the office when I looked around the door. ‘Hey Gemma, didn’t think you normally worked on a Saturday’ I said as I went and sat on the couch that was pushed into the corner.

‘I don’t but it seems that people don’t know the alphabet when I take a day off and everything goes to shit’ she said waving to a foot high pile of papers on the corner of her desk.

‘Pass me half and I will help’ I said. 

‘You sure sweetheart, you’re meant to be on vacation.’

‘I am sure, please I just ran into David Hale when we were leaving the diner and I don’t fancy being quizzed by that lot this early’ I said gesturing towards the cub house.

‘Don’t blame you’ she said handing me half the stack. I sat crossed legged on the floor, spreading them in front of me and then started to put them in order whilst she did the same on her desk. Within an hour we were all done and after they were put back into the filing cabinet we walked out of the office and towards the club house. When we walked in Alex was playing pool with Tig and the others were all sitting around giving him pointers on how to beat Tig. Happy noticed when we walked in and got up and walked towards me. ‘Can I talk to you outside?’ he practically growled at me as he walked outside. I smirked at Gemma who rolled her eyes at me as I turned to follow him outside. I sat on one of the benches and lit a smoke as he paced up and down in front of me. ‘What’s on ya mind Hap?’ I asked.

‘What did Hale want?’ he said when he finally stopped.

‘Wants to meet up on Monday for lunch and a catch up’ I told him honestly. ‘With Alex being with you all the time I’m free so I thought meeting up with a friend sounded fun.’

‘A friend, since when has Hale been your friend Lucy?’

‘Since we went to school together. Before you even lived here.’

‘You’re not going.’

I was off the bench instantly standing in front of him, I might be quite tall at five foot nine but I still had to look up at him with him being at least six one. ‘The hell you just say to me?’

‘I said you ain’t going.’

‘Who the fuck do you think your talking to exactly, cause it ain’t one of your whores that bows to your every command. I will never let a man you or otherwise tell me who I can and can’t be friends with so politely go fuck yourself.’

‘I don’t trust him and I saw the way he was looking at you.’

‘I haven’t seen the guy in over ten years, we were friends before I moved to Boston and I will be friends with him now. We have only ever been friends nothing more and even if he wasn’t it has got fuck all to do with you.’

‘The fuck it hasn’t you’re the mother of my son.’

‘That doesn’t mean you get a say in my life Hap, it means to get a say in his.’

‘What happens in your life effects his, don’t forget that’ he said pointing towards the club house doors.

‘Are you seriously questioning my priorities as a mother right now, cause I swear to God I will shoot you if you ever try and say that I have ever put someone before that boy in there. You absolute arrogant fuckwit.’ I screamed at him as I went to move past him knowing that if I stayed anywhere near him currently I was going to do or say something I would regret. He grabbed my arm as I walked past him and I moved without even thinking about it, I turned and swung my fist catching him in the jaw but he let go immediately to glare at me. ‘Don’t fucking touch me Lowman’ I growled as I walked towards the truck. As I put the keys in the ignition I saw Tara standing by her car staring me in shock, I didn’t even know she had pulled up as I was too busy arguing with Hap. Before I pulled out of the lot I text Gemma telling her that I wasn’t feeling well and could she tell Alex I would see him at home later, knowing that Happy, Tig or Gemma would drop him off later for me.

I was too angry to go back to Hap’s place so I decided to go to the one place that always helped me think when I was younger. The spot by the streams hadn’t changed much since I had been here last so I got out of the truck and sat against the old tree that I used to whilst I thought of ways I could beat Happy. I was still raging when I heard a bike and turned to see Koz park next to the truck, walk towards me and sit down next to me but he knew me well enough to wait til I was ready to talk. About ten minutes later I looked at him. ‘So I may have punched Happy in the face’ I said grimacing.

‘Yeah he told me plus he is getting a bruise too. Tara is actually the one who came and told me about you arguing. It was Happy who told me what about. He knows he was a dick Lucy.’

‘Please don’t defend what he said to me Koz, he can think what he likes about me but never to question the mother I am.’

‘I ain’t defending him, what he said is bullshit and he knows it. The only reason he ain’t out looking for you is Alex.’

‘I can’t believe I punched him, it was an automatic response when he grabbed my arm to stop me from walking away. I bet he wants to kill me right about now.’

‘Surprisingly he don’t Luce.’

‘Come on Koz you really don’t expect him to admit it to the one person who wouldn’t actually let him do it.’

‘It wouldn’t just be me that stopped him but that is besides the point. He knows he was a dick and I agree with him about that but have you ever thought about it from his point of view?’

‘What point is that Koz, demanding I don’t catch up with an old friend while I’m in town. Telling me that I am not going just like that. Thinking that he can treat me like one of his little whores around the club willing to say how high when he says jump. Fuck that and fuck you if that is what you’re suggesting’ I said getting up so I could pace and smoke getting angry again.

‘No Lucy that isn’t what I am saying. I am saying that he loves that kid more than he will be willing to admit and that he is probably jealous of any man who is going to be in your life regardless whether it is as a friend or not cause they will get to spend time with Alex that he isn’t. That some day if you get married that whoever he is, is going to spend everyday with Alex while he can’t. That even though it has only been a few weeks, he has got to know you on a level that he never did when you lived here. You were both so busy insulting each other to ever look at the reasons why you both did it in the first place.’

That little speech stopped me in my track as I hadn’t thought about it that way, it never crossed my mind that he would be jealous of people spending time with Alex. I was choosing to ignore the last part about me for now at least. ‘Well fuck Koz I never thought about it like that before’ I said deflating and sitting next to him again taking the unlit smoke when he offered it to me.

‘I know you didn’t and that’s ok but before this vacation is over you both need to sit down just the two of you and talk everything through. I mean what ya gonna do when he asks for visitation Luce. You have seen just how close they have gotten, do you really think that Alex is not wanna come down and see his dad every chance he gets. I ain’t saying this to upset you I am just helping you to see things more clearly’ he said pulling me into a one armed hug.

‘I know Koz, you always do, thats why you have always been my person’ I said resting my head on his shoulder and putting my free arm around his waist. 

We stayed for another thirty minutes but neither of us felt the need to talk. Before I climbed in my truck I hugged him again and kissed his cheek telling him I was going back to Hap’s but would text him later as he nodded and climbed on his bike. 

Happy

I knew the minute the words came outta my mouth that I had fucked up, she got the same look in her eyes as Tig does just before he goes nuclear. I didn’t mean it the way it came out but seeing her with Hale outside the diner made me feel things I had never felt before and I realised that when she was standing in front of me telling me she would shoot me that I was jealous not only at the fact that some guy could spend time with Alex that I couldn’t but with Lucy too. I knew I needed to calm down and explain things to her so when I grabbed her arm to stop her from walking away from me I didn’t expect her to turn round swinging but I really should of after what I had just implied to her. It shocked the shit outta me just the amount of force she was able to put behind one punch and if I hadn’t of been standing so close to her and she had been able to get a better swing on it she probably would of knocked me on my ass. I glared at her as she walked towards her car but I was honestly to stunned to do anything but watch as she tore out of the lot. I noticed Tara standing by her car staring at me but I paid her no attention as I sat down on the bench and put my head in my hands. 

Hearing the door to the club house open and close I knew she had gone inside and I hoped she kept her mouth shut about what she had just seen but the way the door flung open a few minutes later I knew she hadn’t as Koz came storming out and stood in front of me with his arms crossed. ‘What did you do?’ he all but snarled at me which was rare as he was always grinning normally.

‘I fucked up’ was all I said as I looked up at him.

‘Yeah I gathered that after Tara just woke me up to tell me she saw you two screaming at each other’ he said sitting down beside me looking slightly less pissed off, so I told him everything that had happened and he grinned at me when he said I had a bruise already coming up on my jaw from where she hit me.

‘She needs to calm down before you talk to her Hap, I have a pretty good idea of where she went too but you need to tell her how you feel.’

‘She knows I love that kid Koz and I was a complete dick for saying that shit to her.’

‘That ain’t what I’m talking about and you know it. You like her just like you did all those years ago but now you need to man up and tell her cause it ain’t a good idea for that kid in there to hear you two screaming at each other every time you are in the same room together and you’re right you were a dick. She loves that kid more than anything and I am telling you now you ever question that again and I will shoot you myself brother or not.’

‘I don’t like her Koz’ I lied to his face. ‘We would end up killing each other and I ain’t meant to have an old lady.’

‘You also said you were never gonna be a father but since you found out about the kid you have become an amazing one Hap, so please pull ya head outta ya ass and think about it. I am gonna go find her and talk to her’ he said standing up and checking he had his keys and phone before walking towards his bike. 

After he drove out of the lot I went back into the club house and Alex was still playing pool but Tig just looked at me and grinned when he saw the mark on my jaw, but didn’t say anything as I sat at the bar with a beer and Gemma came and sat next to me. ‘That was quite the argument’ was all she said.

‘yeah, shit did Alex hear?’ I asked looking over to him.

‘No Bobby took him into the kitchen and showed him his cookie stash’ she said taking a sip of her coffee.

‘God, Koz has gone to find her.’

‘Good he always the one who could talk to her when she got upset or angry. Tara came in and went straight to Koz’s room, she didn’t even stop to talk to Jax so that might help her repair the damage she managed to do in the diner the other day.’

‘How do you know about that?’ I asked and she just quirked a brow at me as she got up from her stool and walked over to Jax, Tara and Abel. I knew that I would have to go talk to Lucy as much as I didn’t want to I owed her an apology for saying what I did. I walked over to the pool table and told Alex that I had something to do and that he would be staying with Tig but I would be back soon and we could do something when I got back. He just nodded and as I made my way out to my bike Koz was pulling in. ‘She is going back to your place Hap and I calmed her down but for fuck sakes watch how ya word things ok brother.’ I nodded as I got on my bike and made my way home.

Her truck wasn’t parked in the drive when I got there so I parked and let myself in and was sitting in the kitchen ten minutes later when she walked in carrying a few bags from the store. She stopped when she saw me sitting there. ‘Sorry about punching you’ was the first thing she said to me as she walked to the counter and put the bags down and started unpacking them.

‘Don’t be I was a dick and deserved it. That is quite a decent right hook’ I said and she grinned at me finally not looking nervous.

‘You can thank my dad, Koz and Chib’s for training me when I was a teenager and didn’t have quite the control on my temper I have now.’

‘I’m sorry about what I said Lucy, I didn’t mean it. You are an amazing mom and Alex is an amazing kid and that is all thanks to you. As much as I hate to admit it I hate the thought of someone, anyone getting to spend time with him. Especially when you go back to Boston and all I get is calls and a few visits a year, I love that kid.’

‘Yeah I know you do Hap and he worships you’ she said as she came around the counter and took a seat opposite me at the table. ‘Koz talked to some sense into me. I never honestly thought about it from your point of view. We are gonna have to sort something out properly about you seeing him as much as possible.’

‘Yeah you’re right’ I said ‘before you start shouting at me I wanna help with money too’. I held my hand up to stop her from talking. ‘Listen I know you don’t need it and have managed for the last ten years but he is my responsibility too. Put in an account in his name I don’t care but I am gonna do it whether you agree or not just thought it would be easier to give up a heads up about it.’

Lucy

If I was honest with myself I had never thought about it from Happy’s point of view til Koz mentioned it to me about how it would feel for him and what shocked me more was that he actually admitted to me, never mind that he apologised to me for saying what he did. I guess we both really had changed in the last ten years. When he mentioned money he knew I would refuse but before I could he kept talking and I could see where he was coming from. He had always been loyal and loved his family. I knew that about him from when I lived here, so I didn’t put up a fight when he said he would send money whether I agreed or not so I decided that I would set up an account for Alex and if at eighteen he decided to go to college he would be able to use it for that.

‘I will sort out an account when we get back to Boston and how about when he turns eighteen he can decide what to use it for then’ I said to Happy who looked relieved that I wasn’t going to fight with him over the money issue.

‘Sounds good Luce, did you mean it about him visiting?’ he asked sounding hopeful.

‘I did Hap, but you have to know that I can’t just drop everything. I have responsibilities back in Boston. Me and Matt own the garage fifty fifty and when I get back he goes on vacation so I have to be there to run the place and you have responsibilities to the club too, but if we are both willing to talk about things and not argue we can make this work for Alex so he gets to see you as much as possible. I would never stand in the way of that.’

‘Yeah if know that, as I said it was dick move’ he said and I just smirked at him.

‘Right and about me dating’ I said and he looked angry again but didn’t say anything. ‘I rarely date Hap and Alex has never met anyone I dated either so you can stop scowling at me. I have never met anyone that I was serious enough about for that to happen, but if it ever does I will tell you cause you have just as much right to know as his dad but I expect the same from you. He doesn’t meet anyone you’re seeing without talking about it to me first and he certainly doesn’t meet any of your whores from the club. This has to go both ways Hap it can’t be you just barking orders at me and expecting to just go with it. Whether you like it or not we are gonna have to get along for at least the next eight years for Alex’s sake if nothing else.’

‘I know and I agree with everything you have just said. I have actually been thinking of going nomad again so I can spend more time going where I like so I could set up base closer to him but I haven’t said anything about it yet but I think Clay and Jax suspect it at least.’

‘I get that but I was thinking that when Matt comes back from vacation that Alex still has a few weeks before school so I could bring him back but I wouldn’t be able to stay so it would be all on you, depending on the club stuff you have to do and Gemma has already offered that Alex could stay with her if you had runs to do and he likes her so it wouldn’t be a problem on that end but I will not have him passed off to people so you can get laid on a weekend.’

‘Christ Lucy give me some credit, I am capable of not thinking with my dick all the time. I would love him to come stay with me and I am sure that Clay and Jax would let me skip the runs unless it was important for me to be there. Do you think Alex would like it?’

‘Hap you have no idea how much he loves you already. We had only been here two days when he started asking about when we could come back. He mentioned Thanksgiving and Christmas so I would say yeah he is gonna want that.’

‘Ok so if we talk to him about it then we just go from there is what your saying?’

‘Pretty much Hap, now I am going to start making dinner so you go get our boy and bring him back for about five and we can eat together cause I can tell you now that he probably knows that we argued so if he asks just tell him that we are both stubborn assholes but we have sorted it ok?’ I said getting up and opening the fridge.

‘Gemma said he didn’t hear but yeah your right he probably knows’ he said getting up and surprising me all over again as he kissed my cheek before walking out the kitchen and I couldn’t help but bring my hand up to my cheek and touching where he had just kissed me as I heard the front door shut but like I did earlier when Koz had brought it up I pushed it to one side in my mind and concentrated on making dinner.


	6. Chapter 6

Our second week in Charming wasn’t any less dramatic than the first. Alex still spent all his time with Happy either at TM whether it was working in the garage or hanging around the club house. On Monday I met David for lunch and luckily as I was leaving the garage to meet him nobody said anything about it. I think after the way I had gone off on Hap about it they all knew I was going to do it no matter what any of them thought about. ‘Hi David’ I said as I sat opposite him in a booth.

“Hi Lucy, I wasn’t sure what you would want to drink so I didn’t order anything for you’ he said as the same waitress as the other day came over with another cup in one hand and a coffee pot in the other, she gestured to the coffee pot and I nodded so she filled my cup telling us she would give us a few minutes to decide what we wanted to eat.

‘So David, how are you? Have I missed anything terribly exciting in your life in the last ten years?’ I asked taking my first sip of coffee.

‘Well I am engaged to Carol, a nurse from St Thomas, we are getting married next year’ he said to me with a sly smile on his face.

‘Oh wow David congratulations.’

‘Thanks, so what about you, anyone special’ he asked.

‘Apart from Alex no nobody special, to busy being a mom and owning my garage.’

‘Tell me about him, when I saw him the other day I was shocked to see how much he does look like Happy.’

‘Oh you have no idea David, he is an amazing kid. He knew all about my life here but I didn’t think I would ever come back.’

‘Me either Lucy’ he said, but was cut off from saying anymore when someone walked over to our table and when I looked up I was shocked to see Agent Stahl standing there smirking at me.

‘What do you want?’ I snarled at her.

‘Was just gonna check in with my colleague Chief Deputy Hale here but I was shocked when I was told he was meeting you for lunch. I thought with your affiliations that eating with the local law wouldn’t be allowed by at least your father never mind your baby daddy’ she said still smirking at me and I knew she was trying to bait me.

‘I haven’t seen my friend here’ I said gesturing to David ‘in over a decade and if you knew anything about me at all you would know that no man whether they are a motorcycle enthusiast or not has ever been able to tell me who I can and can’t be friends with so unless you would care to join us as we catch up, I will politely ask you to leave us alone as I think the local diner is not the place to discuss whatever police bull, I mean business you have. Also I do believe that David here is allowed a lunch break whenever he is on duty’ I said with false sweetness in my tone as I looked back at David and saw he was desperately trying not to grin at me. She looked pissed off when I looked back at her but didn’t say anything else as she turned on her heel and stormed out of the diner.

‘Sorry about that David, I understand if you need to go back to work’ I said.

‘Don’t worry about it and you’re right we are simply catching up. I think she never thought we would have ever been friends and I forgot just how quick you can cut someone down with a smile on your face.’

‘Yeah that is one thing I don’t miss about living here, such small minded people and it’s a talent of mine’ I said as the waitress came back over to refill our coffee and take our orders.

Once we had our food we continued to chat about how life had been for each of us over the years I had been gone and as we left we swapped numbers. We were about to part ways after a friendly hug when we both turned to the distinct noise of bikes pulling up into the diner parking lot. We were both grinning at each other as they all got off their bikes Happy and Alex included. They all walked over to us and Alex gave me a hug before turning to look at David. ‘Hello I’m Alex Lowman’ he said as he stuck out his hand and I looked at Tig to see him grinning I knew he was responsible for this.

‘Hello, I’m David Hale’ David said as he shook my sons hand. ‘Right Lucy I need to get back to the station but we should have a coffee or something before you leave for Boston’ he said as he opened his cruiser door and nodded at the Sons that were all around us.

‘Sure David, I will text you later on’ I said as he got in and then pulled away.

I turned round to see them all looking at me with innocent looks on all their faces but it was Alex who I zoned in on knowing he was a terrible liar. ‘So my dear sweet boy’ I said and his eyes went big at the tone of my voice. ‘Wanna tell me which one of these assholes told you to do that?’ I asked even though I knew it was my dad. He swallowed and wouldn’t look at me but he never said a word which caused Tig to burst out laughing then say ‘Oh shit, Lucy it was me and your face was well worth it, Alex good job at not ratting me out but we really need to work on your poker face where your mom is involved’ he said causing us all to laugh. 

We parted ways after another hug from Alex with me going back to TM to see Gemma and the boys going into the diner for lunch. When I pulled in I made my way over to the office. I refrained from walking back out when I saw Tara sitting on the sofa talking to Gemma who held Abel in her arms. I hadn’t seen her since I called her out in the diner the week before but I had told Jax the truth that whilst we would probably never be close, I was an adult and I could be civil for everyone’s sake.

‘Hi’ was all I said as I lent against the door frame.

‘Hi Baby’ Gemma said as she stood up and handed me Abel. ‘I just have to grab the list from the club house and Juice then we will be off’ she said and she walked out the door leaving me alone with Tara.

‘Hey Lucy can I talk to you real quick?’ she asked looking nervous, she stood up but didn’t get any closer to me. For Christ sake I was holding a baby, did she really think I was gonna punch her when I was holding Jax’s son.

‘Sure’ I said as I snuggled Abel closer taking a whiff of baby, I really loved that smell.

‘I wanted to apologise for the way I came across the other day, I was out of line and a judgemental bitch. I’m sorry and you were right about what you said. I have no right to judge you.’

‘Thanks Tara, I know we are never likely to be close friends but I think that seeing as we are bound to be seeing each other whenever I am here we can be polite to each other for the sake of everyone we both love and care about. I never came here to cause drama, I simply want Alex to know his extended family as well as his dad.’

‘I know and I was a bitch about it’ she said as Gemma walked back into the office so I just nodded my head as I handed her Abel.

We walked over to Gemma’s SUV as Juice got on his bike, we were going on a supply run to Costco in Lodi for the club house and Gemma had roped me in the day before saying that we hadn’t spent much time together since I got here, which was bullshit but I went with it anyway.

Three hours and many hundreds of dollars later saw us pulling back into TM, we left the prospect to unload the stuff and both decided to go grab a drink in the club house. The boys were all working in the garage and all I got was a wave off Alex when we pulled in. We both asked the crow eater for a glass of wine and went to sit on the couch next to the pool table, there were a few other crow eaters cleaning and restocking the bar. One kept glaring at me but I paid her no mind as me and Gemma were talking and we decided that over the weekend we would have a girls spa day and the boys could look after all the kids for once, which caused us both to laugh. She got up to use the bathroom when the one that was glaring at me still came from around the bar and walked up to me and put her hands on her hips.

I simply looked up at her as I took a sip from my glass before putting it on the table and raised a brow at her ‘So your the reason why he hasn’t been around much lately?’ she sneered at me.

‘I have no idea what or who you are talking about, but I am sure you have better things to do than come over here and talk about shit you have no concept of’ I said standing up but not making a move towards her, I saw Juice walk in out of the corner of my eye but kept looking directly at this crazy skank in front of me.

‘Happy, he hasn’t been around since you and that snot faced brat bastard showed up’ she whined and didn’t see my fist coming til it connected with her jaw. She went down hard hitting her head on the side of the pool table as she did but I was on her before she was on the floor, raining punches down on the whore, she could call me what the fuck she wanted but she fucked up when she brought my son into it. I wasn’t aware that Gemma had come out of the bathroom or the fact that she was shouting at Juice to go get my dad and Happy from the garage but to make sure that Alex didn’t follow until I felt arms grabbing me but I didn’t know who it was as I was pulled up and pushed into a corner still struggling to get back and kill the bitch for mentioning my son.

I didn’t stop til I heard a gravely voice in my ear. ‘Luce you need to calm down and stop struggling, your gonna hurt yourself’ and then I looked up and realised that Happy was the one who had his arms around me holding me to his chest with my arms pinned to my sides. I took a few deep breaths and started to relax as he kept telling me to calm down in my ear. 

‘You can let go, I ain’t gonna punch her again’ I said as he released me and I turned to see Juice and Chibs pick her up and put her on the sofa, as Tig stood looking at her with a small smile on his face before he turned and looked at me and I realised that all of the Sons were in the club house. I didn’t make a move and Happy still had his hands on my shoulders keeping me in place as Gemma walked up to me grinning. ‘You ok sweetheart, I heard what she said?’ she asked as she grabbed one of my hands and looked at it, I followed her line of sight and looked down to see my knuckles where bloody and swollen but as I flexed my hand I knew nothing was broken just bruised to hell from the beating I had given her.

‘Bitch deserved it for calling my son a bastard’ I said as looked over and I saw that the whore was beginning to wake up as Chibs looked at her face poking at it none to gently by the way she was whimpering. I felt Happy tense behind me but he didn’t move.

‘Yeah she did’ Gemma said as she grabbed me pulling me away from Happy and giving me a hug before moving us so that we were sitting at the bar and Tig came over and hugged me as well. He took the seat Gemma vacated as she went into the kitchen telling me she would get me some ice for my hand.

‘So much for you having the Trager temper under control baby girl’ my dad said from beside me and I turned to see him grinning at me as Happy walked over and placed my wine glass in front of me.

‘Says the man, who if I remember correctly back handed a crow eater when I was twelve who called me a whining bitch and to go play with my dolls and leave you in her capable hands’ I replied as I picked up my glass and drained it in one turning to smile thanks at Happy who just looked at me with an expression on his face, I have never seen before but before I could question him about it Chibs walked over and told us that the whore would have to go to the emergency room cause he was pretty sure I had broke at least her cheek bone, he wasn’t sure about her eye socket though. I turned and looked as Juice was helping her towards the door and I knew he would take her in the van.

Gemma came back with an ice pack and I gratefully took it as my hand was starting to throb, the others all went back to what they were doing but Tig and Hap stayed with me and both grabbed a beer as Alex walked in asking if I was ok but before I could reply Tig did. ‘She is fine Al, she just got into a little scuffle is all’ to which Alex snorted at as he went and grabbed himself a coke and stood behind the bar next to Happy.

‘So mom, who did you beat the shit out of?’ he asked after taking his first drink of coke ‘I saw Juice loading a bleeding woman into a van.’

‘Just some whore who needed to be reminded of her place baby, don’t worry about it’ I said as Happy refilled my glass as well as Gemma’s as she took a seat next to me on my other side.

‘You haven’t broken anything this time have you?’ he asked with a grin on his face.

‘No you little shit I haven’t’ I said as I removed the ice pack and wiggled my fingers at him.

‘What do you mean this time?’ Happy asked looking down at his son and I groaned knowing he was going to tell the story whether I wanted him to or not.

‘Last year some woman came to the garage like a screaming banshee and started shouting about how my mom had been having an affair with her husband and slapped my mom, so my mom kicked her ass but she broke two of her knuckles and a bone in her hand and had to have a cast on, which made her a grump cause she couldn’t work in the garage only the office. It was cool though, I drew loads of things on it’ he said still looking at Happy. Tig and Gemma both burst out laughing and when they had calmed down I told them exactly what happened.

‘I only broke my hand cause the bitch managed to dodge a punch and it landed on the concrete and I would like to point out that I was not in fact having an affair with her husband. It was the garage across town but the stupid bitch didn’t realise that I wasn’t the only female mechanic in the neighbourhood. She did when the police arrived though. The whole thing was caught on our cameras and even though we both got arrested neither one of us were charged. I had to have that fucking cast on for six weeks but trust me it took her longer to eat solid food again’ I said which caused them all to laugh again.

The next day me and Alex got up early as we were going to visit Hap’s mom Maris in Bakersfield as the boys had gone on a two day charity run down to Indian Hills. Alex was not impressed when he was told he couldn’t go but got over it when I suggested the trip to see his Grandma, which he had started calling her the day he met her. All the way there we had the windows to the truck open and the music blasting as we both sang along at the top of our lungs, neither caring what we looked like. Luckily I had convinced my dad and Hap that I wouldn’t need an armed escort, explaining that it was only Bakersfield not downtown Beirut which got me two matching scowls the day before.

Happy had gave me directions but I just rang Maris so I could use the GPS on my phone when we hit the town limits. We turned the music down and soon pulled up to a small well kept older house with a lush garden in the front and sides. Before I could even turn off the ignition Alex was out the car and Maris was already out on the porch waiting with open arms as he ran up the to her to give her a hug. I made my way slower giving them time but was soon pulled into a hug too when I reached them. When we walked inside she guided us to the kitchen and started pulling things out of the fridge as we took a seat at the table. ‘How was the drive up?’ she said as pulled out three glasses and started pouring us all iced tea from a pitcher.

‘It was so much fun Grandma, we blasted music and sang along’ Alex said as his eyes swept everything in the kitchen taking everything in.

‘It was nice’ I said ‘I forgot how much fun it is when you get on the open highway here. Not so much of that in Boston with us living so close to everything’ I said as she placed three glasses down and took a seat next to Alex opposite me.

‘Yeah I imagine so’ she replied looking at me with look I couldn’t quite decipher.

‘So how are you Maris?’ I said to change the subject which got me a grin from her and I could tell where Hap got it from.

‘Had an excellent week, even better now that my grandson is here, I was thinking after lunch we could walk around the neighbourhood and I could show you all the places your dad liked to play when he was your age Alex.’

‘That would be so cool Grandma, could I use your bathroom please?’ he said and standing up then followed her as she went to show him.

We spent the next few hours just the three of us chatting over lunch and Alex thought it was great when Maris showed us both the pictures that lined the walls, especially the ones of Happy when he was a boy. I couldn’t help but get my phone out and send him a text telling him he was adorable as a baby, knowing full well that I was likely to get one back telling me to fuck off, I still couldn’t resist. As I put my phone away Maris looked at me with a smirk on her face before asking me if I was tormenting her son which caused me to snort as I nodded.

‘Good someone needs to keep that boy on his toes’ was all she said then suggested we take that walk now. We walked for an hour before coming up to a huge park with a play section and Alex was soon off climbing things with a few boys maybe a little younger than him as me and Maris took a seat on one of the benches.

‘I meant what I said Lucy, he does need someone in his life to keep him on his toes and I have a feeling that you are just the woman for the job’.

‘Maris we are only here for three weeks then it is back to Boston for us’ I said as I watched Alex play not wanting to look into her eyes as they reminded me so much of her sons.

‘For now dear but nobody knows what the future will bring. He already mentioned he is thinking of going Nomad again so he can see him more often’.

‘He said the same thing to me but Maris I would never keep them apart’ I said finally looking at her.

‘I didn’t mean it like that dear, I saw the way you to interact. Christ I saw it all those years ago too but at the time you were both too stubborn to see anything but the distain you thought you had for each other never realising that it was being used to cover something else entirely.’ I went to speak but she placed her hand over mine which was lying on the table. ‘Lucy neither of you have ever realised that you do it, you both angle your bodies towards each other even when you are on opposite sides of a room. You both have both always been able to have silent conversations that I know most married couples of twenty years are unable to have and even if all those years ago you both used it to throw silent insults at each other. You were both still able to do it. Don’t get me wrong I am not saying any of this to upset you but you are a beautiful woman and I just wonder why after all these years you are still alone?’

‘Maris I have spent the last ten years raising my son alone’ I said gesturing towards Alex ‘that’s why I am alone, I put all my time an energy into him. I don’t need a man, what I need is to have a happy and healthy son’.

‘Again I am not saying this to hurt you or insinuate anything I am simply stating what I have seen over the years and trust me if you asked Gemma or hell even your dad and Koz they would all tell you the same thing.’

I was unable to form words with all the thoughts her words had caused especially when I added what Koz had said a few times last week before he went back to Tacoma, but I just shook my head and added them into the box in my head so that I could think of everything when I was back home in Boston and away from everything, even though I was sure that they were all seeing something that had never been there.

‘Now is not the time for any of that Maris’ I said when I could speak again. ‘This is about Alex and Happy bonding with each other, we even spoke about Alex maybe coming back down in a few weeks before school starts again but I wouldn’t be able to take anymore time off so would only be here for a weekend.’

‘I understand that dear but think about it eventually and Hap already mentioned that to me. I offered to come down and stay for a few days and I understand that Gemma is on standby if anything club related comes up.’

‘Yeah she did’ I said relieved that she was allowing the subject to be changed ‘I mentioned it to Alex and he is all for it I just need to wait til I speak to Matt my best friend and partner in the garage to sort out dates and stuff but I will do it later this week when we speak’. She just nodded at me and we both went back to watching Alex swing upside from the monkey bars with two other boys grinning the whole time. 

We made our way back to Maris’s house after another few hours of us being in the park then walking around some more. Thankfully she didn’t bring anything up that was going to seriously mess with my head. We had a nice dinner with Maris before we got back onto the road to head back to Charming and I promised to text her when we got back and we both hugged her before leaving.

That night as I lay in bed I couldn’t stop my mind from going over what Maris had said to me today and Koz the other day. We got along better since Happy had found out about Alex but when I had lived in Charming all we ever did was insult each other whenever we came into contact with one another so I really couldn’t get my head around why everyone seemed to think that it was because we liked each other. I remembered one fight we had just before we ended up in bed together which resulted in me leaving in the middle of the night nineteen and pregnant.

I had just finished one of my biggest assignments to date and decided that I was going to go to the Friday night party at the club house and get good and drunk. I deserved it, I had literally spent the last two weeks either in class, the library or sleeping and hadn’t seen anyone apart from my dad and Koz and that was only in passing. When I got to the club house at nine the party was in full swing and the place was packed but I made my way to the bar and got a beer as well as a shot of whisky and went over to sit next to my dad who was talking with Koz, Happy and Jax. Thankfully my dad didn’t have some whore draped over him yet and I got a hug as I sat down. ‘Where you been lately?’ Jax asked as I downed the shot.

‘Had a huge assignment due but I handed it in today, so thought I would come by and make sure you were all still behaving.’

‘We were convinced you had been buried under a book avalanche when we didn’t see you for a few days’ Koz smirked at me as he gestured to the passing crow eater to bring us all more beer.

‘Wishful thinking’ I heard Happy mutter from the other side of my dad causing my head to snap in his direction.

‘’Got something to say to me asshole?’ I glared at him.

‘Just said it was wishful thinking you cold stone bitch’ he said glaring right back at me and I heard my dad sigh. They had all stopped trying to get us to leave each other alone years ago, knowing that it was no good and after we throw insults and barbs at each we would go our separate ways and ignore each for the rest of the night with the occasional look thrown at each other across the room.

‘Really I’m stone cold, I ain’t the one with a score card tattooed on me, now that you dickhead is cold. Maybe if you were able to sling a few more sentences together instead of grunts you could have a real conversation with someone.’

’You want me to talk to you more, cause I have loads more things I could say to you but you ain’t worth the effort bitch.’

‘Jesus that was like being insulted when I was in middle school, when a bully hasn’t got anything else to say but is trying to look big and clever in front of his friends. You got something else you wanna say to me you complete douche canoe then come out and say it otherwise go drown yourself in whichever STD ridden snatch you are using this week.’

I could see this knuckles go white on the beer bottle he was gripping and his jaw ticking and I knew he had more to say to me but before he could my dad started speaking. ‘For Christ sake you two, can we not do this yet again. We get that you hate each other but for my sanity can you at least learn to fucking ignore each other so we don’t have to listen to the constant fighting for fucks sake.’

‘Not problem dad’ I said as I got up but glared at Happy before walking back towards the bar and took a seat next to Piney and asked for another whisky from the bar tender.

‘Still fighting with killer I see’ he said to me as he pulled me into a one armed hug.

‘Piney he is a twat and for once he actually started it’ I smirked at him as I downed the shot and he laughed.

‘You two just need to fuck and get it over and done with.’

‘What the fuck old man, I ain’t ever gonna sleep with that walking venereal disease. How stoned are you for Christ sake, I think the tequila has finally taken over your blood stream.’

‘Whatever you say sweetheart but I have the right to say I told ya so when it happens. Speaking of stoned wanna come outside and share a joint with an old man. Got some new shit that is meant to be amazing.’

‘Sounds good Piney, lets go’ I said and after he got another bottle of tequila as well as a bottle of whisky we made our way outside. Within an hour we were both shit faced and luckily I didn’t have anymore run ins with Happy but I was so stoned at that point he could say whatever he liked to me cause everything was funny.

 

I was brought out of my thoughts by the sound of a bike pulling up but I knew it wasn’t Hap as he had called Alex earlier and was still in Indian Hills on the run. I walked towards the front door and when I peeked out of the window by it saw the prospect just sitting on his bike in Hap’s driveway. I knew if I asked him what was going on that I wouldn’t get an answer so I went back into the bedroom and picked up my phone from where I had left it charging and called Happy.

‘Hey Lucy, everything alright?’ he said when he picked up.

‘Wanna explain why a prospect is sitting outside your house Hap. Has something happened?’

‘No nothing has happened I just wanted to make sure you were safe with me not being there.’

‘Jesus Hap, a little warning next time. I thought bad shit had gone down. Fuck.’

‘Shit Lucy, no I just don’t like the idea of you and Alex being there when I ain’t is all.’

‘Ok well I am gonna go try and get some sleep, is he gonna sit out there all night?’ I asked.

‘Yep but I will be back tomorrow so don’t worry about it and don’t fucking invite him in either. Let the grunt sit out there and do as he is told.’

‘Right ok Hap, good night.’

‘Night Lucy’ he said before hanging up. I really wish he had given me a warning but I knew he just wanted Alex to be safe so I left the poor bastard to sit outside all night and went back to bed determined this time to shut my brain down and get some sleep.

The next afternoon saw me sitting on a picnic bench with Gemma, Tara and Donna waiting for them to get back. Alex was playing on the playground set with Ellie and Kenny but stopped the minute he heard the bikes coming. He was at my side as they all pulled in and parked in the usual line and was across the lot before Happy had even unstrapped his helmet and was hugging him like he hadn’t seen him in months not just a few days.

‘Jesus Lucy, would you look at that’ Gemma said from where she was standing beside me as we both looked at Alex and Happy but it got everyone’s attention when Alex said something to him and he throw his head back and let out a bark of laughter before getting off his bike and throwing his arm around Alex’s shoulder and walked towards us.

‘I know Gem’ was all I managed to say before they were both in front of me Happy still sniggered and Alex grinning up at him. Tig came up to us too and kissed my cheek before walking into the club house and Alex and Happy followed him. Gemma went over to Clay and I sat back down on the bench and lit a smoke. Us leaving next weekend was gonna be a lot harder on both of them than I realised. The bond they had forged over the last few weeks was plain to anyone that looked at them together. I was startled out of my thoughts by Gemma coming and sitting back next to me and I looked up to realise that when I was deep in thought the lot was practically empty with everyone either going into the club house or home.

‘You ok here Lucy, you look like your thinking hard’ she said as she lit her own smoke.

‘Yeah I’m fine Gem’.

‘You’re so full of shit sweetheart, you’re thinking about what’s gonna happen when you get on that plane next week ain’t ya?’

‘Shit Gem get outta my head’ I laughed.

‘Not a chance Lucy. You’re thinking how hard it is gonna be on that boy when you go back to Boston. Am I right?’

‘Yeah you are as always Gem, I mean I knew when he and Tig turned up on my doorstep that they clicked straight away and it was what I always wanted for them both but shit how he is meant to go back to Boston and deal with only seeing his dad a few times a year?’

‘You know you could always come home permanently. You could work here at TM’ she said gesturing to the garage. ‘The last time I saw a bond like that it involved a four year blue eyed girl and a spiky haired goof ball who she would follow around like she was his shadow’ she smiled gently at me and I knew she was talking about me and uncle Koz all those years ago. As much as I had loved my dad it was Koz who became my person and that bond had only grew the older I got. Christ the man left his family and home for me so I knew what she was getting at but it wasn’t that simply for me and I told her that.

‘Gemma it ain’t that simple, I have a business and people how rely on me, it isn’t just a case of packing up a house and moving here. I have Matt to think about as well, he took me in when I was at my lowest point and gave me back a sense of family that I lost when all the shit went down with my dad. He has always been there for not only me but Alex as well. Shit the guys at the garage are family too, we have big get together in the summer with all of the families.’

‘I get that Lucy I really do but before long Alex is gonna need more than that, I ain’t trying to pressure you but a son needs his father, take it from me who saw first hand how her son struggled when he lost his. I ain’t saying it has to happen right now but I am simply saying that it will happen eventually. Maybe bring it up to Matt when you go back so he knows that it could happen eventually is all I am saying sweetheart’ she said as she kissed my cheek and got up and waked into the club house leaving me with yet another thing I pushed to the side in my brain to think about when I got home to Boston.


	7. Chapter 7

Thankfully our third and final week in Charming was quite calm compared to the last two. We had the spa day on the Saturday and surprisingly I got on well with Tara but that might have had something to do with the wine we had drunk all afternoon or the few joints we passed around after we had our treatments when we were all lazing in the out door whirlpool. Luckily the prospect had driven us in Gemma’s SUV cause when we came out not one of us was capable of driving. When we got back to the club house we were still laughing and the boys thought it was hilarious that we were giggling with each other. The kids were not fazed at all that we had left them with their fathers, but I think that the prospects had been left to watch them as they were still sitting on the benches like they were when we left them but the kids had been fed and were all whole so I was taking that as a win. 

The only blip came on Monday, Alex had left TM with Happy and Tig as I was helping Gemma in the office as she had Abel with her. I had no idea where the three of them were going but was not impressed when they came back a few hours later and Alex told me that Happy and Tig had shown him how to shoot a gun. Gemma must have seen the look on my face as she stood up quickly taking Abel and Alex with her saying she would be in the club house and quickly left me to deal with these two just outside the office. When I was sure Alex couldn’t hear me I turned to look at them and said through clenched teeth desperately trying to control my temper. ‘What the fuck did you two think you where doing, taking my son to shoot things? He is ten god damn years old.’

‘He is my son too Lucy and he needs to learn how to handle one’ he said and his jaw was ticking so I knew he was pissed, but at this point I really didn’t give a fuck.

‘Why the fuck does he need to know that?’

‘Cause I have them in my house and he needed to know that they are not toys. He needed to respect that.’

‘He is fucking ten Happy’ I said knowing my voice was rising when Tig decided to speak. ‘You were younger when I taught you Lucy, be reasonable.’

‘Reasonable dad really? I was living in the middle of a god damn war zone when you showed me how. We live in a fucking quiet suburb, he doesn’t need to know how to shoot a fucking gun to be respectful of them and why am I only finding out about it now? How long have you two been planning this?’ I said crossing my arms over my chest.

‘We decided earlier today but I knew you would say no’ Happy said pulling his smokes out of his kutte.

‘Ya damn right I would have said no. I should have been asked for my opinion Hap and we could have talked about it like adults not this under handed shit when you go behind my back and pull a stunt like this. Him I expected it from.’ I said pointing to Tig who huffed and crossed his arms but didn’t say anything cause he knew I was right. ‘But you I thought had more respect for me as his mom than to pull something like this. Gotta say this doesn’t fill me with confidence about letting him stay here without me when you do shit like this.’ I snarled and turned and walked away before either of them could reply. I knew I had pissed Happy off by saying that last bit but it was how I felt. I should have been consulted before they let my son hold a fucking firearm. I walked straight into the club house and told Alex we were leaving, he grumbled something under his breath, but could tell by the look on my face now was not the time to back chat me so said bye to Gemma and followed me out as we walked towards the truck. Happy came stomping over to me after Alex had climbed in and the door was shut.

‘Where the fuck do you think you are going after saying something like that to me?’ he said but didn’t raise his voice so Alex couldn’t hear him.

‘I am taking him home for dinner and I swear to god Happy if you know what is good for your health you will give me some time to calm down before I say something that can’t be taken back. I am so fucking angry right now.’ I said before walking past him and climbing into the drivers side and starting the truck.

We didn’t speak on the drive back to Hap’s but once we got inside he followed me into the kitchen and sat at the table as I pulled a beer out of the fridge and took a long pull.

‘Are you angry with me mom?’ he asked.

‘No baby I ain’t angry at you but lets just say I am not to happy with my dad or your’s right now.’

‘It was really good though, they both made me watch them as they took apart the guns and cleaned them before I could touch one mom and it wasn’t a big gun. Happy said that I was never to touch one unless I really needed too and that if I pointed it at someone I had to be prepared to shoot them.’

‘I get that baby and I am grateful that you are respectful of them, what I am mad at is that neither of them talked to me about it before taking you but listen we are gonna have some dinner just the two of us and you can go to the garage with your dad tomorrow ok?’

‘Ok mom, I love you’ he said and came over and gave me a hug before saying he was gonna go read whilst I made dinner. 

Happy

Jesus Christ that woman could piss me off like no other woman I ever knew. I thought she would be a little upset that we had took Alex shooting but the way she seemed to doubt that I could take care of him without her made my blood boil. How fucking dare she insinuate that I would put him in danger? I loved that kid more than I ever thought possible and would die to keep him safe. I needed to punch someone or something so I told Tig to meet me in the ring in five minutes and I saw him nod as I stormed over to the club house to grab a beer. Nobody spoke to me when they saw the look on my face as I walked straight behind the bar and grabbed a beer. 

When I came outside Tig was already in the ring leaning again the ropes talking to Bobby and Chibs who had come out of the garage. I spoke to no one as I took my rings and kutte off before making my way into the ring. After ten minutes everyone was out of the club house watching us and I heard Clay tell Bobby to break it up and we hugged it out when we were done before both climbing out the ring. I walked past everyone and made it back into the club house before I realised that Gemma was following me, I still felt the anger coursing through me but not like the murderous rage it was before I got in the ring.

As I sat at the bar with a bottle of whisky in front of me Gemma took the seat next to me but I didn’t look her way as I cracked the seal on the bottle and took a swig forgoing a glass.

‘I know you don’t talk much but you can listen to what I have to say Happy. I get why you took him to the warehouse today, Christ Lucy was younger when she learnt but you didn’t have the right to do it without her knowing about it. Alex didn’t grow up here Hap, he has no idea the danger that it sometimes brings. You should have talked about it with her before making that decision. He is both your kid but she has been alone in this for ten years, it’s gonna take her time to realise that she can count on not just you but any of us to be there and help her, not just with Alex but with everything Hap’

‘Who’s fault is that? I didn’t know that he even existed til a few fucking weeks ago Gem’ I all but snarled at her, she simply raised a brow at me but didn’t comment on it.

‘Well from how you reacted when she told you she was pregnant I am gonna have to say yours Hap. Do you think it is easy for her to go from having to make every decision for her son to suddenly having his dad back in the picture and now have to consider how he feels about everything she has done alone up until this point. How many other women would be willing to go back to a place where her family pretty much abandoned her when she needed them the most, not only that but take a massive step back like she has done since she has been here so you can spend as much time with him as possible, even though it was their tradition to go away together just them for years. I would say that with the amount of women that could have been your baby mama Happy you got fucking lucky it was Lucy and not one of the fucking crazy skanks who hang around here and every other club house up and down the country and used your kid against you simply cause they are desperate for a guy with a patch on his back. Now I mean this with love cause you’re family but stop being a dick, pull your head outta your ass and realise just how fucking lucky you have it before it’s too late.’

Before I could even reply she was off the stool and out the door leaving me alone with my bottle to think about everything she had just said to me. I knew I wasn’t in the right frame of mind to be around anyone at the minute so picked up the bottle and walked back to my dorm.

A few hours after smoking and working my way through the bottle as I thought about everything not only Gemma had said but what Lucy had said to me since she came here, I realised that yet again I had been a dick and would need to apologise to Lucy. Christ I think I had apologised more to her in the last two weeks than I had ever said in the last ten damn years. As I sat and thought about how I would be lucky if she let me tomorrow I could hear the music being turned up in the main part but couldn’t bring myself to move and be around anyone right now. So I simply kicked off my boots after putting the empty bottle on the floor and lay on my bed still fully clothed and closed by eyes.

Lucy

I made us a simply dinner of spaghetti and meatballs not really in the right frame of mind to concentrate on anything else and called Alex down when it was ready. We didn’t talk much during dinner but after I tidied up I went and joined him on the sofa where he was watching cartoons. ‘Mom am I still gonna be able to come here again in a few weeks. I promise not to touch a gun’ he said looking at me with a weary look on his face and I immediately felt guilty that I was the one that had caused it.

‘Alex, me and Happy are going to have to sit down together and have a long chat about how we need to talk about things concerning you, but I will never stop you from seeing him or spending time with him. I can’t see it being a problem for you to come back but I need to talk to him about everything ok?’

‘Ok Mom, thanks’ he said and cuddled into my side as we both turned back to watching the cartoons. He went up to bed a few hours later and I pulled my phone out to text Gemma, asking her if there was any chance she could come over tomorrow and watch Alex so I could go for a run. I got one back saying she would be over bright and early which I was pleased about, I missed my tread mill at home and knew a good run around town would help me clear my head a little and hopefully calm me before I spoke to Happy about everything that had happened today. 

The next morning I was up at six and felt a lot better after a good nights sleep, but I was still seriously thinking of way to get Hap’s bed back to Boston as it was the most comfortable thing I had ever slept on. I was on my third cup of coffee just after seven when I heard a car pull up. I stepped outside to see Gemma getting out of her car and making her way towards me. I was standing already in my shorts and sports bra holding my cup. ‘Morning baby’ she said as we both walked into the house, she went straight over to the coffee pot and poured herself one after grabbing the other cup off the drainer.

‘Morning Gem I wasn’t expecting you this early.’

‘Well, I thought it would be better to get here early as I suspect that Happy will be here to talk to you soon especially after I ripped him a new one yesterday after you left.’

‘God Gemma what did you say to him?’

‘Just some home truths about how lucky he is to have you as his baby mama and not one of the skanks that hang around the club is all.’ She smirked at me as I groaned at the thought of her telling Happy this, but decided I didn’t want to know all the details so I simply walked over to her and after putting my cup in the sink kissed her cheek and told her I was going to run to the park and back.

‘Baby that’s like four miles either way’ she said.

‘Yeah I know but I normally do ten miles at least three days a week on my treadmill at home, so trust me I will be fine’ I said as I grabbed my water bottle which I had placed on the table by the front door before making my way outside to stretch and heading towards the park.

After stretching I pushed my head phones into my ears, hit play on my playlist and began running towards the park. I made it in about twenty five minutes and was surprised that when I turned the last corner and saw the main gates of the park come into view I also saw Happy sitting on his bike smoking. I pulled my head phones out as I neared him but didn’t speak to him knowing that if I didn’t stretch I would cramp up on the run back. After I few minutes I was standing upright again and he handed me a ice cold bottle of water out of one of his saddle bags, which I gratefully took maybe I was used to running, but the heat in Charming was a lot different from what I was used to back in Boston and I had already drained the one I brought with me.

‘Thanks’ I said after I had finished nearly half of it in three big gulps.

‘Thought you might need it.’

‘How did you know where I was?’ I asked as I sat on the grass next to where he was parked.

‘Gemma told me when I went to mine so I thought it would be easier to talk just the two of us’ he said getting of his bike and sitting next to me on the grass.

‘Of course she did.’

‘I guess I owe you yet another apology Lucy. Christ I feel like all I have done since you got here is say sorry for being a dick to you.’

‘I am sorry too Happy. I never meant you to think I would ever keep him away from you, but we really need to learn to talk to each other whenever something concerns Alex and I get why you took him shooting. He told me that you made him watch you assemble and clean the guns before he even touched one. You have to realise that he hasn’t had the childhood I had. Yeah, Tig and Koz taught me how to shoot when I was eight but it was right in the middle of the Mayans war for fuck sake. I couldn’t even get the school bus for nearly a year. I never want him to feel scared like I did at times when I was a kid.’

‘Shit Lucy I never thought of it like that.’

‘Yeah it wasn’t fun but I had Jax, Thomas and Opie who although they were a few years older than me knew what it was like.’

‘I also want to thank you.’

‘For what, I haven’t done anything.’

‘Yeah you have Luce. Gemma talked to me yesterday and she made me realise just how much of a step back you have taken so I can spend as much time with him as possible, just so we can get to know each other. Christ not many women would do that especially after he told me about some of your previous vacations. He told me the other day that last year you took him trekking through Mexico cause he is obsessed with the Aztecs since learning about them in school.’

‘Well it is what he wanted to do plus I loved it too. He gets his love of history from me Hap.’

‘Yeah he does Luce, but you bringing him here this year is a big deal and I didn’t realise til Gem all but smacked me in the face with it.’

‘How about we both agree that when it comes to Alex we will always talk to each other, even if we disagree we can try to come up with a compromise that we can all live with so it doesn’t result in a screaming match like yesterday.’

‘Agreed but fuck Luce when did you get so grown up?’ he said and when I looked at him he was smirking at me.

‘The day I pushed out a eleven pound baby Hap’ I said and his face scrunched up at what I had just said.

‘Is that a big baby?’ he asked and I couldn’t help but laugh at him cause he truly looked bewildered by it.

‘Fuck yeah it’s a big baby the average baby is like seven pounds.’

‘Oh’ was all he said as I laughed at him, I couldn’t help it. He truly looked like he as trying to work it all out in his head

‘Hap there are studies out there that say childbirth is like having twenty bones in ya body break all at once so trust me it ain’t fun’ I smirked.

‘But what about the drugs and shit they give you?’

‘All well and good unless you have a really quick delivery like I did and there wasn’t enough time. Cause trust me I would have had anything they were willing to pump me with but in truly Lowman style the little shit came into the world quick, kicking and screaming’ I said with a smile as he started laughing. ‘Poor Matt nearly had a heart attack when I came bursting into his bedroom at two in the morning demanding he take me to the hospital. We got there and he was born fifty one minutes later.’

‘Christ I thought that shit went on for hours.’

‘Me too, but I had been having pains on and off for days and just thought that was normal til I got a massive one when my waters broke and that was it. He wanted out and boy did he make an entrance.’

‘That’s my boy’ was all he said and I didn’t have to look at him to know he was proud the dick, he wasn’t the one going through it but I just shook my head as I got up. ‘Right, well I ain’t running back now or my muscles will kill me later so I will see you later Hap, I told Alex he would see you at the garage today.’

‘Luce get on the bike, I will take you back’ he said as he got up and handed me his helmet, before I could say anything he walked towards me, strapped it on my head and pulled the straps til it fit, then turned and sat on his bike simply waiting for me to get on behind. I simply nodded, climbed behind him and wrapped my arms around him as he started the bike.

We pulled up to the house a few minutes later and Alex must have heard the bike cause he came and stood on the porch as I climbed off Hap’s bike and took off the helmet, he was still sitting on his bike and he hadn’t turned the engine off either. ‘Wanna come in and have some breakfast with us?’ I asked and he simply nodded and turned off the bike, following me up to the porch and we both got hugs off Alex before we all went inside.

Gemma was cooking breakfast when we got into the kitchen and I told them I was having a quick shower and I would be back down to eat with them then. We all sat around eating ten minutes later when I spoke. ‘Gemma I am thinking of going to Lodi to the mall later today, this one needs more shoes’ I said gesturing to Alex who was oblivious to us as he shovelled bacon into his mouth.

‘Sure Lucy, what time you thinking cause if it can wait til after eleven I will have Abel cause Tara has back to back surgeries.’

‘That will be fine. I was thinking Hap I could get some more clothes for him too and just leave them here, so when he comes back in a few weeks he won’t need to pack as much.’

‘That’s fine Lucy, hey Alex I was thinking that we could decorate that room however you want it when you come back.’

‘Sounds good Hap’ was the only reply, Alex didn’t even look up from his plate causing us to laugh.

Gemma left after having another cup of coffee but I insisted she leave the dishes to me as she had cooked. When Alex went to get dressed Happy disappeared down the hall behind him for a few minutes before coming back into the kitchen and putting an envelope next to me where I was doing the dishes. ‘Right, before you even start Luce, there is money in this’ he said gesturing to the envelope. ‘And I want you to use it for anything Alex needs today and maybe you could look for something for his room here too, so I don’t have to go shopping.’

I knew this was not an argument I was going to win so I simply nodded and picked up the envelope without even looking to see how much was in it but I could tell by how thick it was that it was at least a grand in cash and put it in my purse which was behind me on the island. 

After the two of them had left I decided to ring Matt and see how everything was going at home so poured myself another cup of coffee, grabbed my smokes and went to sit outside on the back deck with my cell. ‘Hey Matt’ I said when he answered on the third ring.

‘Hey Luce, how’s Mayberry?’ he laughed but it sounded forced.

‘It’s going good but why do you sound weird?’ I asked and I heard him sigh.

‘Me and Michelle broke up last night’ he said.

‘Aww shit Matt what happened’ I asked, knowing that he would be devastated, they had been together nearly a year and although we really didn’t get on very well we tolerated each other for Matt’s sake.

‘I went over to her place last night cause I hadn’t seen her in a few days and when I let myself in she was fucking her ex on the sofa.’

‘What the fuck, that bitch!’ I shouted ‘I am gonna throat punch the gash if I see her again.’

‘And I will probably let you too, the bitch had the nerve to say that I had been distant these last few weeks and she got lonely. It is only cause I couldn’t be at her beck and call every night cause I can’t leave the dogs alone all night and she used it as an excuse.’

‘Shit Matt, I am sorry if it is my fault, I knew I should have just boarded the dogs.’

‘Naw Lucy, don’t you dare try and blame yourself for this. I always have the dogs when you go away just like you have my two beasts when I do’ he said referring to his two cats who always moved into mine when he went on vacation, them two and all the dogs got along surprisingly well and even played together all the time.

‘So I take it you ain’t taking her back then.’

‘Not a chance in hell, I even cancelled the holiday this morning, no way in hell I am going on a romantic cruise by myself surrounded by loved up couple. I plan to spend the two weeks I have off in a drunken stupor’ he said causing me to laugh cause we both knew that it only ever took about four beers before he started giggling like a school girl. He had always been a light weight where alcohol was concerned.

‘So you’re gonna mope for two weeks then start trawling for your next conquest?’ I asked after I had stopped laughing. He was a serial relationship guy, never one for one night stands and I knew he would rope Hank in from the garage to be his wingman.

‘Pretty much Luce, hey I have to go the guys are back with another tow but I will see you in a few days ok?’

‘Ok Matt, but you know to ring me if you need me right?’ I said knowing that he was gutted about what the bitch had done no matter how he tried to mask it. He really loved that girl and had said just a few weeks ago that he could see himself asking her to marry him, much to my horror but I just nodded at him and kept my mouth shut about it.

‘I know Luce, I know. Love ya’ he said.

‘Love ya too Matt.’ I said before I hung up.

Just after eleven, I had just closed my laptop after booking our flights home, as well as the ones to bring Alex back in a few weeks when I heard a car horn beep from outside so I grabbed my purse and made my way outside to see Gemma parked at the curb in her SUV. We talked on the way to Lodi and she told me that she needed to get more things for Abel as well as some new boots for Clay, but I knew as well as she did that she never needed any excuse to shop, she had always been like that especially when her and Luann got together. They had used me as an excuse for years since I was the only girl around and would go as often as Clay, Otto and Tig could be persuaded to hand over cash. I eventually told them when I was about twelve that I hated shopping much to their horror but they would simply go without me knowing that I was never a girly girl and knew what I liked to wear.

We decided to hit the shoe store first as I needed new sneakers for Alex as well as some boots for when he was on the Bike with Hap. I had told Donna a few days ago that I would give her Alex’s old ones for Kenny as he was a few years younger and plus Alex had massive feet for his age. She had happily accepted knowing just how expensive kids shoes were and the fact that they were hardly worn before I had to buy Alex new ones.

Whilst Gemma went to pick out boots for Clay, I walked over to the sneakers and picked two pairs up for Alex and after getting the right size in both made my way over to where Gemma was to get boots too. I saw a pair that were nearly identical to the ones Happy wore and knew that Alex would like them so picked them as well. By the time I had paid Gemma came up behind me pushing Abel’s stroller and when I turned around with my bags I laughed as she had a sales assistant beside her carrying at least eight boxes and knew she had only bought one pair for Clay. ‘What they were all on sale’ she said as I continued to laugh. 

We decided to get food before we went to anymore stores as Abel would be due a feed soon anyway.

‘So how much did Happy give you to come shopping?’ she asked with a smirk as our salads where delivered.

‘No idea, he handed me an envelope and I didn’t see the point in arguing with him so I simply put it in my purse not even bothering to count it. We already talked about him sending money every month for Alex and even though it isn’t necessary I know he is going to do it regardless so I’m gonna open another account for him and he can use it as he like when he turns eighteen.’

‘Best way baby, you may have been gone a few years but I bet you can remember just how much pride these men have and Happy has never been one to shun his responsibilities, no matter what they are.’

‘Yeah I remember that all to well Gem, you should have seen the reaction I got the first day we got here and I offered him money for all the food he had bought.’

‘Oh I can just imagine sweetheart’ she laughed and we ate the rest of our food and after Abel had been fed we decided to hit the rest of the stores, even though she only bought one bag of stuff for Abel by the time we got back to the car she had at least another dozen. When we were on our way back home we decided to go straight to her house so she could put them away before Clay got home.

Before I knew it Friday was here and we were going home tomorrow. Gemma had planned a family party at TM for later this afternoon and after Happy had left with Alex for the garage I set about cleaning Hap’s house so it was ready for him tomorrow. After scrubbing everything and then packing for the next few hours I knew all I would have to do in the morning was strip and change the beds. I had left pretty much half of Alex clothes in the closet in his room, as well as the stuff I had bought when I went shopping with Gemma. By three thirty I was pulling into TM and I noticed that the garage had been closed early and that there wasn’t the usual crow eaters floating about like they usually were at this time on a Friday. When I parked and got out I could already smell that the grills had been lit and when I turned towards the club house I saw everyone was sitting around the benches, but couldn’t see Hap or Alex but they came out of the club house when I was walking over and I could see that Alex looked sad and I knew it was cause we were leaving tomorrow.

I walked straight over to Alex and he smiled when he saw me but it wasn’t his proper smile, so I did the only thing I could and pulled him into a hug and when I glanced up still hugging him I saw Happy watching us with a look on his face that matched Alex’s but the only difference was he didn’t try and mask it. He looked devastated and I felt even more guilty about the whole situation, but I put a brave front and was going to try my best to enjoy this for everyone’s sake. Within an hour we were all eating and Alex looked happier as he sat next to Happy talking to everyone but the guilt I was feeling hadn’t gone away as I looked around at my family. I excused myself, walked into the clubhouse, sat on a sofa and pulled out my cell to ring Koz, after it had rang til his voicemail kicked in I hung up and just sat with my head in my hands. I didn’t even hear the door open and someone walk in til I felt the sofa dip as someone sat down next to me and an arm go around my shoulders ‘Hey Baby, you doing ok?’ I heard my dad say as I lifted my head.

‘Not really dad, how am I meant to take him back to Boston tomorrow and pull him away from his father? They adore each other and currently I feel like the world’s shittiest mother’ I said hugging myself closer to my dad.

‘Listen here Lucy cause I am only gonna say this once, you are an amazing mom to that boy. You have raised him single handed for the last decade and he turned into a caring, sarcastic and loving young guy and that is all down to you. Yeah you have to go back tomorrow but he knows that we are all just a phone call away if he needs any of us. Do you know that over the last three weeks he has managed to get everyone of our numbers? Christ the kid texts me every night just to say goodnight even when we have all been together during the day. Yeah he is gonna miss Happy but he also knows that you have people depending on you back in Boston and I heard him and Hap talking before you got here about that very thing so stop beating ya self up over something that can’t be changed over night.’

‘Thanks dad and I know your right it’s just I didn’t think it would be this hard for either of us. I never thought that spending three weeks back here would make it feel like home again, I always thought Boston would be where I always lived.’

‘I get that but sometimes life has a way of saying ha-ha fuck you for getting too comfortable’ he said causing us both to laugh.

We sat in silence for a few more minutes before we both grabbed a beer and made our way outside to join the others and we spent the next few hours shooting the shit and enjoying being all together before I decided it was time for us to go as we had an twelve o’clock flight to catch so would have to leave about ten in the morning. It was decided that we would all say goodbye now instead of in the morning for Alex’s sake. Happy and Tig were the only ones coming to the airport this time too. I wasn’t surprised when Happy stood up to leave with us and I knew he was likely to crash on the sofa again like he had the last few nights to spend more time with his son. 

A few hours later saw Happy carrying Alex yet again to bed as he was out for the count, when he came back out I decided to try and get some sleep but I knew it was unlikely but thought I may as well try. By two am I had yet to close my eyes, so decided to go smoke on the porch so I quietly made my way through the dark quiet house hoping I didn’t wake Happy up but wasn’t surprised too see him sitting out there already when I opened the door.

‘You couldn’t sleep either then’ I said as I lit my smoke.

‘Nope’ was all he said not even looking at me.

‘Please don’t go back to the way we used to be Hap.’

‘I ain’t Lucy I just don’t know what to process everything I am feeling right now.’

‘Yeah I get that, I tried to ring Koz earlier but got no answer and surprisingly Tig helped me with everything’. I snorted.

‘Despite whatever everyone thinks he is good at getting to the heart of things. He just lets people think he is a dick to fuck with them half the time.’

‘Yeah just like how you let people think you’re an uncaring monster and don’t care about anything and don’t try and deny it Hap, but no one can deny that you adore your son and are gutted that this time tomorrow he will be on the other side of the country’ I said.

‘Yeah I can’t Luce but I also know that you feel guilty for it but this ain’t on you Lucy. You were forced all those years ago to make a new life for yourself and that is exactly what you have done. I know you have loads of guys working for you and that your turn over is a lot higher than TM even so I get why you have to get back but it doesn’t mean I like it or that I am not going to miss you both when you do’ he said shocking the shit outta me once again when he said he was going to miss me not just Alex.

‘Surprisingly I am gonna miss you too Hap, as much as it pains me to admit it your a good guy when we ain’t both being assholes to each other’ I said as he snorted out a laugh at what I had just said.

We both sat they for hours smoking and not really talking and I can admit that he was a good person to just sit with, neither of us feeling like we had to make idle conversation and before we knew it the sun had started to rise so I got up to put coffee on and decided to go shower and get ready then I could at least remake that bed before Alex even got up.

As I walked through the kitchen with my arms full off the bedding Happy was sitting at the table but glared at me. ‘What the hell Luce, you didn’t need to do that?’ he said.

‘Tough it’s done now so shut it’ I simply said not stopping just walked into the garage where his washer and dryer were, thinking he was gonna shit when he saw what I had done later in the day. I had arranged for Gemma and the prospect to go shopping for food to fill this fridge when he came to the airport with us later and had already filled his freezer with enough meals to last him at least a month but since I would be in the air when he discovered it I wasn’t overly concerned about his reaction, which caused me to smirk too myself as I started the machine after putting in the detergent.

By eight saw Tig here and Alex awake and I cooked us a breakfast but none of us had much to say as we ate and at nine thirty we were ready to go with Happy and Alex going in the truck and me riding with Tig to give them a few more hours just the two of them.

When we got to the airport we parked and all four of us walked in with me and Tig going over to check in our bags whilst Happy and Alex went and sat down and when I looked over Alex had his arms around Happy’s neck and looked like he was squeezing the life out of him, but Happy didn’t looked at all fazed and simply hugged him back. When our flight was called I hugged my dad and told him I would text him when we got home and even hugged Happy but only briefly as Alex hugged him again before we made our way through to the gate.


	8. Chapter 8

We had been home a few days and I still felt out of sorts with myself and I had no idea why. When we got home on the Saturday Matt had come over with the dogs and you would have thought it had been three years since they saw us not three weeks. Alex was taken off his feet and covered in dog kisses but even that didn’t make him smile like he normally did and after we had take out for dinner, since my fridge was bare til I could go shopping tomorrow, he went upstairs to call Happy and then read. Matt looked concerned as we both watched him go upstairs, the dogs trailing behind him. I explained just how close him and Happy had gotten and it was going to be tough for him not seeing his dad everyday. Matt just nodded and we soon started talking about other things avoiding the topic as well as Michelle and he went home a few hours later.

A few days later we were at the garage when a police cruiser pulled into the lot, which in itself wasn’t an unusual thing sometimes they had to ask around for stolen cars or parts, so I thought nothing of it until two officers walked over to the office and I heard my name mentioned. I wiped my hands on a rag and gave Hank a look to say for him to keep Alex occupied as he was working with him on a VW Bug, he nodded as I made my way over and Tracy the college student who did the paper work on school holidays excused herself and shut the door behind her.

‘Miss Trager?’ the taller one asked.

‘Yes that’s me but please call me Lucy’ I said taking a seat and gestured to the other ones opposite the desk.

‘I am afraid I have some bad news’ he said and my mind went straight to thinking something had happened to my dad and me being his next of kin. I could feel my heart rate triple as I looked between the two officers.

‘About an hour ago there was an accident over by 5th, a semi ran a red light and hit a car head on killing the driver instantly. The car was registered to a Matt Gardener, we have used finger prints to make the official identification and you were listed as his next of kin. I am so terribly sorry for your loss, is there anyone you would like us to call?’ He said and for a few minutes I sat there looking at him thinking that there had to have been some kind of mistake, Matt couldn’t be dead. I only saw him last night when he and Hank came over for dinner before going to a bar. I managed to speak. ‘My son is in the garage working with Hank, could you get Hank but leave Alex out there? One of the guys will watch him.’ The smaller officer nodded and got up to do as I asked. A few minutes later they both came back in and the taller officer whose name I still couldn’t remember asked if he should tell Hank what he told me. All I could do was nod my head, speech seemed to have evaded me yet again. I still couldn’t grasp what he had said to me.

I vaguely remember the officers leaving and Hank crouching down in front of me and pulling me into a hug. He asked if he should call Koz for me, knowing that he was always the person I went to when shit hit the fan and all I could was nod as he took my cell from my pocket. I could hear him talking for a few minutes but couldn’t tell you what he said if you held a gun to my head.

The next thing I remember was being at home with Alex and Hank but having no idea how any of us got there. I later found out that Hank told Alex I was in shock and that I would explain everything to him in a little while, but at the time I was oblivious. I must have spent hours just sitting in a chair in my kitchen, which I later felt guilty for as Alex still didn’t know about his uncle Matt but god bless Hank who stayed with him, playing computer games upstairs in his room and even ordered pizzas for dinner. I was snapped out of it all when I heard the front door open hours later, I felt arms go around me and when the smell of leather, smoke, grease and his aftershave hit me I broke down. My body shook with the force of my sobs as Koz picked me up and sat me on his lap like I was five and simply held me. After a while I calmed myself but didn’t get up from Koz’s lap, I just simply let his presence calm me down knowing that I was going to have to pull myself together and be strong when I told Alex. I got up to go wash my face in the downstairs bathroom and asked Koz to go get Alex knowing that I had to do this now and as I walked back I saw Hank by the front door, he simply nodded at me as he left and Alex looked confused as to why Koz was here. 

‘Come have a seat baby’ I said gesturing to the sofa. He still looked unsure but made his way over as did Koz who took a seat on Alex’s other side. ‘Alex I have some bad news baby, you know that the police came to the garage today?’ I asked and he nodded. ‘Well it was about uncle Matt baby, he was in a car accident and I am sorry to tell you that he died baby’ was all I managed as my eyes started to fill with tears. He looked at me for a minute before he burst into tears and threw himself at me sobbing into my neck as I wrapped my arms around him. After a few minutes although he was still crying he said into my neck ‘Mom I want my dad’ before sobbing again. I looked at Koz as he nodded at me and got up to make his way towards the front door whilst pulling out his cell before stepping outside.

Koz 

I knew the moment I stepped into the club house that morning and heard Lee yelling at the prospect that he was a dumbass for saying that it was too quiet around here lately that my day was going to be shit, you never tempt fate like that. Lee was right he was a dumbass. By nine am I had lost two of my tools and jammed my finger three times, that prospect was looking to get his ass kicked before this day was through. Just then my cell started ringing and as I fished it outta my pocket I smiled when Lucy’s name came up on the display. ‘Hey Luce’ I said and I knew I was smiling as I walked over to the bench to have a quick smoke.

‘Koz it’s Hank.’

‘What’s wrong Hank man, why you ringing me off Lucy’s phone?’ I barked and my smile disappeared and I saw Lee’s head shoot up at the mention of Lucy’s name.

‘It’s not Lucy Koz, the police were just here. Matt was killed this morning in a head on collision and I knew to call you’ he said in a rush.

‘Shit, right ok I will be on the first flight out. Tell her I will be there as quick as I can ok?’

‘I will but I think she is in shock man.’

‘Of course she is, take her home man. Is Alex at the garage today?’

‘Yeah.’

‘Well take ‘em both but don’t say anything to Alex, that has to come from Lucy. I am gonna go book my flight but I have your number, I will text you when I know.’

‘Ok Koz, see you soon.’ He said as Lee walked over and placed a hand on my shoulder to top me pacing. ‘What’s going on Koz?’

‘Lucy’s best friend was killed this morning, the police have just told her. That was Hank one of the guys from the garage. I have to go out there. She is gonna be crushed man.’

‘Of course lets get the prospect to book you the first flight out, but a word of warning now that the cat is out of the bag about Alex I suggest you ring Tig or Happy as soon as you get to Boston’ he said and I knew he was right. I had told him all about Lucy and Alex after she came to Charming and he was shocked to learn about Alex, but we both knew that when I would take off a few weeks a year, I was going to see Lucy but he never questioned me about it. Within minutes of us walking into the clubhouse we had my ticket booked and I had an little over an hour to get to the airport so Lee took me in the van and I explained when he asked that no I didn’t need to go home first to pack or grab my passport, as I kept that in my saddlebags and that I had enough clothes at Lucy’s to last me at least a few days. After that I would buy whatever I needed once I was there.

We made it with time to spare, he told me to text him later when I knew what was happening and that I had to ring someone in Charming and let them know what was going on which I would be only after I had spoke to Lucy first.

The flight was the longest five hours of my life but I was lucky that because I had no luggage I got to the front of the taxi queue and all but shouted Lucy’s address at the driver and ignored any attempt he made to make small talk. Thankfully after a few minutes of me ignoring him and looking out the window for the familiar signs we were reaching her neighbourhood he shut up and sped up a little. I threw a fifty at him knowing that he was getting at least a twenty dollar tip but didn’t care as I raced up the steps and let myself in. Hank was upstairs with Alex, I could hear them when I opened the front door, but I knew Lucy was in the kitchen from the texts Hank had sent me earlier. I walked in and wrapped my arms around her and that seemed to break whatever trance she had been in and she started sobbing as she clung to my kutte as if her life depended on it. I simply scooped her up and put her on my lap like I did since she was four years old neither of us caring that she was now thirty.

When she calmed down she asked me to get Alex when she went to wash her face, just as I was seeing Hank out she came outta the bathroom and asked Alex to sit by her on the sofa and I went too and sat down on his other side. When he burst into tears and sobbed into her neck it took all my strength not to sob myself. When he asked for his dad I knew that by the look Luce gave me that she wanted me to ring Happy and let him know, so I made my way outside so I could smoke as I made the call. I tried Happy first but when it clicked to his voicemail for the third time and the same with Tig’s I decided that Gemma was my next call and let out a sigh when she answered on the third ring. ‘Hey Koz, what’s up?’ she asked. 

‘Hey Gemma, I don’t suppose you know where Happy or Tig is at right now do you?’ I asked praying that she did.

‘They are both in church right now, is everything ok?’ she asked sounding wary just as I heard the others in the background and I knew that church had just finished.

‘Not really Gem’ I said as she told me to give her a minute and then she must have covered her phone as I heard her shout a muffled shut the fuck up before her voice came back on the line. ‘Sorry Koz what were you saying?’

‘I got a call this morning, I’m in Boston now, Matt Lucy’s best friend was killed this morning in a car accident and Hank her manager at the garage rang me. I haven’t been here very long but we just told Alex and he asked for his dad.’

‘Aww shit Koz, give me a minute and I will ring you straight back, all the guys are here so I will explain and get right back to you ok?’ she said but didn’t wait for my reply before hanging up.

Happy

When the doors opened and we all started walking through them I saw Gemma sitting at the bar with a concerned look on her face. I turned to my left and caught Jax’s eye and he looked at his mom then back at me before shrugging as we walked towards the bar. We all seemed to stop at the same time when she took the cell away from her ear and pressed it against her chest before screaming at us all to shut the fuck up then she started talking again before hanging up and looking directly at me as I grabbed my cell from the cigar box. ‘Hap that was Koz on the phone, Lucy’s friend Matt was killed this morning and Alex asked for his dad’ she said as I looked down at my cell and saw missed calls. It was Clay you seemed to snap out of it first. ‘Right Juice get on that computer of yours and book a flight for Happy to Boston ASAP’ he said.

“Me too’ Tig and Gemma said at the same time and Clay just nodded as I fished out my wallet and handed it to him telling him that there was a credit card in there he could use as I made my way to my dorm to grab my bag with Tig hot on my heels. When I came back Gemma wasn’t there, Clay said she had gone home to pack a bag and that there was a flight in two hours and we would pick her up on the way. I made my way outside and dialled Koz’s number as I stood by the van waiting for Tig.

‘Hey Bro’ he answered.

‘Hey Koz, we will be on a flight in two hours so we should be there in the middle of the night but we will come straight there ok? How are they both doing?’

‘Lucy is gutted man and when we told Alex all he said between sobs was that he wanted his dad.’

‘Right, well I will text you when we land brother, thank for being there for them and for calling.’

‘Always brother, see you soon.’

Whilst the circumstances were really shitty it made me feel amazing that he asked for me not only that but that he had called me dad. He never did when he was here and I got it, Christ the kid explained it to me after being together for a few days. That he knew I was his dad but he had always thought of me as Happy and that he would call me that until he felt comfortable calling me dad. I couldn’t wait to actually hear him say when I was actually there in front of him but if it didn’t happen then I didn’t give a shit. He needed me right now and that was all that mattered, shit I wanted to be there for Lucy too. I knew how much Matt meant to her and just how much he had helped her when she first left Charming. I didn’t think I would miss her as much as I did when she left to go back to Boston, I knew it was a given that I would miss Alex but in the last four days since they left I hated even being in my house, which was ridiculous but it wasn’t the same when I opened the front door and she wasn’t pottering around in my kitchen or sitting on the sofa watching cartoons with Alex.

She had somehow managed to burrow her way into my brain yet again and I couldn’t seem to get her out of it, what scared the shit outta me the most was that I honestly wasn’t sure I wanted to either. I managed to stop thinking about it when Juice and Tig walked out of the clubhouse and towards me. Tig with a bag on his shoulder and Juice carrying my wallet, which he handed back to me tell me that it came to fifteen hundred dollars for the flights but I didn’t give a shit, there wasn’t anything on the card I simply had it for emergencies just like this. When we got in the van, both in the back, Clay slid into the drivers seat and I heard the sound of bikes starting and I knew we were getting an escort to the airport. I didn’t pay any attention to what they were both talking about as we made our way to pick Gemma up. After we picked her up we got to the airport in record time, but I can honestly say I couldn’t remember the drive, I was desperate to get to Boston. When we parked and the others had stopped their bikes Clay told us that he had contacted the New York charter and that there would be two loaner bikes waiting for us at the airport when we reached Boston and I was grateful that I wouldn’t have to be stuffed in a cage, especially since I hated flying to begin with. He hugged us all and whispered something in Gemma’s ear just before he released her and we made our way into the airport. Within the hour we were in the air and when I was asked if I wanted a drink, Gemma answered telling the girl who was trying to flirt with both me and Tig to get us all a whisky which earned her a dirty look but we got our drinks.

Thankfully Tig wasn’t his usual talkative self and I was grateful for that cause I might just have had to choke him with a puke bag if he had. I was just starting to doze off when the captains voice told us we would be landing soon, I had been so lost in thought the last few hours I didn’t realise how much time had passed. When we finally managed to get out of the airport I was relieved to see our brothers from the New York charter were there to meet us. They had the two bikes waiting for us and it was decided that Gemma would ride in the flat bed with a prospect and they would follow us to Lucy’s house before making their way back to New York. I was glad I had thrown on a hoodie over my kutte before we left Charming as not only did I make it easier going through airport security, but it was lot colder here even in the summer at this time of night than it was back in Charming. I sent Koz a text telling him that we had landed and that we would be there soon before I started the bike and we all made our way. I didn’t care about waking her neighbours up when we got there, but six Harleys did make a lot of noise on the otherwise quiet street. I didn’t bother to grab my bag out of the truck or do anything but nod at my brothers as I parked and made my way straight to the front door just as Koz opened it. I gave him a hug and kicked off my boots at the front door, he told me that they were both asleep in Lucy’s room and I didn’t care if she would be upset I was getting into that bed to be with not only my son but her as well.

Lucy

After about an hour after Koz came in from making his calls I finally felt Alex relax completely against me and I knew he had cried himself to sleep on me and I was grateful that Koz picked him up off my lap because I didn’t think I would have the strength to do it myself. Koz didn’t need me to tell him to take Alex into my room, he just knew that Alex would want to be close to me tonight and when I walked in behind him he had pulled the comforter back and put Alex in the middle of the bed. After giving him a hug and kissing his cheek I slipped into the bathroom to sort myself out but after a quick shower all I wanted to do was crawl into bed and hold my son close to me so I did just that. Koz had told me downstairs that Happy was on his way and for Alex’s sake I would be eternally grateful that he had dropped everything to come here when he was needed the most.

I had no idea how long I had slept for when the distinctive roar of Harleys roused me from sleep, but I didn’t have the energy to get up and see. I was just dozing back off when I heard my bedroom door open and as I opened my eyes again I saw Happy standing there silhouetted from the hallway light. He didn’t close the door shut yet as he took off his hoodie and kutte before gesturing at the space beside Alex, I just nodded as he shut the door and I felt him climb in beside Alex, he put his hand on his back next to where I had mine. Alex turned over so his back was to me but didn’t wake up as he clung to Happy and I could see from the little light coming from where I had left the bathroom door ajar that he fisted his hand into Happy’s t-shirt. I put my hand to his back again and after a few minutes of mine and Hap’s hand brushing each other he linked his fingers in mine and squeezed a little as I drifted back to sleep. The next time I woke up I was facing the other way but felt something heavy laying over my middle, when I looked down I saw a tattooed arm and knew Happy was still asleep behind me and that Alex must be downstairs with Koz. I didn’t even care that it was Happy hugging me close just thankful that it was happening and couldn’t stop myself from burrowing back, closer to his chest even though there wasn’t much space between us as it was. His arm tightened around me and I felt as much as heard his rasp ‘Morning Lucy’ onto the back of my neck where his head was buried.

As comfortable as I was I knew I had to get up and check on Alex, so when I moved to get up he raised his arm but didn’t make a move to get out of bed as I stood and made my way to the bathroom. When I came out he was sitting on the side of the bed still wearing his jeans and t-shirt but his wallet was on the dresser along with his Kutte but couldn’t see his hoodie. I walked over to were my robe was hung up on the back of the door and slipped it on over my sweats and vest top and without looking at him said ‘Thanks for coming Hap, it means a lot. All he wanted last night was his dad.’

‘Of course I came Luce and it wasn’t just for him’ he said as he walked out the door, Christ I didn’t even hear him get up.

Shaking my head I made my way downstairs and wasn’t shocked when I heard Alex bellow dad and when I got to the bottom of the stairs he was launching himself at Happy wearing his hoodie even if it was massive on him as he started crying all over. I looked up and saw Gemma and Tig standing in the kitchen doorway and gave them a weak smile, I should have known that they would both be here for us, I got hugs from both of them and was thankful that the coffee pot was full in the kitchen. The three of us sat in the kitchen drinking coffee, Koz was still asleep upstairs Alex and Hap were sitting together on the sofa, it was Gemma who broke the silence. ‘Lucy what needs to be done first today?’ she asked.

 

After I glanced at the clock on the wall I said “well Hank opens the garage today and he will let the other guys know. I will have to go there at some point today and see them but I need to start making arrangements for the funeral. I was his next of kin on all official documents so it is down to me.’ Before I could say anything else Koz came stumbling into the kitchen, made a beeline for the coffee and dropped a kiss on my head before taking a seat.

‘Why don’t we see what Alex wants to do, whether stay here with Hap or with you? Either way I will help you make all the arrangements.’ Gemma said getting up to make another pot of coffee when Happy came through the door telling us that Alex had fallen back asleep on the sofa.

‘Sounds good Gemma thanks. I have no idea where my cell is either’ I said looking at the counter where I normally charge it.

‘I plugged it in Luce, its on your bedside table’ Koz said looking more awake now he had drank some coffee.

‘Why don’t me, Tig, Koz and Alex go to the garage today and see if we can help out with anything that is important whilst you and Gemma sort out the funeral?’

All I could do was nod as I looked at him and I could feel my emotions getting the better of me. I couldn’t believe that my best friend was gone and quickly excused myself to go to the bathroom.

By four o’clock that afternoon saw me and Gemma pulling into the garage, already had arranged a funeral for four days time on the following Monday. Matt wanted to be cremated and we couldn’t have an open casket but I knew he would want people to be able to say goodbyes and that just me and Alex would spread his ashes later, just us. I had an appointment to meet with our lawyer tomorrow. We both used the same firm for ourselves as the one we used for the garage, so at least I would know them. The mood was sombre when I got out of the car and Alex was elbow deep in a engine with Happy and he didn’t even look up when I pulled in. I knew he was still devasted but when we asked him this morning he wanted to go to the garage as long as Happy was going too. Hank walked towards me and I introduced him to Gemma and the three of us made our way to the office, Tracy excused herself after giving me a brief hug and telling me she was sorry for my loss. 

Hank explained when we were all sitting down with a coffee that he had called in some help from a couple of extra mechanics and the ones we had full time understood that for the next few weeks at least overtime would be a must. Luckily I only had three custom jobs booked in for the next few weeks and he had rang them and explained, they were all thankfully understanding that it might take me a little longer than was first discussed. He also said that he was willing to take over running the garage for as long as I needed and that Tracy was also willing to come on full time since she was still on summer vacation from college. Hank was the longest employee we had and he was our first hire when we opened the garage. We gave him a chance when he was released from prison ten years ago for attempted murder but when he explained that he was charged after he caught the man that had murdered his girlfriend he lost control. He served ten years and was only thirty two when he was released, he had been with us ever since and was someone I considered family. I was grateful that he had sorted it all out so it was one less thing I had too do. I excused myself going over to see Alex and Hap who were taking a break and sitting together on one of the benches. ‘Hey guys’ I said dropping a kiss on Alex’s head before sitting opposite them and I got a nod of both of them. ‘I am going over to uncle Matt’s soon to get the cats and bring them to ours Alex, you want to come with me or stay with your dad?’ I asked.

‘I wanna stay with dad if that’s ok mom.’ he said.

‘That’s fine baby’ I said and glanced at Happy and although his facial expression never changed I could tell by his eyes that he was over the moon that Alex was now calling him dad but I never said anything simply telling them I would see them soon at home and that me and Gemma would be making dinner for about six o’clock.

The hardest part of my whole day was standing outside Matt’s front door trying to convince myself to open it. I knew that when I did and I saw all his stuff and the fact that he wouldn’t ever shout from the back of the house like he normally did would break my heart. After Gemma gave my shoulder a gently squeeze I put the key in the lock and slowly pushed the front open to be greeted with Dumb and Dumber both staring at me from their usual perch on the stairs, when they saw it was me they came bounding down the steps to rub around my legs purring loudly. I kept my tears at bay til I hit the wall of pictures in the hallway, most of them had Alex in them from the minute he was born to one taken just before we had left for Charming that I didn’t even know he had taken, never mind framed. He always said that Alex was his only chance at having a nephew, he was a only child and both his folks had died just after he finished high school. I couldn’t tell you how long I stood there and cried, I didn’t even make a sound the tears just tracked down my face as Gemma wrapped her arms around me from behind giving me support but not saying a word. Gemma volunteered to empty the fridge once I had pulled myself together so I could wrestle the two cats into their travelling crates and before long we locked the house back up and had both the unimpressed cats in the back of my car as we made our way back to mine.

When we got home the dogs were pleased to see the cats and Alex and Hap went into the backyard to watch them play whilst me and Gemma made dinner and Koz and Tig sat at the table talking to us drinking beer. We were all quiet during dinner all lost in our thought. It was decided later that Gemma would sleep in Alex’s room again, Tig and Koz would be in the spare room and Happy on the sofa till Alex asked if he could sleep where he did last night. Happy shot me a look asking if it was ok and I just nodded my head knowing Alex needed this time with us both. 

Luckily I woke the next morning first and quietly went into the bathroom after grabbing some clothes and left Happy and Alex asleep. This morning I was going to see the lawyer then me and Gemma were going shopping for food for the wake. Non surprisingly even though it was just after six Gemma was already up and had coffee made as she sat at the kitchen table. ‘Morning Gemma’ I said as I made myself a cup.

‘Morning baby, what’s first this morning, lawyers office right?’

‘Yeah then the store to buy the food for the wake, Kelly is gonna come over and help us after she has dropped AJ off with her mom about lunch time.’

‘That’s Alex’s best friends mom right?’

‘Yeah, she actually reminds me of you, she takes no shit from anyone.’

‘And you do?’ She laughed ‘I remember someone only a few weeks ago screaming at a man know as the Tacoma Killer, so please you are more like me than you know, actually you might be more brave cause even I don’t have the balls for that’ she said and this time I laughed.

By eight everyone was up and we all had bagels as I needed to do more shopping for the house since I wasn’t expecting to be feeding us all. Gemma was coming with me to the lawyers office, but I had told her that I needed to do this myself which she understood and said she would just wait in reception for me. Alex was going to the garage again with the guys. I walked out of the lawyers office a few hours later in complete shock, Matt had left literally everything to me. The deed for his half of the garage as well as the one to his house plus he had money from when he lost his parents too. What I didn’t know was that when Alex was born he had set up some sort of trust in his name that currently had a little over one hundred grand in. The lawyer had gave me all the paper work and to be honest I didn’t grasp half of what he said to me and by the end I was only able to sign my name wherever he told me to. I walked to the car still in a daze and Gemma lit a smoke and handed it to me. ‘You ok Lucy? You’re white.’ she asked lighting her own. I just handed her the paperwork I had been given and she whistled after she opened it and read the first page, which said I now fully owned the garage and after all the taxes and things were paid I would be getting a cheque for just over five million dollars. I couldn’t process that, I mean I knew that Matt had money off his parents and that he had bought the condo we were living in when I first moved here, but this I wasn’t expecting, money was something we never really talked about in all the years we were friends. Gemma directed me to the passenger side and asked if we were going to the store that was by my house and I just nodded as she walked around to the drivers side and drove us to the store. 

Lucky for me Gemma and I had discussed earlier on the way to the lawyers what we were planning on cooking, cause I didn’t have a clue what we bought even when we got back home and unpacked everything onto the counter. We just left it there, she directed me outside and put a glass in my hand, I took the first sip to discover it was whisky which finally brought me out of it as I wasn’t expecting that at just after eleven in the morning and she just smirked at me as she sat opposite me smoking. ‘Thought that would break the haze’ she said.

‘Shit Gem, I’m sorry I just wasn’t expecting that when I went in there you know.’

‘I know baby but we have a lot of cooking to do over the next few days and you need to put it outta your head til after the funeral.’

‘Yeah you’re right, lets start cooking’ I said as I drained my glass stood up and walked into the kitchen, she followed me after she had finished her cigarette.

Kelly turned up and the three of us started the cooking, I was right that she and Gemma got along, when the guys came home we decided to stop for now and I told Kelly to go pick up AJ and come back here for a pizza dinner, plus Alex really wanted him to meet Happy. They all ended up in the backyard and us three woman sat around the kitchen table drinking wine and Gemma listened to the pair of us reminiscing about Matt. I could see the looks that were going on between her and Tig when we all sat around eating the pizzas, I never said anything but me and Gemma shared a few looks over it. When it was time for them to leave Alex shocked us all by saying that Happy had agreed for AJ to go with them tomorrow to the garage if it was ok with Kelly, she didn’t seemed fazed and agreed but me and Gemma had equal bewildered looks when Alex said it was Happy’s idea. The next few days saw us three cooking and the guys with the kids at the garage on Saturday and then on Sunday they took them and the dogs to the park to let us finish up before the funeral tomorrow.


	9. Chapter  9

After staring at the ceiling pretty much since I had climbed into bed hours ago, I decided to get up and make a start while the house was quiet, so I left a snoring Happy and Alex in bed and made my way downstairs. By five am I had the chilli Gemma had made the day before in the crock pot to slowly heat up, all the sandwiches made, wrapped and put back in the fridge, as well as all sides put into bowls and back in the fridge too. I was sitting on the back porch watching the dogs run around when I heard the door open, Koz came and sat next to me holding two cups and handed me one. ‘Did you manage to get any sleep Luce?’ he asked as he lit a smoke.

‘Nope, never actually managed to close my eyes. Can’t seem to turn my brain off.’

‘Understandable really, but you need to try Luce. I know what you are like when you have shit on your mind, you go til you literally crash.’

‘Yeah I know Koz but I can’t believe he’s gone, maybe today will help it finally sink in. I keep waiting for him to walk in and say it has all been some fucked up prank.’

‘I know Luce, maybe it will help that Alex is going back to Charming with Happy tomorrow, give you some time’ he said. Alex had asked yesterday if he could go back to Charming a few weeks earlier than planned and stay there for the rest of the summer. After I had talked to Happy and then Gemma about it I decided it would be for the best, especially since I still had to empty Matt’s house. I really didn’t think it would be a good idea for him to be there for that, so when I had booked their return flights yesterday I booked one for Alex as well.

‘Here is hoping Koz. Kelly is gonna speak to her brother about me renting a storage unit on his lot to put the stuff in I want to keep from Matt’s place til I can decide what to do with it all.’

‘You sure you don’t want me to stay a few extra days? I spoke to Lee yesterday and he said it wasn’t a problem.’

‘No Koz I will be fine, plus I know how much you hate packing shit up’ I said trying to convince not only him but also myself. I was dreading having to do this, especially with them all leaving but I knew that they all had lives to get back to and couldn’t expect them to stay to be my emotional crutch. They had all dropped everything to be there for me and Alex, but with Alex going with his dad tomorrow I knew I had to hold myself together til then and then I could completely fall apart when I was on my own. I had always been like that when things got heavy and as Koz looked at me we both knew it but he simply nodded and looked out at the dogs as I got up to refill both our cups.

Within the next hour we were all up and drinking coffee on the porch not saying much as we waited for Alex to wake up. I decided to have a shower before waking him up but as I walked into my room he was sitting up and rubbing his eyes. I told him I was having a shower and that everyone was downstairs, he simply nodded and got up. I dressed in a simple black dress and paired it with some flats, didn’t bother with any make up and after I blew dried my hair I went into Alex’s room, got his black jeans and shirt out and hung them on his closet door, knowing that as we didn’t have a car service he was likely to be riding to the funeral home with Happy on the bike. Koz had been using mine whilst he was here and Gemma would be riding with me in my car. When I went downstairs Gemma tried to convince me to have something to eat but I honestly wasn’t sure I would be able to keep anything down so I simply shook my head as I got another coffee and went outside to smoke. They all took turns getting showered and dressed and before I was ready it was time to make our way there. We were the first ones to arrive and I asked for a few minutes alone, even though it was a closed casket I needed to spend a last few minutes with Matt just me and him. Alex was plastered to Happy’s side as I made my way into the funeral home. I have never been a religious person but I knelt in front of the coffin and bowed my head as if began speaking quietly. ‘Matt what the fuck am I meant to do without you, this was never the plan. We were meant to grow old together so we could terrorise the nurses in the home we planned on moving into to. We had it all planned and then you went and left me. You were the best big brother I could have ever asked for. You were there for me when I was at my lowest points and I will forever be grateful that you were. I love you and I can’t believe I have to do this without you’ I said before getting up and wiping my eyes. 

I made my way outside and walked towards Alex. ‘Hey baby, want to come and say bye to uncle Matt before everyone gets here?’ I asked and when he nodded I held out my hand, which he took but he grabbed Happy’s too and when Happy looked at me I simply nodded and the three of us made our way into the room with Hap closing the door behind us. Alex stopped halfway up the aisle and looked at me. ‘Mom what am I meant to say?’ he asked me with tears in his eyes.

‘Whatever you want to baby, I told him that I loved him and that I would miss him. Tell him whatever you are feeling ok?’ I said as he let go of both of our hands and made his way towards the coffin. He didn’t kneel but placed a hand on it. ‘Uncle Matt I am gonna miss you, I love you. Thank you for teaching me all the cool stuff you did, I will never forget you. Mom says that you’re in heaven and that you are with your mom and dad. That makes me happy cause I know you missed them just like how I am gonna miss you.’ he said before his shoulders began to shake as he cried which made my eyes fill again but Happy walked to him, put a hand on his shoulder and guided him towards me. When they reached me Happy pulled me to him on his other side in a one arm hug and guided us both back to where the others were standing. We all stood there for a few minutes Happy’s arm still around me on one side and Alex on the other when we saw cars starting to pull into the lot. Kelly and AJ walked up first followed by everyone from the garage and all our friends.

After the humanist gave a lovely speech I got up to give the eulogy desperate to get it over with as I knew it was going to break my heart. As I stood behind the stand I didn’t even bother to get what I had wrote out of the pocket of my dress, I was just going to simply speak from my heart. ‘I thought long and hard about what I could say but the truth is that there isn’t enough time to list all that was good about him. He was my best friend, at the lowest point of my life he was there for me and held me together when I honestly couldn’t do it myself. He gave me a family when I felt like I didn’t have one anymore. Matt was the best uncle to Alex my son that anyone could ever hope for. He was the brother I never asked for and I will miss him everyday for the rest of my life. I know he is probably looking down at me now scowling cause I am crying. I can picture him motioning with his hands for me to wrap this up and mouthing to me that I am prattling on about things that everyone knew about him cause he was awesome.’ I said and chuckled as did most of them who knew him because that was just typical Matt. ‘He was taken far too soon, but he is now with his parents who I know he missed everyday and for that I am grateful.’ I finished and I turned to the coffin, kissed my fingers and placed them on it before walking back to my seat next to Alex.

The humanist got up and said a few more words before telling everyone that the wake would be held at my house in an hour. After I thanked him for a lovely service I made my way outside thanking everyone for coming. Alex wanted to ride back with Happy, so me and Gemma made our way back towards my car, she took my keys off me saying that she would drive back for which I was grateful.

Several hours later my house was finally emptying of people. I was grateful that so many people had come to pay their last respects to Matt, but with not much sleep over the last few days and all the rushing about I had done, I just wanted to shower put my sweats back on and cuddle up with Alex for a few hours knowing that tomorrow he would be in Charming and I had to start getting everything organised with Matt’s estate. Hank had told me before he left that he didn’t want me in the garage for the next few days and that he had it all sorted, but he would come over to Matt’s tomorrow night after the garage was closed and help me if I needed it and he would text me tomorrow before giving me a hug and a kiss on the cheek as he left. 

After clearing up all the dishes that were left and starting the dish washer I made my escape upstairs for a few minutes.

Happy

The last few days in Boston had evoked emotions in me I had never felt before, I had this strong urge to protect not only Alex but Lucy as well. Helping out in the garage whilst Lucy and Gemma had organised everything for the funeral on Monday had helped and I actually saw Alex smile for the first time in days, but it wasn’t the smile I was used to getting when he was in Charming. On Sunday he asked if he could come back with me on Tuesday and it nearly broke my heart when I looked him in the eyes, he was devastated and as much as Lucy was she agreed that he could, even though I could tell it was the last thing she wanted. Just like all those years ago she was putting everyone else above what she wanted and I can admit to myself that I admire her a great deal for it. I could see whenever I looked at her that she was barely hanging on to the grip she had on her emotions, but when I spoke to Koz he told me that she would wait til she was alone before letting them get the better of her especially for Alex’s sake. When Alex grabbed my hand after Lucy had asked him if he wanted to say goodbye before everyone else got there I looked at Lucy to make sure that it was ok, I didn’t want to intrude on something between the two of them. Even though I managed to keep my expression the same it nearly brought me to my knees seeing my son break down as he told his uncle that he loved him and that he would miss him. I didn’t even think about it when I wrapped arm him as well as Lucy as I led them out of the room to wait for people to arrive, I didn’t miss the looks that passed between Tig and Koz either but now was not the time to tell them to mind their own fucking business. The service was over quite quickly and Lucy had told us previously that Matt wasn’t religious and that a humanist would being saying a speech before she gave her eulogy. When she was crying and talking it took all my strength to keep myself in my chair next to Alex and not go and wrap my arms around her, which was something I thought I never feel for a woman other than my ma but I pushed the thought to the back off my brain and simply squeezed Alex’s hand as he started crying quietly beside me.

When we got back to Lucy’s and the house started to fill up with people for the wake Alex and I went and sat in the garden on the bench in the corner with the dogs and ate the food I had brought out for us, neither of us speaking but I could tell that the house was too crowded for us both. I could see through the windows that Lucy and Gemma were walking around making sure everyone had what they needed but when Lucy was alone in the kitchen I could see the mask slip a little before someone came in and she put it firmly back in place. A few hours later we were still sitting there but Tig, Koz and AJ had joined us. Lucy came out to ask Alex to come say bye to some people and that saw us all making our way back into the house. I was standing in the corner of the kitchen with Koz when we both saw Lucy make her way upstairs and after a few minutes as Koz made the step to go follow I shook my head and after checking Alex was still on the sofa with AJ made my way upstairs.

I looked into Alex’s room on the way past but it was empty and Lucy’s was too when I walked in but I heard a noise behind the closed bathroom door as I pushed her bedroom door closed. I made my way over and knocked once on the door and could tell she was crying by the way she spoke saying she would be out in a minute. I took the chance and tried the handle and thankfully it turned letting it open and as I opened it fully I saw her standing bracing her hands either side of the sink as she sobbed, the way she looked up at me as I closed the door was one of absolute utter devastation, she moved quicker than I thought she could as she flung herself at me and sobbed against my chest and I wrapped my arms around her. 

After a few minutes she calmed and suddenly stepped back and looked at me as her face flushed. ‘Shit Happy I’m sorry I didn’t mean to cry all over you. I know you coming here was for Alex and the last thing you need is me crying and sobbing on you’ she said as she tried to make her way past me to the door but I didn’t move to let her, instead I put both my hands under her arms and lifted her as I stepped forward so I could sit her on the counter and look directly at her when I spoke. ‘Lucy I didn’t just come here for Alex, I came for you as well.’ She looked at me with a puzzled look on her face before speaking. ‘But Hap we barely tolerate each other, I mean for fuck sake we hated each other for years.’

‘I never hated you Lucy and I don’t think you hated me either, I mean yeah we used to rub each other the wrong way but that was years ago. We seem to be getting on a lot better now.’ I said and for some reason what I said made her burst into tears again. I had no fucking idea why but simply pulled her back into my arms.

She never lifted her head off my chest when she started talking again. ‘I have no idea how I am meant to do this all alone, he was the one person I could always count on.’ I wasn’t even sure she was talking to me and not herself as she clung to my kutte as she talked. ‘I don’t know how Boston is meant to feel like home without him here. What the hell am I going to do without him?’

I lifted her chin to get her to look at me before I spoke. ‘Listen here Lucy you are not alone whether you live here or the fucking moon, we are all here for you and all you have to do is call, one of us will be here and before you say anything I don’t mean that I will be here just for Alex. Christ I will be there whenever you need me all you have to do is ask ok?’ I said and never looked away from her. I saw emotions pass quickly through her eyes as she looked back at me before nodding her head and muttering. ‘Thanks Hap’ but she never made to move and neither did I so we simply stayed there me standing between her legs and her sitting on the counter looking at me. 

Under the threat of torture I couldn’t tell you who made the first move but suddenly my lips crashed against hers as I pushed my hands into her thick hair and angled her head so I could deepen the kiss, but before I could she pushed her tongue into my mouth as her hands pulled me closer and her legs wrapped around the back of my thighs. One of my hands moved down to her ass so I could pull her closer to the edge of the counter so she was flush against me and I couldn’t stop my hips from moving against hers as I left her lips and started to kiss down her neck making her moan into my ear as I bit down gently and she started to move her hips against my growing hard on in my jeans. Just as I was about to move my hand from her ass to in between her legs her head shot up as she pushed me away. ‘Fuck Hap, we can’t do this. It’s my best friend’s wake and totally disrespectful plus we barely tolerate each other. Fuck I’m sorry Hap, I really shouldn’t have done that’ she rushed out as she sprung from the counter while pulling her dress down, before practically running out of the bathroom leaving me there wondering what the fuck we had just done. I closed that bathroom door and stood where I had found her a few minutes ago bracing my hands on the sink as I hung my head trying to calm myself down and pray my hard on would go away, but what didn’t help was the thoughts that came rushing back to my head about the night all those years ago that resulted in her being pregnant and leaving Charming.

Flashback

It had been a long twelve hour ride and all I wanted when I pulled into Charming was a shower, a beer then a blow job in that order. It was the usual Friday party and after I said hello to everyone I made my way to the dorm that Clay had said was mine for said shower whilst I was downing my first beer. When I walked back into the main part of the clubhouse I couldn’t stop the scowl when I saw her at the bar, as much as I denied it she really was fucking beautiful but every time she opened her mouth I was never sure whether I wanted to kiss her or kill her. She stood next to her dad in a pair of denim short shorts and a white tank that showed off her beautiful body. I made my way to the bar to grab another beer and a shot of something when she turned and looked at me with an equal glare. After I got my drinks I sat down next Tig and hoped she wouldn’t say anything to me but of course she just had to open her fucking mouth. ‘So still a dick Happy’ she said looking around Tig and grinned at me as Tig groaned.

‘Still a spoiled bitch’ I said as I took my shot and she laughed at me as she turned the other way and started talking to Koz. I hated that she just laughed at me but was also in awe that she had never been afraid to stand up to me, I knew I could scare people with just a look but not her. She was fucking fearless and it always made me hard. 

I saw out of the corner of my eye about an hour later that some skank knocked into Koz on purpose making him spill his drink all over her and when she turned glaring her tank was completely see through and I could see by the bumps next to her nipples that were showing through her shirt that she had both of them pierced. Before I could think about it I grabbed the bottle of whisky off the bar and walked back to my room, knowing that if I looked at her anymore I was going to do something that would make Tig kill me. What I wasn’t expecting just as I sat on my bed was the door to open again and in she walked, she obviously didn’t know that this room was mine as she didn’t even look up as she pulled the tank over her head. I was on my feet before she had pulled it off and was in front of her when she did but just as she muttered fuck I slammed the door closed and had her pinned against it as I kissed her. She didn’t respond for a few seconds then suddenly she was kissing me back as my hands made they way to her soaked bra and I twisted both her nipples and tugged on the barbells and she let out the sexiest moan I had ever heard and she pulled me closer by my kutte before pushing it off my shoulders and I threw it on the chair. Before I could explore more I felt her hands suddenly under my t-shirt as she twisted so it was me up against the door and as I looked at her she winked at me and then dropped to her knees. Before I could say anything she had my jeans and boxers around my knees and licked me from base to head before taking me deep into her throat without warning, causing my head to slam back against the door as my hand fisted in her hair. When I looked down she was looking up straight into my eyes with those fucking beautiful lips stretched around my cock, she sped up and I couldn’t help but fist my other hand in her hair and move her quicker, she moaned around my cock making my balls draw up quicker than I intended and when she gently used her teeth on the downward stroke I shot down her throat and I used her hair to keep her in place as I did. Within seconds of pulling out of her mouth I had picked her up and all but threw her down on the bed and ripped those fucking shorts off as well as her soaked panties and dropped to my knees at the end of the bed and dragged her down so her knees were over my shoulders. I nearly came again as I saw that she had her clit pierced too and when I looked up at her she simply smirked at me as she started playing with her nipples. That did it and I buried my face in her pussy sucking on that little ring through her clit and had to hold her hips down with both hands as she nearly came off the bed. I licked from her opening back to her clit and she tasted fucking amazing. It was rare that I ever got to do this, as much as I loved it, what with the quality of croweater that hung around I usually either got a blow job or took them from behind, course all I was interested was getting myself off never them but with her I could do this for hours. With one had still holding her hip I used the other to push two fingers inside of her as I sucked harder on her clit, when I felt her tighten around my fingers I knew she was gonna explode but what had me nearly coming against the side of the bed was when I felt a gush of liquid against my chin, as I pulled back and looked she was squirting over my hand and making the best fucking noises I had ever heard. Without giving her time to come down I was up on my knees and thrusting into her as I unhooked her bra and latched onto one of her nipples as she dragged her nails down my back causing me to thrust harder. I moved to her neck and bit down and I felt her tighten around me again as she came for the second time. I pulled out and told her to get on her knees which she did but moved up the bed and grabbed the head board. I followed her after I had kicked my boots and jeans off and ripped my t-shirt over my head and plunged back inside her as I grabbed both her hips. I knew I was leaving bruises on her but the more I squeezed her hips the more she moaned so I moved one hand down and smacked her right ass cheek hard and she bucked back against me so hard I nearly slipped out of her. I could tell she was getting close again as she white knuckled the head board and moved her hips at the same brutal pace I was setting, I wanted to feel her squirt again but this time on my cock. I moved forward and pulled her up so her back was against my chest and gripped her throat in one hand as my other went to her clit and twisted the ring as I tightened my hand that was still around her throat when I felt her tighten to the point I could barely move my cock inside of her and I felt her come as well as feel her squirt again all over my hand, balls and thighs which caused me to come as I bit down onto the side of her neck. We both collapsed on the bed panting and as I reached for my smokes she went to sit up but I pulled her back down and told her I wasn’t finished with her yet as I lit my smoke, she turned and smirked at me before taking it out of my mouth and taking a deep drag and handed to back to me, as I smoked it she reached over and grabbed the bottle of whisky which was next to me and it put those big tits right in my face and I couldn’t resist biting her right nipple and flicking my tongue again the barbell. I felt her hips flex into my side, I put my cigarette out without taking her nipple out of my mouth and when both my hands where free I grabbed her hips and dragged her on top of me. She started grinding on me and as I felt myself get hard again and she raised her hips and slammed down on me causing me to release her nipple as she started riding me hard and fast. My hands grabbed her ass to help her move the way I liked it. After a few minutes I grabbed her arms and pulled them behind her back causing her to bend over me and I kissed her again as I put my feet flat on the bed so I could thrust into her harder and faster. She came again and feeling her coming so strongly on my cock had me shooting into her again as I still held her arms behind her. When I released her she slumped onto my chest and we were both breathing fast, normally I would kick the girl out straight after but the way her hair was in my face made me inhale her scent and I couldn’t have stopped my arms from coming around her if I had wanted to. A few hours later I woke up and she had moved but was still snuggled up to my side and I simply closed my eyes and for once enjoyed the feeling of having a woman in my bed for the night. When I woke up again a few hours later I was alone and as much as I would have loved another round with her I knew it was best that I was alone as my brothers would kill me if they ever found out what we had just done so I rolled over and went back to sleep with the smell of her still on my sheets.

I was brought out of my memory by Koz knocking on the bathroom door telling me Kelly and AJ were leaving and that AJ wanted to say bye to me. I shouted I would be couple of minutes and thankfully hearing his voice had made my hard on vanish so I splashed some water on my face and after drying it made my way downstairs. After they had left Lucy asked Alex to come upstairs and help pack his bag ready for leaving tomorrow, Gemma was busy in the kitchen and Tig had passed out on the sofa so I grabbed a beer and went outside to smoke and wasn’t surprised when Koz joined me on the bench sitting opposite me with a smirk on his face. I ignored him and slowly finished my beer but before I could get up to grab another one he started speaking. ‘Wanna tell me what happened earlier Hap?’ He asked but when I didn’t say anything just kept looking at him with a blank expression he got serious. ‘Hap I am only saying this cause I love you both alright’ he waited for me to speak but all I did was nod knowing he was going to speak whether I wanted to hear it or not. ‘Please be careful with her, especially now when she is vulnerable. I know you have never wanted an old lady so you better be damn sure you want one now if this is what I think it is. She doesn’t deserve to be messed around neither does Alex and before you say anything I know you love that kid. Everyone who sees you together can see just how deep that bond goes already, all I’m saying is just think about it, make sure that if you feel something for Luce it isn’t just a by-product of her giving you an amazing kid and its actually for her as a person.’ Before I could even think about whether I was even going to reply he was up and off towards the house after patting me on the shoulder. 

I sat out there for another hour thinking about what Koz had said and I was still non the fucking wiser to how I actually felt which just pissed me off more. I mean I knew all those years ago that as much as she bugged the ever loving shit outta me I was attracted to her but he was right I had never even thought about having an old lady then or now. I was always the type to be alone and found it easier that way but Christ she made me think I had been wrong all these years and that if I had handled the news differently all those years ago would things have been different? Would I have had Alex in my life from the minute he was born? Before I could think about it any longer I heard my private cell going off in my pocket and knew ma was calling me.

‘Hey ma’ I answered.

‘Happy, how are things in Boston?’ She asked knowing that the funeral had been today.

‘Ok I guess. Alex handled it really well. He is coming back to Charming with me tomorrow for the rest of the summer.’

‘Oh, is Lucy ok with that?’She asked and I could hear the worry in her tone.

‘Well she agreed with it and thinks it is best for Alex.’

‘I’m sure she does but is it best for her I wonder.’

‘I have no clue at this point ma, Koz offered to stay a few days and help her pack up Matt’s house but she said no that she needed to do it herself.’

‘Of course she did. What’s going on with you Hap I can hear in your voice something is bothering you.’

‘Not really the time and place to talk about it ma.’

‘Oh that’s sounds interesting. I am going to ask your aunt to drop me off on Wednesday and I can spend a few days down there with you both if that’s ok that is?’ she asked. I had called her the day after I got to Boston and told her about what had happened with Matt.

‘Yeah ma that’s fine, I was gonna bring him up to see you on the weekend anyway.’ I said as I heard the door open and Alex came out and started walking towards me.

‘That way you can tell me what is really going on with you when he is asleep cause I know you need to talk things through with me’ she said and I really had no clue how she just always knew when it came to me but Christ the woman really did.

‘Ok ma thanks, I will see you in a few days.’

‘Bye Hap, I love you’ she said just like she always did.

‘You too ma’ I said hanging up the phone and putting it back in my pocket just as Alex sat down at the table and handed me the beer he was carrying saying ‘uncle Koz thought you might need this.’ Christ between my ma and Koz it was a toss up which one knew me best it seemed.

Lucy

Christ how the hell did I go from sobbing on the fucking man to nearly having sex with him on my bathroom counter I don’t know, but Christ the way he made me feel with just a simple kiss was unbelievable. Today was not the day to think about that though. I meant what I said to him that it was disrespectful to do this today of all days. I felt like such a bitch for not only kissing him when he was trying to comfort me but for running out of the bathroom the way I did. I acted like I was a teenager not a thirty year old woman with a kid. I made my way downstairs and Koz smirked at me when I got to the bottom of the stairs, but didn’t say anything to me as Kelly walked towards me and told me she was taking AJ home. Koz walked up the stairs as I made my way into the kitchen to see Gemma had finished what I started before I went upstairs and was grateful to her. After saying bye to Kelly and AJ me and Alex went upstairs to pack his bag ready for tomorrow, I was pleased that he wouldn’t need much what with me leaving stuff for him at Happy’s. He sat on his bed and looked at me as I was pulling a small duffel out of his closet. ‘Mom?’ he asked when I still had my back to him.

‘Yeah sweetie’ I asked still pulling a few items out of his closet.

‘Are you going to be ok?’

‘What do you mean?’ I said turning to look at him and I made my way towards him when I saw he was close to tears.

‘With me going with dad and being here all alone’ he said as I sat on the bed and pulled him into a one armed hug.

‘Alex baby, I will be fine. I have to start sorting through uncle Matt’s stuff and I know it isn’t something you need to see so you going back a few weeks early with your dad is the best option. I will call you every night and in a few weeks when everything is sorted I will come and spend sometime out there with you ok? Please don’t worry. I know this is the first time you have dealt with something like this but your ten baby. You need to let us worry about everything, you just need to work through all the sadness you are feeling and trust me that it really is best that you do that away from here and your dad is really excited to spend more time with you.’ I said and kissed his head as he got up and told me he was going to talk with his dad as I got up and finished packing his stuff. 

Once I was back downstairs the sofa was empty and I couldn’t resist lying on it now that I was in my sweats and without even realising it I was out. When I woke up the room was barely light but I was covered in a blanket and when I looked at the clock I realised I had slept for eight solid hours. Knowing that I had a lot to do today I got up and decided to see what I could make everyone for breakfast before they all left for the airport in a few hours.


	10. Chapter Ten

Lucy

I had just finished the bacon when everyone walked into the kitchen and Gemma made a beeline straight for the coffee as the others sat around the table all looking half asleep still. Gemma got four cups and started making everyone a coffee whilst I went to the fridge and got some juice for Alex before we sat at the table and everyone started putting food on their plates. It was decided when we were eating that I would take Alex, Gemma and Koz in my car to the airport and that Tig would ring someone from the New York charter to meet them at the airport to pick up the bikes that had been loaned to them. Everyone but Happy filed out of the kitchen to go get ready and as I was clearing the table he spoke. ‘You sure you don’t want to come home with us Lucy?’ he asked as I was loading the dishwasher with my back to him.

‘Hap, I am home and I have so much to do to start sorting through all of Matt’s stuff, plus I have to go see the lawyer again sometime this week to sign more shit about his will.’

‘You know what I mean’ he said and I didn’t hear him move but he was right behind me as I straightened up and turned to look at him.

‘I have things here I need to do, I can’t just drop everything to go halfway across the country for a few weeks Hap. I trust you to keep Alex safe so just drop it ok?’ I said as he glared at me, but I wasn’t backing down.

‘I don’t like the idea of you here by yourself’ he finally said as he lent back against the island and crossed his arms over his chest.

‘Jesus Happy I have been alone here before. I am more than capable of looking after myself, I have been doing it for long enough. I don’t know where this sudden macho bullshit has come from but knock it off alright. I don’t need anyone to try and rescue me. I am fine.’ I said through clenched teeth as I walked out of the kitchen and away from him. Tig and Koz were watching cartoons as I walked past them, but I didn’t stop as I made my way upstairs to make sure Alex wasn’t putting stuff in his duffel that he would never need, but I didn’t miss the way the pair of them had smirked at me obviously hearing at least some of what me and Happy had talked about. When I got to the top of the stairs Alex was walking out of his room dressed and dragging the duffel behind him. ‘Leave it baby, I need to check it again and then I will bring it down’ I said. He just nodded at me, walked past me and down the stairs as Gemma came out of the bathroom and followed me into his room.

‘You ok Lucy?’ she asked as she checked her bag.

‘I’m fine Gem, just Happy trying to pull some macho shit about me being here alone.’

‘So he is finally realising then?’ was all she said still with her back to me.

‘I’m not sure I want you to even explain what that means.’ I said as I sat on the end of Alex’s bed with a sigh.

‘What I mean is’ she said walking towards me and sitting next to me ‘is that he is starting to see you in a completely different way than he did all those years ago.’

‘What the bitch that he wanted to choke out every time we came within feet of each other?’

‘No’ she laughed ‘the bitch that has always stood up to him and never backed down or bowed to his every command. The bitch that has always went toe to toe with him even when you were sixteen years old. The woman who has given him the best thing that he has ever had in his life which is his son and finally Luce the woman I do believe he is falling in love with.’

‘Gemma whatever shit you smoked this morning on the sly must be some strong stuff cause there is no way that man feels anything like that for me. We barely tolerate each other and even that is for Alex’s sake.’

‘Lucy you have no idea how the two of you have always looked at each other, even when ya both being stubborn assholes about things or throwing insults at each other. We have all been able to see it for years when you lived in Charming. Christ baby it was Tig who first ever mentioned it and we all know that he said he would kill anyone that came near you.’

‘I honestly don’t think that is the case Gemma, but if I am being honest with you Maris said something similar to me when we went to see her in Bakersfield, but I said holding up at hand when she smirked at me ‘with everything else going around my head whatever attraction is there is the last thing on my mind.’

‘I know Lucy but just don’t block it out is all I am saying, I remember how good you always were about putting things in boxes in your head and pushing them to one side. Maybe try and get things straight in your head over the next few weeks without having to worry about Alex for once and I know as a mom its not that easy but just try if not for you then him ok?’

‘Yeah ok Gem’ I said.

‘Now want to tell me what happened when he followed you up here yesterday?’ she asked as I stood up.

‘Not a chance’ I said causing her to laugh as I walked out of the room carrying Alex’s duffel over my shoulder.

Within the hour saw us all making our way to the airport and I knew Happy wasn’t well happy with me about our conversation, but I was honest when I told him I had a lot of things to sort out in the next few weeks. When we pulled in we saw the guys from New York, but Happy and Tig talked to them for a few minutes as I found a place in the short term to park and when we were walking towards them they were pulling out so we made our way into the airport. I hugged Alex extra hard and told him I wanted a call every night, he just nodded as he squeezed me longer than he had in a while. I got hugs off Gemma and Tig, when I got to Happy he looked at me with a look I hadn’t seen on his face before pulling me to him and hugging me as well. Koz was getting a later flight back to Washington so we were going to grab a coffee while the others walked through the gate and I fought the tears that were filling my eyes when Alex turned back and waved at me before disappearing through it.

Happy

When we landed Clay was there in Gemma’s SUV to pick us up and after brief hugs we made our way back to Charming, with him stopping at my house so we could drop off Alex’s bag on the way to the garage. Alex had been quiet since we left Lucy at the airport in Boston but I didn’t push him to talk. I knew he was a little nervous about leaving her and being here without her. Once we got to TM Clay said that we needed to have church so Alex went with Gemma into the office while we headed into the chapel after Clay. Once we were caught up with club business I headed outside to see Alex and found him in the garage with Lowell working on a car. Gemma walked up beside me where I was standing smoking. ‘You ok Hap?’ she asked as she lit her own.

‘Yeah’ was all I said still not being able to put a name to the feeling and thoughts swirling around my head as I continued to watch Alex.

‘Well just remember that I am here if ya need an ear’ she said before walking back over to the office.

A few hours later we pulled into the store to get some food on my bike and the prospect following us in my truck so he could take them to mine for me. We were walking around the store me pushing the cart and Alex putting things he liked in when he looked at me. ‘Dad, mom will be ok sorting things out back home right?’

‘Alex’ I said looking down into his worried face ‘she will be fine. She has to start sorting out Matt’s house as well as go talk to the lawyers again. You heard what she said she will ring you every night and you can call her whenever you want to.’

‘Yeah ok dad, I just have never been away from her for more than one night when I have a sleepover, I know I’m being a baby about things’ he said and went to walk away down the cereal aisle but I grabbed his shoulder and turned him around to look at me, hoping that what I was going to say to him wasn’t the wrong thing.

‘Alex listen to me’ I said when he finally lifted his head and looked at me a slight blush on his face. ‘You are not being a baby, she is your mom and you love her and want to protect her, just like I do with my mom. It is ok to miss her when you are here with me and not in Boston, if you want to go home just say the word and I will book flights home. It won’t upset me if you want to go home son.’ He just looked up at me before throwing his arms around my middle and hugging me, I didn’t care that we were in the middle of the store or that people were staring at us, I hugged him back as I felt his shoulder shake as he cried into my kutte. After a few minutes he pulled away and muttered a ‘thanks dad’ as he darted down the aisle and came back carrying two boxes of cereal, he grinned at me as he dumped them in the cart neither of us mentioning again what had just happened.

The next day we were at TM when I saw my aunt’s car pull into the lot and Alex darted out of the garage when he noticed my ma step out of the passenger side and hugged her as I wiped my hands and slowly walked over to them as my aunt got out the drivers side and smiled at me. I knew my aunt wouldn’t stay long but we all went over to the benches and I dropped a kiss on ma’s head. I sat opposite her and Alex who were still both talking a mile a minute to each other. Within the hour my aunt left to go back to Bakersfield, I handed my ma the keys to my truck so she could drive herself back to mine and Alex said he wanted to go with her. 

When I got home a few hours later I walked into the house to hear laughter coming from the kitchen and when I walked in Alex had a massive smile on his face as he was drying the dishes, when I looked at ma she just winked at me and kept on doing the dishes. ‘Ma I have a dishwasher ya know’ I said.

‘We dirty it, we clean it’ Alex said and I couldn’t help but smirk at the two of them because that is what she used to say to me when I was his age as I walked over to the fridge to grab a beer.

Later that night after we had eaten dinner and thankfully ma had used the dishwasher, Alex said he was going for a shower and to ring his mom before reading for awhile in bed, ma got a hug and me a fist bump before he made his way to the bathroom, me and ma went on to the back porch to smoke and share another drink together.

‘So Hap wanna tell me why you sounded so weird the other day on the phone?’ she asked as she pulled a joint from her pocket, lit it up and took a deep drag.

‘Some shit happened when we were in Boston’ I said and took the joint when she offered it to me.

‘I gather you mean between you and Lucy.’

‘Yeah, when I got there the pair of them were in bed as it was really late and ma all I could think about was getting to them, not just Alex. I climbed into bed with them desperate to be there. Lucy never mentioned anything and the next day Alex wanted us both close, so that is how we slept the whole time I was there bar the last night when she fell asleep on the sofa out of pure exhaustion.’

‘Right well I can’t see how that is a problem, you care for them and wanted to be strong for them.’

‘Yeah but I get that I feel that way about Alex he’s my kid and I love him. It’s the shit that’s in my head when it comes to Lucy that I can’t seem to get straight. The day of the funeral she slipped away and I went to make sure she was ok, when I saw her standing there sobbing and falling apart all I wanted to do was to make it all better for her, to take away all the pain she was feeling and then when she calmed down we kissed and then she ran outta there like the fucking devil was about to catch her’ I said and she chuckled a little as I glared at her.

‘Hap my boy I am not laughing at your feelings, I am laughing at just how much you reminded me of ya dad right then’ she said which shocked me as she very rarely talked about him anymore and I knew she still struggled to this day with his death when I was a toddler. ‘He too didn’t know how to grasp his emotions when it came to matters of the heart and I will say to you what his ma said to him all those years ago. Pull ya head outta ya ass and realise what is right in front of you. Just because you have never been in love before doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t be able to see it when it’s literally staring you in the eye.’

‘Jesus Christ ma, I ain’t in love with her’ I growled as I got up to pace the length of the porch, pulling a joint out of my pocket this time and lighting it.

‘Ok well tell me this son, when you first get up in the morning since you found out about him who is it after him that you think of or last thing at night or any random time during the day. You may think I am full of shit right now but trust me on this Happy you love that girl, you may even have loved her all those years ago but then wasn’t the time for either of you then. You were both too stubborn and young to see just how good you could have been together, if only you hadn’t both fought the attraction with barbs and insults being thrown at each other whenever you were in the same room together.’

Everything she had just said to me started swirling around in my head as I slumped back into my chair and continued smoking the joint not even offering her any. Fuck was she right, was I in love with Lucy? Had I been for all these years and was only just realising it now. I mean I always thought she was hot when she lived in Charming and I had wanted to fuck her since she was sixteen but it was that night in the clubhouse that had finally pushed me over the edge when she walked into my dorm room not realising it was mine and whipped off that tank top wiping out any self control I had left. I could admit to myself even now that every time she refused to back down from an argument with me never failed to get me hard. Jesus Christ she is right, fuck ma is right I am in love with her and I left her all alone in Boston whilst she is going through all this and to top it off I took our son with me.

‘Happy look at me’ ma said squeezing my hand ‘listen, I can see all the doubt crossing your face as you think it, don’t do anything rash and well very un you like. You need time to process this and think everything through before you even consider telling her, not only for her but for Alex as well. She has just lost her best friend and isn’t in the right place emotionally for you to be telling her any of this. I know how you get when you have your mind made up about something but this time you are going to have to put her feelings and emotional state above your own right now. Wait til she comes here to pick Alex up and have a conversation about things, see where she is in her grief and for god sake don’t just start making demands cause I know from the little time I have spent with her that it will only make her dig her heels in and do the exact opposite of what you say just to piss you off even if she does feel the same way about things ok.’

I just looked at her, taking in everything she was saying to me but being unable to form any words about what I was currently feeling so I just nodded at her. She stood up to give me a hug before saying she was going to turn in for the night and that she would see me in the morning and made her way inside. She was staying in my room and I was taking the couch til I had time to sort out the third bedroom and make in into another guest room now that Alex had his own permanently here. I sat out there for hours thinking about everything not able to turn my brain off. Knowing that I wouldn’t be able to get any sleep I made my way into the kitchen hours later to make another pot of coffee, going back outside once it was done taking that and a whole pack of smokes with me.

Ma stayed through til Monday and Alex was either with me at the garage, with her at the house or out and about in Charming. I was thankful that even though I never really stopped thinking about what we had talked about on the porch her first night here she never brought it up again. Years of never giving anything away unless I wanted it to be known also helped me keep everything under wraps from my brothers. I knew ma was right and now was not the time to lay it all on the line with Lucy. We had sent a few texts back and forth but never spoken since I left Boston but she did talk to Alex every night.

Alex had been here with me for two weeks when my burner rang whilst I was in the garage with Alex and Tig working on a car, even though I didn’t recognise the number I answered it anyway as we tended to change numbers often in the club but what I wasn’t expecting when I answered was to hear Hank’s Boston accent down the line asking me if I had a minute to talks to him, so I excused myself and walked around behind the garage and sat on the old pile of tires to talk to him.

‘Hey Hank what’s up?’ I asked after making sure I was alone. I had given him my number when we were working in the garage in Boston and told him to call if there was ever a problem with Alex or Lucy, but honestly never thought he would ring me over ringing Koz about anything relating to Lucy.

‘Hey man, sorry to call but I am at a loose here about what to do’ he said.

‘What’s going on?’

‘I came to check on Lucy since for the past week I haven’t seen her and bad, it’s really bad. I have tried to get her to talk to me but she just keeps telling me she is fine and that she is still processing everything, but it looks like she isn’t sleeping and I can tell that in the last few weeks she has lost a shit ton of weight. She is clearly anything but fine man. I honestly don’t know whether to call a doctor or not, she looked at me and it was like her eyes were looking right through me not even registering that I was standing in front of her. I didn’t know whether to ring you or Koz, but then I remembered what you said when we were in the garage about wanting to be there for them both. I really think you, Tig or Koz might have better luck getting through to her than me. She really seems to be on a slippery slope here and she ain’t willing to let me help her man’ he said and I could hear the panic in his voice.

‘Shit Hank, I will go talk to Tig and Gemma and get back to you soon and Koz wouldn’t have answered anyway cause I know he is on his way here. I will call you soon and Hank thanks for ringing.’

‘No problem, I am gonna go home but will speak to you soon Happy. Bye.’

I walked towards the club house stuffing my phone in my pocket after not seeing Tig or Alex in the garage nor Gemma in the office. All three of them were sitting in the club house watching Jax and Opie playing pool. ‘Gem, Tig can I have a word please?’ I asked as I made my way over to them gesturing with my head towards the chapel where Clay was sitting looking at papers with Bobby. They both nodded and followed me in and I closed the door behind me making Clay look up at me and ask ‘What’s going on?’

‘Sorry to disturb but I just had Hank on the phone, he is running the garage for Lucy and he went over to check on her since she hasn’t been to the garage in a week and he says she’s in a really bad way. Pretty much not sleeping or eating and that she looked right through him telling him she was fine without even registering that he was in front of her’ I told them as they all said shit at the same time as Tig got back up and started pacing the length of the table.

‘Right, well I am going back up there and dragging her ass back here whether she wants it or not’ he ranted as he continued to pace and before I could say anything it was Clay who spoke next.

‘Tig brother I get it man she’s your kid and you want her here but I don’t think you going up there and starting to make demands is going to help at all. Remember when you went when she was in hospital, you had to be removed by security.’

‘He’s right Tig’ Gemma said from where she was standing behind Clay her hand on his shoulder. ‘I think Happy should be the one to go. She knows that he is keeping Alex safe and trusts him to do that and currently she doesn’t have anyone there do to that for her since Matt died. I know she is close to Koz but I don’t think sending him is the right answer either. She needs someone in her corner just for her right now and Clay is right you going in half cocked making demands is not going to end well for anyone involved but especially her and Alex. Let Happy go and bring her back here for a few weeks. Hank can manage the garage and it will do her good to get away from everything that reminds her about what she has lost.’

Tig nodded defeated but didn’t look remotely pleased with what had just been said at all. ‘You better bring her home Happy, Alex can come stay at my place for a few days and before anyone says anything, it’s cleaned and there is no kinky shit lying around ok.’ I couldn’t help but smirk at what he said cause he knew that I was the least of his worries if he exposed Alex to that side of him, Lucy would literally cut his balls off, feed them to one of her dogs and do it with a smile on her face the entire time.

‘Ok I will go but lets just tell Alex that I have to leave town for a few days on club stuff, he knew that it could happen and that if and when he would be staying with either Gemma or Tig. I will get Juice to book me the flight out but not the return cause I have a feeling we might be driving back’ I said but hid my shudder at the thought of being in a cage whilst driving literally across the country.

When we all filed out of the chapel Alex was now playing against Jax with Opie giving him pointers and Juice was in his usual corner surrounded by his tech stuff. I quietly asked him to book me one ticket on the soonest flight to Boston, he looked between Alex and me but just nodded his head and started clicking away as I walked over to Alex and explained that I had to go out of town for a few days but that he would be staying with Tig til I was back. He just nodded at me as he went to pocket the black, actual nailed it and won the game getting high fives off both Jax and Opie. 

An hour later saw me hugging Alex goodbye and climbing into the van with Tig as we made our way to the airport for me to catch my flight out to Boston. I had rang Hank to tell him I was on my way and insisted that I didn’t need him to pick me up from the airport as it would be early morning when I arrived and I would just grab a cab to get to Lucy’s house. We didn’t speak much in the van but when Tig dropped me off told me again to bring his baby home as I was exiting the van. Thankfully my flight was on time and I was sat next to a older guy who didn’t talk to me at all during the flight. 

Getting a cab was easy enough and just after five am I was pulling in Lucy’s street and I wasn’t surprised to see all the lights on when I got out and walked up the path to her porch and knocked gently on the door before I turned the handle and it opened, I would address her not locking the doors later. After I dumped my bag, kicked off my boots and shushed the dogs as they barked at me, I walked into the living room as I could hear the tv on but was in no way prepared for the sight that greeted me. She didn’t even turn and look at me as I walked towards where she was sitting on the couch with the dogs who had turned from me when they all realised I wasn’t a threat. I sat on the table in front of where she was staring at the wall oblivious still to me being in her house til I touched her knee and she looked up at me her eyes suddenly going wide as she looked around the room. ‘Hap, where’s Alex?’ she said and it sounded as if she hadn’t spoken in awhile from how scratchy her voice sounded.

‘He’s fine Lucy, he is still in Charming, staying with Tig for a few days. Hank called me yesterday and said you weren’t doing so good.’

‘I’m fine really’ she said but was now looking at the wall again.

‘Lucy you are clearly not fine. Clearly you haven’t eaten in awhile. I can tell you have lost weight without you having to even stand up.’ I said but I simply got a shrug from her and she silently began to cry causing me to move from in front of her to beside her and pull her into my side. Christ the feelings this woman was able to pull outta me was actually kinda scary not that I would ever admit that to anyone, her especially. The only woman who I had ever felt this protective of was ma. Soon I heard her breathing even out I knew she had fallen asleep on me so I moved and picked her up carrying her to bed so she could get some sleep whilst I rang Gemma and made plans to bring her back to Charming whether she wanted to come or not. For once she was going to do as she was told and be with her family when she needed them the most.

Gemma had told me to call no matter the time so I wasn’t surprised that she didn’t sound sleepy when she answered her phone after only one ring. ‘Hey Hap, how is she?’

‘Hey Gem, well it isn’t good that’s for sure. She is asleep at the minute but Christ Gem the front door wasn’t even locked when I got here at 5 in the fucking morning. She is a mess Gem, I am bringing her back whether she wants to or not at this point. I am gonna pack her shit whilst she is asleep if I have to.’

‘Hap just remember that she ain’t the Lucy we are all used to at the minute ok.’

‘Yeah I know Gem but I ain’t messing around either, she needs to come home for at least a little while.’

‘I agree, but just remember what I’ve said Hap, call me when you have everything sorted ok?’

‘Will do Gem bye.’ I said hanging up before dialling Hank and telling him that I was taking her back with me for a few weeks, he assured me that he would keep the garage going, that Lucy’s truck was at the garage and that if she wanted to take the dogs with her that he could drop it off for me in a few hours.

At this point I didn’t care how we would get back to Charming, I need to grab a few hours sleep and then talk to Lucy about it all, but I had no problem driving us back if she wanted to bring the dogs with us, even if it did mean driving a cage across the damn country to do it. I needed to make sure she was ok and I couldn’t do that with her being here and me in Charming so she would just have to accept that she was coming with me.

After making sure everything was locked this time I lay on the sofa and closed my eyes cause as much as I wanted to go crawl into bed with Lucy now was not the time for me to do anything but make sure she came to Charming with me.

I woke up a few hours later to the smell of coffee and found Lucy sitting in the kitchen with a cup in front of her and was relieved when she actually turned and looked at me when I walked in, she had obviously had a shower as her hair was wet. I went and sat opposite her when I had poured myself a cup. ‘Lucy I ain’t fighting you on this but I am telling you right now you’re coming back to Charming with me.’ I said expecting her to point blank refuse and fight with me but what shocked the shit out of me more was her just nodding her head in agreement as she got up to pour herself more coffee. ‘I can’t leave the dogs though, nobody to watch em’ she said with her back to me and I knew she meant that Matt had always looked after them when she went away.

‘Figured as much Lucy but you have that truck that will fit them in, it would only take us three days max to drive it.’

‘Yeah ok Hap, but it will only be for a week or so as Alex starts school again soon.’

‘I know Luc’ I said as she sat back down at the table to drink her coffee.


End file.
